You Can't Hide The Truth for Long
by A Thing For Brothers
Summary: An accident while visiting a witness' home with Don occurs, threatening to cause Charlie to lose his vision. Knowing that Don will lay even more blame on himself if he knows he can't see, Charlie tries to fake it. But...you can't hide the truth for long.
1. Scars Are Souvenirs You Never Lose

**Well, so begins another story, hopefully a good one. To my Protect Me reviewers, as you can see, I got a majority of votes for this one, rather than the sequel. Sorry to those who said sequel first! The plot did change a little, but the main point of the story will be about Charlie hiding his blindness from Don.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Numb3rs and do not think I do. I'm not that far in denial. **

**A very, very special thanks to FraidyCat for all her wonderful help with this. I couldn't have done it without her! So go thank her, too! She deserves it!**

**And thank you to my dear friend Maureen(better known on here as maurbil) for convincing me to keep this one for myself, rather than give it away.**

**Anyway, on with the story! I've stuck with third person. It's kinda grown on me...**

Charlie Eppes couldn't contain his excitement. Few times did he and his brother Don get to spend time together, outside of work at least. That's what made this outing all the more special to him. They usually focused on work. Now was one-on-one time, just being brothers. Charlie was supposed to wait in the car. Don was inside a large two-story house getting the statement from a witness. Though he only left minutes before, Charlie was already outside the car.

Charlie and Don had planned a day at the batting cages. Don was better at baseball than his younger brother. But Charlie was intelligent and Don was a good teacher. Besides, Charlie was happy enough just being with his older brother.

Don had bought his younger brother his own bat. Charlie felt like a child who had just received an important heirloom from his or her parent. It was special to him since Don went to the trouble of buying it for him, an unspoken promise that today wasn't their last day spent together. Sure, Charlie could easily have bought his own, but it wasn't as special as it was coming from his idolized brother.

Charlie was outside by the car taking several practice swings. Something was off. He could feel it. He fought to remember the things Don had taught him many years before. Charlie looked down at his hands. He realized he'd forgotten the "knuckle line." Moving his hand along the bat, it felt better now. The bat still felt awkward and heavy in his hands, but he hoped after more practice swings it'd feel more natural. Until then, he imitated how he'd seen Don bat for years.

Charlie was too wrapped up in practicing to see the man at the back of the house. He did, however, notice when he came charging at him.

Startled, Charlie was unprepared for the man running full force at him. Frightened, he took a step back toward the car. The man stopped in front of him and looked inside the car to the ignition. There weren't any keys inside, like he'd hoped Charlie had taken them out when he left the air conditioned car to practice. The man turned to him with a glare in his eyes.

"Give me the keys," he said, threateningly, as he took a step closer to Charlie. Involuntarily, Charlie touched the outside of the pocket that held the keys. He gripped the bat, afraid he'd have to use it soon, but meanwhile he prayed he wouldn't.

Charlie shook his head. "N-no."

"Give me the keys!" The man demanded louder.

"No!" Charlie gathered more courage than he knew he had and swung the bat at the man. However, he was surprised when the man grabbed the bat with both hands and shoved, knocking Charlie into the side of the car. Charlie held onto the bat with all his strength, but it was not enough when he was hit hard in the shins. Yelping, Charlie let go and fell to his knees.

"Don!" he screamed, hoping his brother could hear him.

When he saw the man heading to the driver's seat, Charlie stood and hit the man on the side of his face.

"You son of a bitch!" The man pulled the bat back and swung as hard as he could, hitting Charlie in the back of the head. He immediately lost consciousness.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don searched the house after he received no response from Melissa Thomas, a witness to a thrift store robberies. It was one of a chain of six robberies, each involving some sort of shooting. The woman had said she'd gotten a good look at the man, though facial features were hidden beneath a mask. She had been too traumatized immediately after to give them any straight answers. Don hoped this would be the lead that would help get to the bottom of this case.

The door had been open, slightly cracked, so he let himself in, keeping his weapon drawn. He made his way up the steps. Moving to a closed door at the top, he pushed it open with his foot. Don was surprised by what he found inside.

Melissa Thomas lay tied up at the wrists on the floor. A bag was tied tightly around her head, cutting off all air supply. Don checked for a pulse he knew wasn't there. So begins a new crime scene. He flipped open his cell phone and called one of the agents under his command.

"Hey, David, it's Don. Look, the witness to the thrift store robbery? She's been murdered. I need a team out here. Do you have the address?"

"Yeah, I've got it right here. Will you be there?"

"I'll wait around until the team arrives. I hope that's okay with Charlie," Don spoke while walking.

"We'll be there as soon as we can."

"All right."

Don stepped to a window and looked out toward the driveway. A normal sight wasn't what he found.

Don wasn't prepared to see an unfamiliar man swinging a bat at his brother's head.

"Charlie!" he shouted as he rushed to the steps.

"Don, what's going on?" David asked.

"I need an ambulance here, too!" With that, Don hung up.

The man was speeding out of the driveway, in _his_ car. Don fired off several shots, aiming at the tires. The car was too far gone, though, and he wasn't able to stop it.

He turned his attention back to his brother's limp body. Leaning down, he checked for a pulse, fearing how limp his brother was. Don was relieved to find a steady pulse. Knowing the seriousness of a head injury, he didn't move his brother, though he lay face-down in the gravel. It would be painful, but he wouldn't dare move him.

"You're going to be okay, Buddy. I'm right here." Don tried to encourage his brother as he took his brother's hand in his.

Taking much too long for Don's taste, the CSU arrived, along with David and Colby.

Don turned his attention to the paramedics.

"He was hit in the back of the head with a baseball bat," he informed them when they came up to Charlie.

The medics proceeded to put a neck brace on Charlie, then they gingerly turned him over, placing a cushion beneath his injured head. Don knelt down with them after seeing Charlie's face. He wiped the gravel off his little brother's face and picked some out of Charlie's mouth. When a stretcher was placed on the ground beside Charlie, Don stood while the paramedics laid him gently on top.

He followed close behind, ready as soon as they were to leave. He ignored his friends, his fellow agents. They knew Charlie, too, and they cared about him. But Don had hardly processed it himself. How was he supposed to explain it to them?

Don did turn as the paramedics lifted Charlie into the back of the ambulance.

"I... I'll tell you all I know later. I...I can't right now, though." He looked pleadingly at David and Colby.

"It's all right, Don. Charlie will be okay," Colby assured his boss and friend.

Don nodded, not truly believing it, and got into the ambulance.

"How am I supposed to tell Dad about this?" Don asked himself, not knowing the answer.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don didn't need to worry, though. As soon as the ambulance pulled out of the drive, Colby opened his cell and called Alan.

Alan was at home, smiling to himself with the knowledge that his two sons were going to be spending time together. He knew how much it meant to Charlie and hoped it meant a lot to Don, too. Charlie was unable to hide his enthusiasm this morning, reminding Alan of his son's childhood.

He was startled when the phone rang. He stood, walking to the phone.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Mr. Eppes? This is Colby."

"Oh, hi, Colby. Don and Charlie aren't here right now. They're going to the batting cages."

"Um, about that... Mr. Eppes, there's been some sort of incident."

Alan sank into the chair, fearing the line "there's been an incident."

"What happened?"

"We're not entirely sure. Don wasn't able to tell us much."

"Is he okay?"

"As far as we could tell. It's more about Charlie."

"Charlie? What could have happened to him? They were just going to the batting cages!" He felt the panic rising in him at the thought of his son hurt.

"Don made a stop. He was supposed to get a statement from a witness, but found her murdered in her home. Charlie was with him and someone hit him with a baseball bat in the back of the head. That's all I know. They're taking him to the hospital right now. Don's with him."

"I'll be there, too."

"Do you need a ride?"

"No thank you." Alan hung up the phone without another word.

What kind of mess was this all about? He feared the worst, though the injury didn't seem as bad as it could have been.

Alan sped to the hospital. He found his oldest son in the ER waiting room with his head in his hands, looking more miserable than Alan had ever seen him. He felt his heart soften and go out to his oldest son.

He walked up to Don, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Donnie?" Alan said softly, waiting for his son to look up at him.

When he did, Alan was surprised at the tears in his son's eyes. He wasn't expecting that.

"They... they think he may lose his eye sight... and it's all my fault."

Don dropped his head back to his hands and his shoulders shook. Alan sank down in the seat next to him, too stunned for words.

**Success! I finally got this chapter up! I thought I never would. I know what you're thinking, "And it was still THAT short?" LOL So sorry! I've been busy and it's taken a while to get everything planned and ready. THANK YOU FRAIDYCAT!**


	2. Tell Me That You'll Open Your Eyes

**Note: Title of previous chapter is taken from the song "Name" by the Goo Goo Dolls. This chapter title is from the song "Open Your Eyes" by Snow Patrol.**

**Thank you all for the wonderful feedback with the first chapter! To let you know, I will be in starting school next week so chapters will slow down with updating. It stinks, I know. I hope I can work out a schedule for what day(s) each week I update so you'll know when to look for a new chapter. Thanks again to FraidyCat for the help with the medical terminology in this chapter and also to my dear friend Julie. I couldn't have done it without you two!**

It was hard for Don to sit there and do nothing, knowing his brother was hurt. He wanted to do something to help, but considering he didn't have much knowledge in the medical field, he knew there wasn't anything he could do that the doctors weren't.

His father's silence bothered him. Don wanted something to take his mind off his brother's injury, how he could lose his vision. It was so hard to not blame himself. If he could talk and keep his mind off of it, maybe the blame wouldn't seem so consuming to his thoughts.

"Um, who called you?" Don asked Alan. He had been surprised when Alan walked in since he had just been planning on calling his father. He was relieved, though, that he didn't have to be the one to break the news to Alan.

"Colby. Tell me, how does one 'quick' stop at a witness' house turn into your brother getting hit in the head with a baseball bat with the threat of losing his vision?"

Don flinched at his father's words, though they weren't spoken angrily. It was the question Don had been asking himself, never knowing an answer. It wasn't supposed to be dangerous. He knew that. Otherwise, he never would have brought his brother with him. Charlie had already been put in danger too many times working with him. Don wouldn't risk another incident. It was supposed to take a few minutes. That was all. He wished he knew the whole story, though he had pieced most of it together, or what he assumed. He had a pretty good feeling that the man who hit Charlie was the one who killed Melissa Thomas. And if that was the case, the man must have been involved in the chain of robberies and shootings. He knew David and Colby would have people looking for his car. If they found his car, they'd find the man who hit Charlie. Don was thankful he wouldn't be there if they brought the man in. He knew he'd regret whatever he did when he saw the man.

"I don't know, Dad. I'm... I'm so sorry. If I had known it was going to be dangerous, I never would have..."

"Don't you think I know that?" Alan turned to his oldest son. "If I thought for one minute that you would purposely put your brother's life in danger, do you really believe I'd let you? Besides, don't you think I would have given you a serious talking to by now?"

Don gave a small smile at his father's attempt at humor. It died on his lips when he saw a doctor walk into the waiting room area.

"Is someone here for Charles Eppes?"

Don shot to his feet, much faster than his father. "I'm his brother."

"And I'm his father." Alan gave Don a look that told him to calm down.

"Hi, I'm Dr. John Smith." In an other situation, Don would have laughed or made a joke. Now, he just shook the doctor's hand.

"How's my son?" Alan asked after he, too, shook the doctor's hand.

"Please, sit." Dr. Smith suggested, gesturing to the chairs they had been occupying. Once seated, the doctor continued.

"We've taken your son back for a CT scan and an MRI. Charles has an optic nerve sheath hematoma, meaning there is a blood clot near the optic nerve in the base of his brain. Also, there is some swelling. Tomorrow we'll remove a piece of Charles' skull, which should cause the pressure to go down. After surgery, to keep the swelling down, we will treat him with high-dose corticosteroid therapy for 48 hours."

"What about his sight?" Don was thankful that his father asked because he felt like someone wedged a wad of cotton balls in his throat.

"We don't know the extent of that damage since he's been unconscious. That is partially because we gave him some Dopamine when he was showing signs of pain and we didn't want him to wake up while he was getting the CT scan or MRI, since we needed him to be still and waking up in there would have been rather frightening. He should be awake soon. We'll see about his sight then and after the surgery and the first 48 hours, we'll continue to monitor his vision. It's possible that he's blind in both eyes right now, or in just one. Keep in mind, though, the condition may not be permanent."

"Thank you, doctor. May we see him now?" Alan asked.

"Yes. Right this way."

The doctor led them to the room Charlie was in.

"Press that button on the wall if he wakes up," Dr. Smith said before leaving.

Alan walked up to Charlie's bedside. he took his son's smaller hand in his and squeezed. It was comforting that Charlie didn't look so sick or injured, except for a few small cuts on his face from where he hit the gravel.

Don hesitatingly walked over to the other side of Charlie's bed.

"I'm so sorry, Buddy," he said as he stroked his brother's arm.

Within ten minutes, Charlie began to stir. Don noticed first when his brother's face scrunched up in pain.

"Sh. You're okay, Buddy." Don laid his hand gently on the side of his little brother's face. Charlie turned into it and his face smoothed out.

"Open your eyes for me, kiddo," Alan said gently, squeezing his son's hand.

Charlie did. His eyes searched the room, back and forth, but never focusing on anything. Don, though still focusing solely on Charlie, reached out and pressed the button to inform the doctor he was awake.

"Why is it so dark? Did the lights go out?"

Alan and Don's eyes met. It was obvious that they both felt the same fear and upset.

"You're in the hospital, Charlie."

"What happened?"

"You were hit with a baseball bat."

Charlie made a face that showed he remembered.

"Then why is it so dark?" Before Charlie's question could be answered, the doctor walked in.

"Hello, Charles. I'm Dr. John Smith."

"That your real name?" Don had to smile at his brother's quick question.

Dr. Smith laughed. "Afraid so. How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit with a baseball bat...Wait. That's exactly what happened."

The doctor laughed again. "It's good to know you still have your sense of humor. Now, Charles-"

"Charlie."

"Charlie. Right. Charlie, what do you see?" The doctor took out a small light and flashed it across Charlie's eyes.

"Black. How is a hospital supposed to be run in the dark?"

Dr. Smith looked at Alan and Don, knowing they hadn't told Charlie yet.

"Charlie, I'm sorry to have to tell you this. Due to the blunt force trauma from being hit with the baseball bat, you have lost your sight. It may not be permanent. We won't know until after we perform surgery tomorrow."

"I'm blind?"

"I'm afraid so."

Charlie's face didn't register any emotions for a while. When it hit him, he reached for his father.

"Dad!" His voice held his panic and fear.

"Sh, sh. It'll be okay." Alan squeezed his son's hand tighter.

"I'll leave you three alone." The doctor walked out.

Charlie reached frantically to find his father's form. Alan leaned down and Charlie grabbed on to Alan in a fierce grip as the sobs built up.

"Sh, sh. You'll be okay. It's going to be okay." Alan soothed as he held Charlie.

Don couldn't take seeing his little brother cry like that. It was too much for him. He made a quick escape out the door.

He wasn't sure where he could go. His stomach decided for him as he felt nausea rise in his throat. Making a quick dash for the nearest bathroom, Don emptied his stomach as his knees buckled and gave out from beneath him.

Don held onto the outer edges of the toilet to keep himself up. When the last of his stomach was purged, he sat back on his heels, leaning heavily against the bathroom stall wall.

How could this be happening? Today was supposed to be a fun and exciting day spent with his little brother. They were just going to go to the batting cages! Don had been excited over the fact that he'd finally be able to teach his brother something, rather than the other way around. Charlie wasn't bad at baseball, but there was more Don could teach him that Charlie didn't know. The idea excited him, as well as getting to spend time with his little brother. He knew how much Charlie appreciated having time with him, and Don liked it, too.

How could something like this happen to his little brother? It was much more likely that it'd happen to him. Don's work was dangerous. Charlie was just a mathematician, an applied mathematics professor. He was supposed to be safe, but because of Don's job, he was put in danger.

Don leaned half his face against the cool metal wall and closed his eyes. He was surprised when moments later his father walked in looking for him.

"Donnie? You in hear?"

Don opened the door so his father knew he was in there. Alan walked up and was surprised to see his oldest son on the floor.

"What's the matter, Donnie? Are you hurt?" he asked as he sat beside his son.

"No."

"Are you sick?"

"Not anymore."

Alan looked to the toilet and then back at Don.

"Oh, Donnie."

Alan reached over and pulled Don into a tight hug. Don sank into it, reveling in his father's comfort.

"It's okay, Donnie. Charlie will be okay."

Don felt himself begin to shake and fought to stop it. Alan tightened his hold on his oldest son, hoping to bring faster comfort to Don.

"Why'd you leave Charlie?" Don asked against his father's chest.

"A nurse walked in and sedated him. He's sleeping right now."

"Is he really going to be okay?"

Don leaned back so he could see his father's eyes. Don knew a liar when he saw one, but now all he saw was honesty and love.

"He's going to be all right, Don. Stop beating yourself up over this." Alan reached out and caressed Don's cheek with his hand.

Don nodded, still not truly believing it, and unable to stop beating himself up over what happened to Charlie.

It was his fault. That's all there was to it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don stayed at Charlie's bedside the entire night. Alan went home late at night to get some sleep. Don didn't sleep. He stayed awake and watched over his brother. The doctors allowed it since Charlie would need assistance if he woke up and needed something. Don would help him any way he could.

Charlie awoke in the middle of the night. The lights were still on brightly, but his blind eyes couldn't tell one way or the other.

"Is anyone there?" Charlie asked meekly, startling Don who was lost in thought.

"I'm right here, Buddy." Don took Charlie's hand to show him he was there.

"Don?"

"Yeah, it's me. Do you need anything?"

Charlie seemed to shrink back fearfully into his pillows. "I'm scared, Don."

Don felt his heart squeeze and he fought tears.

"It's okay, Buddy. You're all right."

"It's so dark."

"I know."

"I don't like the dark."

Thinking of their childhood, Don replied, "You never have."

Charlie smiled slightly. His eyes moved around in a desperate search to see something, but they never found anything but the dark.

"Did he get your car?" Charlie surprised Don by asking.

"Who?"

"The man who hit me."

"Yes."

Charlie was silent a moment. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"Buddy, I don't give a damn about that car. All I care about is that you're okay."

"I'm still sorry. I-I-I tried to stop him. I tried to hit him first, but he caught the bat and took it from me. I hit him, but he hit me back harder. I'm sorry." Charlie's voice had risen in panic.

"Hey, hey, Buddy. Calm down. It's okay. Really. It's all right."

Don stood and leaned over the bed rail and touched Charlie's face. Charlie brought his hands up to touch Don's hand.

"I wish I could see you," Charlie said as he leaned into Don's hand.

"I know. I wish you could, too."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm worried about you, but other than that I'm okay."

"I'm glad he didn't hurt you, too."

Even when he was hurt, Charlie was worrying about Don. It made Don feel guilty.

"Are you blaming yourself?" Don was surprised by how well Charlie knew him.

"Yes," he answered honestly.

"Don't."

"Buddy, how can I not? You never would have been in that situation if it hadn't been for me."

"It was an unlikely event, one you weren't expecting to happen."

"I still feel responsible."

"You shouldn't."

Don sighed. "I can't help it, Buddy."

"Don, promise me you'll forgive yourself. It doesn't have to be today or tomorrow, but please, forgive yourself. I forgive you."

Charlie yawned.

"Why don't you get some more sleep?"

"Okay. You need to, too. What time is it?"

"A little after four."

"In the morning?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you awake? Get some sleep."

"Okay, Buddy." Don smiled.

Charlie settled into the bed and reached out for Don's hand. Don placed it in his brother's hand and felt a squeeze.

"That way I'll know you're here. If you get uncomfortable, you can let go so you can get some sleep. Need a pillow?"

"No. I'm fine where I am."

"Okay. Night, Don."

"Good night, Buddy."


	3. Waiting on Sunshine to Spread Again

**Man, am I good or what? I got this up before school started! YAY! I thought about leaving this for a few days and then posting, but I figured you'd want this ASAP. So here you go!**

Don spent the night awake, holding his brother's hand. Sleep wouldn't come. Don knew Alan and Charlie would be upset, but it wasn't his fault.

Alan arrived at eight-thirty with a thermos of hot coffee and a box of donuts.

"Hey, Don. How's Charlie doing?" Alan asked quietly as he set the stuff down on the only table in the room. He walked over to Charlie's bed and saw his sons' clasped hands. It sent warmth to his heart.

"He slept most of the night. The doctor said they'll be in to prep him for surgery soon. Did you know they're going to have to shave part of his hair?"

"Oh, yeah?" Alan grinned. Charlie would hate that. He'd been pushing him to get a haircut for a while now.

Don nodded, smiling. "Dr. Smith said that his hair should be long enough to cover it up, but he'll have to be careful."

Alan watched his oldest son carefully, catching the tired tone of his voice. He felt some concern.

"Did you get any sleep last night?"

Don shook his head no.

"Oh, Donnie. You should have come home with me."

"No. I mean, it wouldn't have done any good."

Alan sat down on the chair on the opposite side of Charlie's bed that Don was sitting. Facing both sons, he liked being able to see both at once. His main focus now, though, was Don.

"You want some coffee? Donut?"

"Coffee sounds good." Alan began to stand. "No, no. It's okay. I'll get it. You stay put."

Don reluctantly let go of Charlie's hand, which fell limply after Don let go, and walked to the table. He poured the hot coffee into a plastic cup. The donuts held no appeal to him, so he ignored them and returned to his chair.

He took Charlie's hand again.

"Did he wake up last night?" Alan asked Don.

"Yeah, about four in the morning."

"Was he okay?"

"He was a lot calmer than I expected. He seems a little scared, but he's all right."

"That's good to hear." Alan stood and got himself a cup of coffee and a jelly-filled donut. Don watched as his father ate and he felt his stomach churn. Soon Don had to get up and rush to the bathroom. He was thankful that Charlie had his own bathroom because he didn't think he'd make it if it was any farther.

Alan followed at a much slower pace. He tore off a paper towel and ran it under the faucet that was pouring out cold water.

Don leaned back against the counter when he stopped emptying his stomach. He closed his eyes against he misery he felt.

Alan kneeled down and wiped at Don's face with the cool paper towel. He wished he could wipe the pain off his son's face so easily. The furrow to Don's brow showed his fight. He was fighting himself, fighting to forgive himself. And he was losing.

"Don! Dad! Is anyone there?" They heard Charlie frantically ask loudly.

Don stood too fast, wanting to get to his brother as soon as possible, and he was caught by a dizzy spell. He reached out for something to steady himself and found his father's arm worked well. Alan held onto Don to keep him from falling.

"Are you all right?" Alan asked over Charlie's repeated question.

"I need to get to Charlie."

Don got out of Alan's hold and went to his brother.

"Hey, Charlie. It's okay. I'm right here." Don's voice startled Charlie. He hated not being able to see.

Charlie was sitting up in bed. The fear showed plainly on his face. When he heard Don, he reached out for his brother, though hardly knowing where to reach. Don took his brother's outstretched hand. Charlie pulled his brother closer to him. He grabbed onto Don's arm, wrapping his arms around it as though giving it a hug. Charlie pressed the side of his face into Don's biceps.

"Charlie, I'm here, too." Alan reached out and touched Charlie's shoulder. Charlie flinched, not expecting the touch.

"I'm sorry." Alan hadn't meant to scare Charlie. But what other fears must he be facing?

"I-it's okay. You just startled me." Fearfully, he tightened his grip on his brother's arm.

Don brought his other hand around and squeezed Charlie's shoulder.

"It's okay, Buddy. We're right here with you."

"Wh-where were you?"

"We were in the bathroom." Don answered.

"Both of you? At the same time?" Charlie's confusion could be heard plainly in his voice.

"Your brother here has been throwing up."

"Don? Are you all right?" Charlie tilted his head upward, though it didn't make a difference. He still couldn't see.

Don avoided Charlie's face. "It was only twice. Don't worry about me."

"Twice is still two more than usual. What's wrong?"

"Well, lack of sleep for starters," Alan added.

"Don! You were supposed to get some sleep last night. Why didn't you?"

Don was getting uncomfortable under all the attention directed at him. Charlie was the one that was hurt, not him.

"Because I couldn't get any. Can we just drop it?"

"He won't eat any donuts either," Alan informed Charlie.

"Well, not if I'm going to throw it up anyway," Don argued.

"You should eat something, Don," Charlie said.

Having all he could take, Don pulled out of Charlie's embrace. Charlie gasped in surprise and reached out for his brother's arm once more. Only, Don was too far away for him to reach.

"I'm fine. Just back off!" Don said angrily, then went out of the room.

Charlie moved his hands in front of him as he frantically searched for his brother. He whimpered in fear as his hands only touched empty air. Alan moved to Charlie's hands and took one in his. Charlie pulled the hand close and grabbed onto his father's arm, leaning into it.

"You're not Don."

"No. He left."

"Is he mad at me?"

"No. I think he's just mad at himself."

"I wish he wouldn't be. It's not his fault."

"I know. I wish he did, too."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don walked outside the hospital. He wouldn't allow himself to go far away from his little brother, but he needed some fresh air. He found a group of benches just outside the hospital and sank down on one. He didn't get a long time to himself, though.

"Don! I'm glad we caught you. How's Charlie?" Megan asked as she came walking up with Colby at her side.

"Tell me you caught the bastard who did this to him." Don deliberately avoided the question as to how Charlie was doing.

"Yes. The lab identified his finger prints as a set we found at one of the crime scenes. David is working him over in the hopes he'll give the other three guys up. Hopefully, we'll have this one wrapped up by the end of the week."

"Good."

"Now, back to the first question. How's Charlie?" Megan repeated.

Megan sat on the bench beside Don and Colby took a seat on the bench across from theirs.

"He'll be in surgery today."

"Surgery? What kind of surgery?" Colby asked.

"To relieve pressure on his brain."

"Other than that, he's okay, right?" Colby fought for a direct answer.

Megan studied Don closely. She knew whatever else there was it wasn't good.

"Don?" She spoke softly, touching his shoulder.

Don leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees as he buried his face in his hands.

"He's blind. Charlie may never see again and it's all my fault."

Megan gasped, placing her hand over her mouth. Colby felt ready to tear Adam Wess, the man who hit Charlie, a part as anger took over.

"He... he may get his sight back though. Right?" Megan prayed it was so.

"Maybe."

Don rubbed his face.

"I take it you came here for my statement?" Don looked up from his hands.

"Yes. That is, if you're up for it." Megan could see how Charlie's injury was taking its tole on Don. He always blamed himself when things went wrong.

Colby took out a notebook and pen.

"I stopped at Melissa Thomas' house with Charlie. I left him in the car, expecting to be just a minute. I was going to get her statement. When I went to her door, no one answered. The door was slightly ajar, so I let myself in. When I went upstairs, I found her body. I called David and as I went to a window, I saw a man swinging a baseball bat at Charlie's head."

"Adam Wess," Colby informed him.

"We were supposed to be going to the batting cages. When I went outside, Wess was pulling out of the driveway. I took a few shots, but missed. Charlie said he was trying to stop Wess from taking my car when Wess hit him in the head."

"Did he say anything about hitting Wess?" Megan asked, remembering what Adam looked like.

"Yeah. Why?"

Colby grinned. "Well, Wess has a pretty black eye. Looks like Charlie has a hell of a right hook."

Don looked down at his watch.

"Damn it." Don stood.

"What's wrong?" Megan asked.

"Charlie's supposed to be heading into surgery right now. Let me know if there are anymore breakthroughs in the case!"

Don took off running inside the hospital. Knowing the elevator would be too slow for him, he took the stairs two at a time.

He rushed to Charlie's room and felt his heart drop when he found Charlie's bed empty.

"Donnie? Are you all right?" Alan asked when he saw Don at the door.

He wasn't all right. He had been mean to Charlie. He shouldn't have snapped at him. Now he wouldn't get the chance to apologize until Charlie got out of surgery.

"Don?"

Alan rushed to his son's side as Don's legs weakened beneath him.

"Wh-where's Charlie?" Don asked tiredly.

"He's gone back to surgery."

Alan started leading Don toward the elevator, hoping he'd be able to keep Don upright.

"Where are we going?" Don caught on to the direction they were headed.

"We're going home, son."

"No. I-I have to stay with Charlie." Don fought to get out of his father's embrace as they entered the elevator.

"He won't be out for a while, okay? We'll be back before he wakes up. I promise."

The elevator doors closed, keeping Don inside. Alan leaned his son against the wall of the elevator until the doors opened again.

Alan let Don lean on him as they made it out of the hospital.

"Mr. Eppes!" Alan turned at the sound of his name being called. He smiled, relieved, when he saw Megan and Colby walk up to them from the parking lot.

"What are you two doing here?" Alan asked the two agents.

"We just saw Don, but he ran off. Is he okay?" Megan looked at Don, who was barely conscious.

"He didn't sleep last night and he hasn't eaten in a while. Can you help me get him to my car?" Alan directed his question to Colby.

"I'd be glad to, sir."

Colby wrapped one of Don's arms around his shoulder while Alan took the other side.

"Here we go, buddy," Colby said as they started toward Alan's car. Megan led the way to the car and opened the door to let Don in.

"You know, David, Colby and I fought to get to come here. We played Rock, Paper, Scissors. I won first, then Colby. So David was left at the office."

Alan smiled. "It's good to know the three of you care so much about my sons."

Don collapsed into the back seat with a groan. Alan shut the door and started for his side.

"Thank you both for your help. I wasn't looking forward to doing this by myself."

"Anytime, sir. You take care of your boys for me, okay?" Megan said, smiling.

"I will. Thanks again." Alan got into his car, waving to the agents as they moved out of the way.

Alan got Don home a few minutes later. Don woke up when they arrived home and assured Alan that he could make it inside by himself.

Alan went straight to the kitchen and heated up some soup for the two of them, adding something extra to Don's bowl.

"Eat up. You'll need your strength," Alan said as he set the bowl in front of Don.

Don ate his soup in silence. Alan watched him carefully, hoping Don wouldn't notice the change.

When Don was finished, he went to the living room. Alan followed soon after.

"We need to head back soon," Don said, yawning.

"We will."

"I-I have to be there when he wakes up."

"You will be."

"I'm going to lay down for a minute. Tell me when you're ready to leave."

"Okay."

Within minutes, Don was sound asleep. Alan smiled to himself. Maybe he hadn't needed to add the sleeping pills to Don's soup after all.


	4. If Ever I Fall

**This chapter is dedicated to Matt Cappotelli for when he had to get "the worst haircut ever." I hope you're doing well! You're such an inspiration!**

Don woke from a long nap. He was surprised when he found it was already 1:30.

"Dad!" he called, ready to leave for the hospital.

"What's the matter?" Alan walked into the living room, drying his hands with a dish towel, from the kitchen.

"We need to go. Charlie will be waking up any minute."

"All right, all right. Let me finish the dishes." He turned toward the kitchen.

"Daaaaad!" Don whined.

"Don't 'dad' me. It'll take two minutes."

The two minutes were two minutes longer than Don would have liked. He paced the floor in front of the door, wanting to leave immediately. He wondered who'd taken care of his car and when he could get it back. He'd drive himself to the hospital if he didn't have to take his dad's car.

"All right. Let's go."

Don hurried out the door, looking back to make sure his father was following.

Don squirmed in the front seat during ride to the hospital. He wanted to be there with Charlie. He needed a change of clothes, but he wouldn't mention it to anyone unless someone else said something. It would only mean more time away from Charlie.

As if reading his mind, Alan said, "I brought some clothes for you to change into. You left them here a few weeks ago. I figured I'd hang onto them in case you needed them until you noticed they were missing."

"Thanks, Dad."

"No problem."

Once at the hospital, Alan was left in the dust as Don ran up the stairs to Charlie's room. He was saddened to find his brother's room still empty. He stood there, staring inside. Alan soon came up behind him.

"I forgot to tell you. I got a call from a nurse informing me that Charlie's surgery was taking a little longer than expected."

Don felt panic rise in him as he spun around to face his father. "Why? What's wrong?" He feared the answer.

"Nothing, nothing. They said it was normal and Charlie was doing well."

Don sighed with relief as he sank into the chair he'd occupied earlier. Alan set the bag of clothes in front of him.

"Why don't you get a shower before Charlie comes back? Come on, it'll make you feel better."

Don reluctantly complied, making his father promise to knock on the door if Charlie was brought back. Though hesitant at first, Don began to enjoy the warmth from the shower. He felt groggy by the time he got out.

Shortly after Don got out of the shower, Charlie was brought back to his room. He was still under from the anesthesia.

"Let me know when he wakes up," Dr. Smith said, gesturing to the button on the wall.

"We will. Thank you, doctor." Alan looked over at his youngest son. He looked younger when he was asleep.

Don reached over and lifted some of Charlie's hair, revealing the thick lines that had been shaved. It was hidden easily with his longer hair.

"This is definitely the worst haircut he's ever gotten." Don grinned at his father.

Alan laughed. "I've wanted him to get it cut for a while, but not like that."

Don took hold of his brother's right hand, rubbing circles on the top with his thumb.

"I think I'm going to walk around for a bit. I should be back before he wakes up."

"Okay."

Once Alan left, Don leaned on Charlie's pillows, trying to take up as little as possible. Soon he was asleep again.

* * *

Charlie woke up frightened. It took him a while before he remembered where he was, though he wasn't sure since he couldn't see. It wasn't as dark as before. Instead he saw a faint grayish color. He wasn't sure if he was alone or not, but assumed he was when no one spoke to him. However, he wanted to make sure. 

"Dad? Don? Anyone?" Charlie asked loudly.

Extending his search, he reached out his hands in front of him.

Don was sound asleep when he felt someone touching the top of his head. Gasping loudly, he shot up, screaming.

"Ah!" Charlie screamed when what he was touching moved and spoke. He backed up on his bed, further away from whatever it was.

"It's okay! It's okay. It's just me, Charlie," Don said when he realized he'd scared Charlie.

Charlie fought to calm his racing heart. "D-Don?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Buddy. You startled me, that's all."

"Wh-what were you doing in here?" Charlie tried to stop shaking.

"I was asleep."

Charlie smiled. "Good."

Don reached over and pressed the button to inform the doctor Charlie was awake.

"What'd you do?" Charlie sensed the movement, but didn't recognize it.

"I pressed a button on the wall that tells the doctor you're awake."

"Oh."

The doctor walked in soon after.

"Hello, Charlie. How are you feeling?"

"Okay. A little groggy, but okay."

"That's good to hear. Your surgery went well. Tell me, are there any changes to your vision?"

"Um, yeah. It's not so black anymore. Now it's more gray."

"Good! That's excellent. Let me try something."

Don watched as the doctor moved toward to doorway and stopped at the light switches. He turned the lights off silently.

"What do you see now?"

"It looks black again." Charlie frowned.

"And now?" Dr. Smith turned the lights back on.

"It's grayish."

"Good. Charlie, when you saw the black, the lights were off and when you saw gray they were on. That's a good sign of improvement considering you just got out of surgery not so long ago. I hope that with each day your sight will improve."

"Me, too." Charlie smiled shyly.

"I'm sure you do. You'll have to stay here for the next 48 hours for the mega-dose corticosteroid therapy. Then you'll have to come in every three days so we can monitor your progress."

"Okay."

"All right. Get some more rest."

The doctor left the room.

"Is he gone?" Charlie asked Don.

"Yeah, he left."

"Where's Dad?"

"I'm not sure, Buddy. He went for a walk, but I haven't seen him since."

Charlie leaned back on his bed heavily. It was a relief to know that his vision was improving. But he was scared because of what he didn't tell the doctor.

"Don?"

"Yeah, Buddy?"

"Will you give me your hand?"

Don smiled softly and laid his hand in Charlie's.

Charlie grasped his brother's hand tightly. Don scooted his chair closer and Charlie took hold of Don's arm again.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, Buddy."

"It's okay. Are you still mad at yourself?"

"Yes," Don answered honestly.

"I figured."

Charlie leaned his head on his brother's shoulder. He felt a shudder pass through him.

"Don?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"I'm scared." Charlie tightened his hold on his brother.

Don felt his heart squeeze.

"I won't let anything happen to you. I'm right here."

It wasn't that something else would happen that scared Charlie. He was only seeing gray in his right eye. What he was afraid of was that he wouldn't gain his sight back in his left eye.

* * *

Charlie fell asleep on Don's shoulder. Don couldn't help but smile at his little brother. He rested his head atop Charlie's curls. He was surprised when his father walked in. 

"Dad! Where have you been? I thought you were just going for a walk."

"I was, but I decided to go home for a few minutes. Oh, and I stopped by your apartment."

"My apartment? What for?"

Alan tossed a bag to Don. Don opened it up and looked inside, pleased to find two changes of clothes, a razor, and a pillow.

"Thanks, Dad." Don smiled gratefully up at his father.

Alan noticed Charlie was sound asleep on Don's left shoulder.

"Did he wake up?"

Don smiled as he looked at his brother.

"Yeah. He was up for a little while."

"And? How was his vision?"

Don smiled bigger thinking of the high possibility that Charlie might get his full vision back. It seemed it was becoming more likely.

"He could tell when the light was on and when it wasn't. Dr. Smith said that's a good sign."

Alan grinned with pleasure. "That's wonderful! See? You have nothing to beat yourself up over."

"Well, Dad, he's not out of the woods, yet."

"I know, I know. But I'm sure he's going to be back to his old self soon."

"I hope so."

* * *

Don didn't leave the hospital the rest of the time Charlie was there. Charlie's vision gradually improved until he was able to see "tunnel vision." Don and Alan were both there when he was supposed to go home. 

Charlie requested a moment alone with Dr. Smith. Alan and Don waited in the lobby for Charlie to be brought down to them.

"You wanted to speak to me, Charlie?" Dr. Smith asked when he walked into Charlie's room and shut the door behind him.

Charlie's vision was so limited that he had to move his head around a lot to see certain areas. He could hardly see the doctor's whole face. It was getting on his nerves being able to see, but not enough.

"Yes, I have a confession to make to you, but I must be sure that doctor-patient-confidentiality will be enforced still."

"Of course. What is it?"

Charlie took a deep breath. "I can't see out of my left eye."

"At all?" Dr. Smith was surprised, though he had suspected Charlie was stretching his vision's improvement. That was normal, though.

"No. I was hoping it would catch up with my right eye's progression but... well, it hasn't."

"I'm sorry to hear that. A final call won't be made for 3 months as to the permanency of your blindness. Give it time. It is still possible that you'll regain your vision in that eye."

"I hope so. Don't say anything to my brother or father, but especially not Don."

"As always, the confidentiality is kept. But, if I may ask, why don't you want them to know?"

"Don blames himself for my injury. If he knew I may not get my sight back in one eye, it would make him feel that much guiltier. And I don't want Dad to have to keep such a big secret from Don. Besides, if he knew he'd baby me even more than he already will." Charlie chuckled.

Dr. Smith smiled. "Your family is very close. There aren't many who are as close as you are. It's refreshing to see a family who cares so much."

Charlie beamed. "Thank you."

Dr. Smith stood and took the wheelchair from the corner of the room.

"Shall I take you to them now?"

"Yes, please."

With the help of Dr. Smith, Charlie made it into the wheelchair. Dr. Smith brought him down to the lobby, Charlie already been signed out.

Don turned and smiled when he saw Dr. Smith and Charlie coming.

"Dad," Don got his father's attention.

When Alan turned, Don nodded in the direction Charlie and Dr. Smith were coming from. Alan's face lit up when he saw his youngest son. He was thrilled with the prospect of bringing Charlie home.

"Ready to go home, Buddy?" Don asked when they came up to them.

"Yeah."

Don gave his brother a hand getting up. Charlie latched onto his older brother's arm so he could lead him.

"I'll see you Friday, Charlie," Dr. Smith said.

"Bye."

"Let's head home." Alan started to the door.

Don walked slowly to the door. Alan had already brought the car around so they didn't have far to go. Don looked down at his little brother and noticed that his eyes were closed.

"Why do you have your eyes closed, Buddy?"

"I, uh, it gives me a headache, only seeing so much at a time."

"Okay." Don frowned. He figured Charlie would want to look around. It was bad enough he wasn't supposed to get on his computer for two weeks. Why cut out looking around outside, too?

Charlie opened his eyes when he got to the car so he could see to get in. It was hard, though. He hated how little he could see and how much he had to depend on others for help.

Don planned to go to the office after he saw Charlie home. He'd told the agents to have his SUV brought to Charlie's house when they were done with it. He'd gotten a call yesterday saying that it would be there waiting on him.

Alan pulled into their driveway. He was happy that Charlie would be back home. Though he didn't like seeing Charlie hurt or barely seeing, he was glad that he'd be able to doctor his son for once.

Charlie waited on Don to help him out. He misinterpreted the edge of the car and fell forward. Don caught him before he stumbled forward.

"I've got you, Buddy. You all right?" Don looked down at Charlie's face full of surprise. Charlie's pulse raced with the jolt.

"I'm fine." Charlie straightened and waited for Don to start walking as he took his brother's arm again.

"Where to?" Don asked when they were inside the home.

"Bed," Charlie replied. He'd missed his own bed, though he hadn't lost any sleep with the one from the hospital.

Don laughed. "Okay. Take it easy on these steps, though."

Don and Charlie went slowly up the stairs without any incidents. Charlie loved the limited sight of his room. He felt at home.

Don led him to the bed. Once there, Charlie sat down, and then laid back.

"Comfy?" Don asked, smiling widely.

"Yes. Thanks for taking me home and for staying at the hospital with me. It... it means a lot to me."

Don took Charlie's hand and squeezed, feeling a tightening in return.

"Anytime, Buddy."

"Where are you off to now?"

"The office."

"Okay. I'll see you later."

Don smiled. "Yes... Yes, you will." Don couldn't explain how much that meant to him.

If he only knew.


	5. Misery Loves Me

**This chapter's title comes from the song "Dance Dance" by Fall Out Boy. The previous chapter's title came from "When You Say Nothing At All" by Alison Krauss. The one before that came from a poem I wrote. **

Charlie couldn't stand the boredom he felt. He'd found that sleeping helped pass the time, but even that got old fast. It was his second day home and he was already bored. He wasn't supposed to read, watch tv, or get on his computer. None of those things would have been real easy for him with his limited vision anyway, but anything to help pass the time would have been an improvement.

His father had insisted he stay in bed yesterday. Charlie hadn't minded since he was tired anyway and he knew his father enjoyed getting to help him in any way possible. Now, though, he wanted to move. He hadn't been downstairs since he'd arrived home. He hoped a change in scenery would be better.

"Dad! Dad!" Charlie called his father. He called again a moment later when there was no response. When his calls still went unanswered, Charlie gave up and stood from his bed. He ventured to the door of his room cautiously, only stubbing his toe on the bedpost. He walked outside his room and to the top of the stairs. He felt a moment of fear, wondering if he dared to go down them alone.

Alan was casually walking by the bottom of the stairs when he noticed his youngest son standing at the top. Feeling a moment of panic, he stopped in his tracks.

"Charlie! Stay right where you are!" Alan flew up the steps, taking them two at a time.

"Hi, Dad," Charlie said when his father made it to the top.

Alan huffed a sigh, out of breath from his rush up the stairs. "What do you think you're doing up? You should have called me if you wanted to come downstairs."

"I did. You never came."

"Still! That's no excuse for you to get up and try to go down the steps by yourself. Don't you know how dangerous it is?"

"I'm fine, Dad. I wasn't even sure I was going to go down."

"Well, I would hope you'd have enough sense not to."

Getting that out of his system, Alan took a deep breath.

"So, where to?"

"I was thinking the living room."

"The living room it is then."

Alan took hold of his son's arm and the two slowly made their way down the steps. When they made it to the living room, Alan turned off the tv.

"Dad, what do you think I can actually do to pass time down here?" Charlie asked his father.

"I don't know. I'm sure you'll think of something, though." He moved to the window and shut the curtains so the sun wouldn't shine through.

Alan was wrong. By lunch time, Charlie had gotten on his last nerve. Charlie couldn't find any way to entertain himself. So he tried breaking the rules by getting on his computer for "just a minute." Luckily, Alan had heard as the computer turned on before Charlie could do anything. Then Charlie tried getting up and walking around for a few minutes. If his bruised elbow was any indication, it didn't work out too well. Having broken two rules already, he spent the rest of the time calling for his father and making him talk to him a while, when Alan wanted to get some work done. Charlie went back upstairs after lunch and stuck with sleeping. He was relieved when his brother came over later for supper. Having not seen his brother since early the day before, Don went straight to his brother upon arrival.

"Hey, Buddy!" Don greeted his younger brother as he stepped through the door. Charlie was sitting up in bed, working numbers in his head to pass time. He was glad to have a better distraction.

"Hey, Don," Charlie said quietly as he struggled to watch Don come closer. He noticed his brother was carrying a bag and he wondered about the contents. Charlie was thankful that Don sat on his right side.

"What's in the bag?" he asked when Don chose to just grin at him like a fool.

"I was hoping you'd ask that." Don took the bag and dumped the contents onto Charlie's lap.

"We have a deck of cards," he held it up for Charlie to see, "a bouncy ball for you to toss against the ceiling until it gets on Dad's nerves." Don stopped when Charlie laughed. "Also, I brought you a notebook and a few pens. And, my personal favorite." Don took out a bell and rang it, earning another laugh from Charlie.

"Oh, yeah. That's my favorite, too. I'm sure Dad will love it."

Don chuckled. "I'm sure he will."

"So what's new?"

"In the past 24 hours? Not much. Everyone at the office is asking about you. Megan thinks I'm lying to her when I say you're okay. She won't believe it until she sees you for herself, so you'll have to come in some time or I'll bring her over."

"Sure." Charlie nodded.

Don took a good look at his younger brother, hoping to catch some sign of how he was really feeling.

"You okay?"

"Me? I'm fine.""

"You sure? It must have been hard being cooped up all day." He fought to draw an answer from his little brother.

"I think I got on Dad's last nerve, but, other than that, it's been pretty uneventful. I'm okay with that, though."

Charlie looked at Don closely, as his brother had looked at him a moment before, looking for signs of self abuse.

"How, um, how are you? Have you forgiven yourself?"

Don paused before answering, taking a moment to think about his answer. He scooted closer to his brother on the bed.

"I...I have, I guess. Knowing that your vision should come back fully makes me feel a lot better, but, Charlie...I don't think I'll ever truly get over it. I saw you hurt...badly. And then I got the news that you may never see again. That... that's something I could never forgive myself for, and I wouldn't have blamed you if you wouldn't either." Seeing the protest on his brother's face, Don held up a hand to silence him. This needed to be said.

"I know you say it wasn't my fault, but it was. As soon as I saw Melissa Thomas' body, I should have assumed that her killer was still around. I didn't think. I should have sent Colby or David to question her. I wasn't even on duty. You should never have been there that day. This should never have happened. If it wasn't for me, it wouldn't. And for that... I'm sorry."

Charlie swallowed the emotions that clogged his throat. He believed Don had stopped beating himself up over his injury. But the fact that he still couldn't see out of his left eye - and may never - scared him. What if Don knew? It would kill him. That's why he couldn't tell Don the truth.

"It's okay, Don. Really," Charlie answered hoarsely.

Don leaned into his brother until his forehead rested on Charlie's.

"I'm sorry," Don repeated.

Charlie wrapped his arms around his older brother, this time being the one to give comfort. Don sank into his brother's arms, shaking as he fought for control.

Alan walked in then. He stopped, though, when he saw his sons embracing. He heard Charlie say, "I forgive you" to Don and it made Alan smile. He leaned against the doorframe. When his sons moved out of the embrace and took notice of him, he stepped closer and sat on the edge of Charlie's bed beside Don.

"Are you finally forgiving yourself?" Alan asked Don, assuming that was what the conversation had been about.

"Yeah, Dad," he replied to his father.

"Good." Alan took hold of Don's head and brought it down to his face as he kissed his oldest son's forehead.

"You're too hard on yourself." Alan ruffled Don's hair.

"Yeah, I hate that about him," Charlie put in.

"Whoa, there, Buddy. I already have one on my case. I don't need you gangin' up on me, too." Don laughed.

"Come on. Supper's ready." Alan stood and headed for the door, knowing Don would take care of Charlie, as always.

Charlie took hold of Don's arm once he stood. Don led him outside his room. Charlie put full trust in his brother. He knew he could always count on Don to protect him.

* * *

The next day went slowly again for Charlie. He worked on the deck of cards, playing solitaire a few times and worked out the sums off all the cards together. It was too easy for him, even when he used multiplication instead. So he tossed the bouncy ball up and down. It didn't last long, though, when he overthrew it and it bounced to the floor. He couldn't see well enough to find it, so he sat, bored, on his bed. He had slept past breakfast and had already eaten lunch. He figured it was about time to move around, so he rang the bell. 

When Alan never came, Charlie stood. He walked to his personal bathroom, bumping into something three times along the way. He washed his hands and rinsed his face. Leaving the bathroom, he headed toward his window. He looked out. His vision hadn't improved much since he'd gotten home and it frustrated him. He saw a car pass by. "Something I can't do right now," Charlie thought to himself bitterly. Someone else mowed their lawn a few houses down, yet another thing he couldn't do by himself.

It struck him hard how limited his independence was. He wasn't supposed to walk around by himself even to prevent hurting himself. Charlie hadn't been fully dependent on anyone for many years. Once given independence, he ran with it. Now, though, he wasn't allowed to move outside his room alone.

Feeling frustrated, he leaned against the wall, and then slumped down onto the floor. He rested his head against the bedpost as tears fell freely down his face. He hated his situation. He hated not being able to see clearly. He hated having to depend on his father or brother for simple tasks. He hated not telling Don about his left eye. He hated he'd never got to spend the time with his older brother. Now, what good would he be?

Charlie sat in misery on the floor, allowing the tears to take him away.

* * *

Don came over early to keep his brother company. He found his father out trimming the bushes when he arrived. 

"Hey, Dad!" Don called as he walked up to him.

"Oh, hi, Donnie."

"Is Charlie in his room?"

"Yes. I don't know what all you gave him - besides that damn bell - but it must be entertaining. I've barely heard a word out of him, contrary to yesterday."

Don smiled. "That's great. I'm going to head up to see him."

"Okay. You boys have fun."

Don jogged up the steps happily. He felt better after yesterday's conversation with Charlie. He knew his brother would be okay and that helped him stop beating himself up over getting Charlie hurt in the first place.

Don's thought was proven wrong when he opened the door to Charlie's room and found his little brother crying on the floor. Little did Don know, Charlie had been sitting there for over thirty minutes.

"Charlie!" Don rushed to his little brother. He sank onto the floor in front of Charlie, scanning for any visible injuries. Don assumed it was an inner turmoil that was causing so much pain, pain that showed clearly on Charlie's face.

Charlie took no notice of Don, having his eyes closed and sorrow ringing in his ears. He couldn't breathe as he was drowning in his own misery. Don noticed the change in breathing and he grabbed his little brother's hand in comfort.

"Charlie, look at me. Look at me!" Don ordered.

Charlie faintly heard his brother's voice above the cries of anguish. He looked forward and could make out Don's face through the blur of tears. He reached out gingerly and touched his brother's face.

"D-Don," Charlie whispered weakly.

"I'm right here, Buddy. I'm not going anywhere."

Don was relieved to hear his brother's voice. He didn't know what was wrong, but he hoped he could help.

Charlie felt as though someone was pushing him down into pain. It was the only explanation for why that was all he felt that he could think of. He'd been fine before, hadn't he? What had changed? His earlier frustration returned and Charlie groaned at the remembrance.

"Charlie?" Don questioned after hearing the noise.

Charlie broke free of the agony a moment to look to his brother once more. He found Don's worried gaze on him.

"Not your fault," Charlie whispered before choking on a sob.

"Buddy, what's wrong?"

"My life."

Charlie drew up his knees to his chest and hugged his legs tightly against him. He rocked back and forth, fighting demons in his head that told him he'd never see again and that he'd be useless because of it. Charlie believed what the demons said, though he tried not to. He was oblivious to how this was scaring his brother.

Don acted as his warrior. He broke through the demons and got to Charlie. All it took was a tight squeeze to the shoulder and the comforting words, "you'll be okay."

Charlie blinked against the tears so he could focus on looking at Don.

"Buddy? You okay?" Obviously, he was not.

"Don." Charlie reached out to his brother.

"Don." The words felt right on his tongue. It held protection, reassurance, love.

Charlie felt the floor leave the bottom of his feet and for a moment he felt weightless. He felt softness beneath him then warmth spread across his body. He shifted a little as what he lay on sank as someone else joined him. He felt an arm go around him. He knew that arm, recognized it as his brother's. Charlie moved close to the body next to him and laid his head on his brother's shoulder.

Closing his eyes, he surrendered to peace.

Don watched his brother worriedly. He wasn't sure what was wrong, but he didn't want to leave his brother alone, even when Charlie fell  
asleep. Alan walked in soon after. Seeing Don's worried expression, Alan feared something was wrong.

"What is it?" he asked.

Don shrugged. "I don't know. I came in here and he was on the floor crying. He never gave me a real response. Half the time I wasn't sure he knew I was there or who I was."

"How strange." Alan frowned. What could have bothered Charlie so much?

Don spent the night by Charlie's side. Alan even brought him his supper up there. Charlie never woke up, though he gave a few whimpers. Don worried about him, wondering what had caused so much pain.

Around midnight, Don got up to get another pillow, knowing he'd spend the night there with Charlie. He stopped, though, when he heard a loud, high-pitched whimper come from Charlie. Charlie reached out to where Don had just lain as he whimpered like a young puppy without his mother. He tangled the sheets, frantically searching for Don with his eyes still closed.

Don moved back toward the bed and sat down. Charlie found his hand and he held on tightly.

"Don't leave! Stay... please," Charlie begged.

"Okay," Don replied as he got back in bed.

"Don't leave me," Charlie's words sounded light and sleepy.

"I'm here."

"Don't leave." Charlie clutched to Don's arm.

"Sh." Don brushed at Charlie's hair soothingly until Charlie fell asleep once more.

Don wondered if he'd be able to leave in the morning for work.


	6. Catching Teardrops in My Hand

Don woke the next morning feeling something dampening his shirt. He opened his eyes, blinking a few times to clear the fog from sleep. He looked down and saw his little brother's face resting against his chest. Though his eyes were closed, as if in sleep, tears spilled down his face.

"Charlie? Buddy, you awake?" Don asked, feeling a moment of deep concern for his brother. When he got no response, he assumed Charlie was asleep.

Don turned to the side to read Charlie's digital clock. He knew he had to get up, considering it was 6:30. He just hoped that Charlie would let him.

Don lightly slipped out of Charlie's bed. Charlie groaned as his head hit the mattress. Seeing that his brother was still asleep, Don pulled his little brother up so that Charlie's head was once again on the pillow.

Don proceeded to get ready, using Charlie's shower. He was thankful that he still had a nice outfit here, knowing he couldn't wear yesterday's outfit again. When he got out of the shower, Charlie was still asleep where Don had left him. Charlie was crying more now and Don noticed the methodical way he seemed to search the bed beside him with his hands. Feeling his heart go out to his little brother, he sat down on the bed.

"I have to go now, Buddy," Don said as he reached out to take one of Charlie's hands. Charlie seemed to recognize the touch.

"Don," he mumbled quietly.

"I have to go." Don took his hand away and Charlie cried out in protest, still asleep. Once again, he searched for his brother.

"I'll be back later, okay?" Don reached out and brushed at Charlie's curls with his hand. Charlie seemed to calm under the touch. Don continued the movement until his little brother seemed calmer. Once calmed, he left Charlie's room.

Alan had been watching the stairs repeatedly for one or both of his sons to come down. He knew Don had to get to work, so he wasn't surprised when he saw him come down alone.

"How is he?" Alan asked before Don was even down the steps.

"Okay, I guess... for now, at least. Dad, um, would you mind staying with him? I-I really don't want him to wake up alone."

"Sure, sure. You want some breakfast? I can make you something if you like."

"No, I need to get to work. Just... take care of Charlie, okay?"

"Don't I always?"

Don smiled as he stood in front of his father. "Yeah, Dad. You do."

Alan took his oldest son in his arms. "You worry too much."

"I know. I'll see you later, okay? Doesn't Charlie have a checkup today with Dr. Smith?"

"Yeah. I hope he can make it."

"I hope so, too. Let me know how it goes."

"I will."

"All right. I'll see you later, Pop." Don headed out the door as Alan gave him a slight wave.

He was about to go get a cup of coffee to bring with him to Charlie's room when the phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Hello, Mr. Eppes. This is Larry Fleindhart. I was calling to check on Charles. I was quite concerned when I found out that he'd be taking such an extended period of time off. I hope it's nothing serious."

Alan sighed. "Yes. I'm afraid it is serious, Larry. He, um, he was hit with a baseball bat." Alan paused at Larry's sharp intake of breath. "And it left him blinded."

"Oh, my lord."

"Thankfully, he has been improving with his vision. The doctors are hopeful that he will make a full recovery and will get his vision back completely."

Larry breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, we can all be thankful for that. May I come visit him some time?"

"Of course, Larry. You're one of his closest friends, but, uh... now isn't a really good time. He's having a lot of problems. I'd wait a while."

"That's perfectly understandable. Shall I pass along the news to Amita?"

"Yes, please."

"Okay. Send him my best wishes."

"I will, Larry. Thank you for calling."

"Bye."

"Good bye."

Alan hung up the phone and returned to making himself a cup of coffee. He took it and the newspaper up to Charlie's room. He sat down on the bed beside Charlie. He hadn't been there long when he felt his son grab his arm, surprising him.

Alan looked down and saw Charlie was still asleep. Charlie moaned slightly and slid closer to Alan, who couldn't help but smile down at his youngest son. He wrapped his arm around his son's shoulder, rubbing circles on his son's upper arm.

Almost an hour later, Charlie began to wake. Alan noticed when his son began to stir. Charlie let go of his arm and turned to lay on his back. Alan watched his son until he was frightened to find tears coming down his son's face.

"Charlie? Charlie, are you all right?" he asked as he turned toward his son more.

Charlie opened sad eyes to his father. Alan could see how unfocused they were, how they never truly locked on to him. Charlie must have recognized the fact that he was next to him because he closed his eyes once more.

"Dad," he croaked.

"I'm right here, son."

Charlie turned his head on the pillow so that his left cheek couldn't be seen against the pillow.

"Why is this happening to me?" he whispered with his eyes still closed.

"Oh, my boy. This wasn't your fault. You didn't deserve this. It was just an accident. This isn't your punishment for something you did wrong."

"It's because I didn't spend enough time with Mom, isn't it?"

Alan felt his eyes fill with tears also at his son's words. As much as he'd disapproved of the three months Charlie spent away from his mother, Alan now understood why. And knowing that his wife did, too, he was able to easily forgive his son. It was obvious that Charlie hadn't forgiven himself, though.

Alan pressed his hand against Charlie's cheek. Charlie leaned into his father's hand heavily.

"No. No, son. That's not it at all. These things just... happen. You weren't chosen because of something you couldn't help. Besides, your mother never, ever blamed you. She understood... and so do I now."

Charlie lay quietly as he kept his face pressed against Alan's hand. Alan brushed at Charlie's eyelids lightly with his thumb, feeling his son's damp eyelashes and cheek. Moments later, Charlie opened his eyes again.

"I can't stand this, Dad. I hate it so... so much."

"Oh, Charlie." Alan quickly brought Charlie into his arms. He held onto his son tightly, wanting to absorb the pain his son was feeling, though still knowing he could not. He swayed back and forth on the bed, not knowing it was the same thing Don had done with Charlie the night before. They both did it by the same example. Only, Alan found that only Margaret could do it to the point of taking away any pain.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don had trouble keeping his mind off his brother throughout the day. Megan, ever observant, was the only one to notice his mind was elsewhere today.

"Don? You okay?" she asked as she stood in the doorway of his office.

"Hmm? Yeah, I'm fine, Megan."

"Something's definitely bothering you, though. What's up?" She took a seat, though not granted permission to come inside, and waited for Don to spill.

"It's... it's nothing. Just, Charlie had a rough night last night."

"Well, that's to be expected, isn't it?"

"It was the worst I'd seen it. He seemed to be doing fine the whole time until last night. It just seemed to... hit him, you know? I don't know. Maybe it was just a one-time thing. Maybe he's okay," Don mused out loud.

"Well, Charlie can't really be considered 'okay.' He's visually impaired. You can't expect that to be easy on him."

"I don't. That's how he made it look. He just seemed to take it in stride. He was pretty bored, but his vision didn't seem to bother him at all."

"He could have been covering his emotions, which you do so well."

"Too personal, Reeves."

"This is a personal conversation, sir." Megan raised an eyebrow.

Don couldn't help but smile, though it didn't look too professional. He got too close to his team members, though you couldn't come so close to death together and not become close. It was a pretty natural thing. It was only wrong when they took that closeness and used it against you. Like Megan, no matter how much good she intended.

"It's okay, Don. I understand. Just, try to think on it like this: even if he's not showing you something, it doesn't mean it's not there." With that, she stood to leave.

Don shook his head. She always knew how to leave with an end note that got you thinking. He hoped that he would still be able to see what Charlie wasn't showing.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charlie requested some time alone before he'd have to go to the hospital for his checkup. Alan finally reluctantly left him alone. He needed time to clear his mind and to get a grip on his emotions that seemed to be running wild.

He couldn't quite explain what had happened. It was as though a dam had broken inside him, spilling his emotions from his body. He didn't want to come across as the cry baby he looked like. It was just... hard, maybe harder than he had let himself believe it to be. He didn't like it. He hated being so limited on independency. He couldn't stand not being able to read or get on his laptop. His mail was probably overflowing with messages. He'd have to have Don or Alan look through them for him. It would be awkward having his family get into the private area of his life. Somehow Charlie would just have to learn to live with it and hope that nothing too personal would be seen.

Charlie decided he was prepared enough to go to the doctor's office. He noticed the worried glances his father kept passing his way in the car, felt Alan's frightened gaze on his back when he wanted to go back alone.

The checkup went well as far as Charlie could tell.

"So how are you dealing with this emotionally? I've already talked to one of our hospital's psychiatrists if you'd like to set up an appointment with him," Dr. Smith surprised him by saying.

"Psychiatrist? I don't need a psychiatrist."

Dr. Smith smiled warmly. "Charlie, no one expects you to be okay with this. It wouldn't look weak if you chose to seek psychiatric help."

"I-I wouldn't see that as being weak. I honestly believe I don't need help... Are we done here?"

"Of course. You may go. I'll see you in a few days."

"Fine." Charlie stood and walked quickly to the door. However, he hadn't seen a chair in his path and he stumbled over it.

Dr. Smith caught his arm, but Charlie quickly pulled out of his grip.

"I can do this on my own."

"How silly of me. What would make me think you need help? You're only 75 percent blind."

Charlie did not appreciate the doctor's sarcasm. He stomped out of the room and went to find his father. Alan stood as soon as he saw Charlie come in. He reached out to take his son's arm, but Charlie wouldn't let him help.

"I'm fine, Dad," he barked.

So Alan walked on, though still lingering cautiously close. Even so, he wasn't prepared when Charlie ran into the doorway of the exit, hitting the left side of his face.

"Damn it," Charlie cursed as he placed a hand over the injured area.

"Are you all right?" Alan removed the hand from Charlie's face.

"Ow," he protested.

"Let me look." Already a goose egg was breaking out on Charlie's forehead.

"We should probably let Dr. Smith look at that while we're here."

"No! It's fine. I just want to go home. Please."

Seeing the desperation in his son's eyes, Alan consented. He walked closer to Charlie to make sure no further injury came to him.

Charlie went back up to his room when they got home after Alan gave him an ice pack for his head. He said that he was tired from the day's events. Once he was upstairs, Alan called Dr. Smith since the only thing Charlie would tell him was he was coming along as best he could.

"Dr. Smith? This is Alan Eppes."

"Hello, Mr. Eppes. I just saw Charlie. I assume he had a ride home?"

"Yes. I was his ride, in fact. I was wondering what you could tell me about my son's progress. I'm afraid my son was more than a little vague."

"Well, his vision is still gradually improving. His progress is still normal, as well as can be expected."

"No setbacks?"

"None that I can see." There was something about the doctor's tone that sent up warning signs to Alan. Dr. Smith was leaving something out. Alan was sure of it.

"Doctor, I believe there is something you're not telling me."

Dr. Smith sighed. "I am not at liberty to discuss that with you."

"I'm his father! I have a right to know about my son!"

"Not when doctor-patient confidentiality is enforced. I'm sorry, Mr. Eppes, but if you want answers you'll have to get them from your son. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to work."

"Fine. Good day, Dr. Smith."

"Good-bye."

Alan next gave Don a quick phone call to explain Charlie was still progressing well. Don felt immediate relief at the news and promised to come over again that night after he picked up some necessities from his apartment. Alan was glad he left out the suspicion that there was something else wrong with Charlie, or at least something he wasn't telling them. He would not put that fear on Don, even though Alan knew his oldest son had a knack for getting the truth out of his little brother. Alan still couldn't use that. He'd have to protect Don from the truth and hope, in time, that he would get the truth out of Charlie.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charlie woke up with a hiss as he felt someone touch the tender bump on his forehead.

"Gosh, Buddy, that looks awful," he heard his brother say.

Turning to lay on his back, he looked up at Don.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey." Don smiled. "How'd your appointment go?"

"Damn doctor doesn't know what he's talking about." Charlie turned on his side again.

"What makes you say that?" Don sat down on the edge of the bed.

"He said I need a psychiatrist."

Don wasn't sure how to respond to that. Honestly, he had thought the same thing. But it was apparent that Charlie didn't agree.

"What would it hurt?"

"It would hurt my wallet, for one. I don't need a psychiatrist to tell me what I already know. I'm fine by myself."

"If money is an issue, I'll pay for it."

"No, Don! I don't _need_ a psychiatrist! You know I can afford it fine by myself. Money is never the issue here. I just don't want to have to go talk to some idiot who just sits there and listens while I talk about my 'feelings.' I don't need that. I can work on that on my own."

Charlie turned on his left side, wincing as his head hit the pillow. He just didn't want to be facing his brother because tears of anger were starting to form and he had cried enough already.

"Buddy, I didn't mean to upset you." Don laid a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Dad just wanted me to come up to tell you it's time to eat, if you want any."

"I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure? I could bring something up if you don't want to get up."

"I'm fine."

Don nodded and stood. "Okay, Buddy."

He walked out the door, feeling more worried about Charlie than when he'd come in.

_Why is it so hot? Every where I feel it. I can hardly see in front of me, but I know I'm surrounded by fire. I take a cautious step forward and feel the flame burn my skin. I jump out of the way, only to get burned on the other side. I don't dare move on when I finally feel the fire stop burning me. I rub the tender flesh that has been burned as it throbs with pain. How am I going to get out of this one?_

_"Charlie! Help!" I hear Don's voice calling me. I turn my head all around, trying to see where my brother is. Knowing I cannot, I have to just trust in his voice and follow the sound of it._

_I take another step forward and feel the fire burn me. I walk quickly, hoping that I can keep from getting burned so badly this way._

_"Charlie! Oh, God, help! It hurts! Oh, it hurts!" Don's cries because more anguished and pained. Charlie feels a moment of panic and feels his adrenaline rush, making him move faster._

_He gets to the area that would make sense for Don to be. But Don must be moving. He hears his brother's voice call for him again, only it's in the opposite direction._

_"Help! Help! I'm going to die! Charlie, anyone, help!"_

_"I'm coming Don!" he screams, hoping to reassure his brother, though he is starting to believe he'll never make it to his brother in time._

_He moves faster and faster, crying as his flesh is scorched. As he seems to be in the right place to find Don, the cries from his brother stops. Fearing he's too late, he moves in a circle, frantically searching, but barely seeing anything._

_Then, suddenly, Don appears before him, looking almost ghostlike. His brother's body is red, burned everywhere. If he wasn't so close to his brother, he probably wouldn't have recognized him._

_"You were too late."_

_"What? No! I'm here."_

_"You're too late. I'm already dead."_

_"No! No! No!" Charlie screams._

Waking up in a sweat with tears running down his face, Charlie sat up quickly and screamed, "Don!" until it seemed to echo off the walls.

Knowing he must reach his brother, Charlie quickly got out of bed and rushed for the door. He tripped over a shoe that was in the middle of the floor, hitting the floor hard. Not taking time to stop and wallow in his pain, he pushed himself up and hurtled himself out the door.

Don, who had heard his brother scream his name, had been rushing up the stairs when Charlie ran full force outside his room. Don caught him at the top of the steps.

"Hey, whoa, whoa." Don stopped his brother, who was still trying to run.

Hearing his brother's voice, Charlie stopped struggling. He sank a little in his brother's hold.

"I-I couldn't... couldn't find you."

"I'm right here," Don said, wondering what his brother meant.

"I was too late. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, hey, hey. You're okay. I'm fine. I'm right here."

Don tilted Charlie's chin up so he could meet his gaze. But, looking at Charlie's eyes, Don could tell his brother wasn't focusing on him at all. Charlie quickly closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Don tightly.

"I couldn't get to you."

"Sh. It's okay."

"I couldn't, couldn't see to find you."

"I'm fine."

"You were dead. It was all... all my fault."

Don looked over his shoulder to his father, who was standing still on the steps. Alan just smiled reassuringly, knowing his oldest son was unsure as to what to do.

Don gently guided Charlie back to his bed, which wasn't hard considering his little brother had latched himself onto him. He laid him lightly on the bed, but his little brother continued to hang onto him.

"Sh, you need to get some more sleep now, okay?"

"No! Please, don't make me go to sleep! I don't... I don't want to have to go through that again. Please, don't make me," Charlie said in a panic.

"Okay, okay."

Alan came in and sat on the other side of Charlie. The three Eppes men stayed in the room as Charlie whimpered and clutched to his older brother's arm. Don figured that his little brother had had some sort of nightmare about him. It was always hard for him dealing with a nightmare about Charlie getting injured while working with him.

Alan moved his hand across Charlie's hair soothingly. Charlie didn't seem to notice. He just kept seeking his reassurance that his brother was alive and okay, no thanks to him. He closed his eyes and pressed his face against Don's forearm. He didn't care anymore. He let the tears fall freely; let the sobs shake his body. He knew his family would be there to comfort him if he needed it. His dream had just seemed so real and that scared him. What if something like that happened? Would he be able to find his brother in time?


	7. Somebody Help Me Through This Nightmare

Alan watched Charlie cautiously for the next few days. His son was able to walk around more on his own since his vision had improved and he hadn't had any more emotional break downs. Alan had heard from Don about the doctor's suggestion that Charlie seek psychiatric help. He also thought it was a good idea, as did Don.

It was hard for Alan to see Charlie so upset. His son proclaimed he was fine and that it had just struck him hard. Alan knew better. Something was wrong and he knew his son was not taking the temporary blindness well.

He tried to keep Charlie updated on his messages, but after a while, it became too much for him. Charlie hired one of his students to come help him for a couple of hours each night. It helped Charlie deal with privacy issues as well.

Alan knew he couldn't tell Don about his suspicion that something was wrong. Just when Don seemed to be letting go of the guilt, Charlie got worse emotionally and Don put the blame on himself, as always. Alan was thankful that his oldest son came over a lot to take care of his little brother. It allowed Alan time to keep an eye on both his sons. At the moment, Charlie wasn't a good support for his older brother, so Alan tried to fill that role. It was hard to see through the thick mask his oldest son wore. It his all his inner demons, ones Alan and Charlie had yet to slay.

Alan went to the living room to see his youngest. Charlie's vision had improved, according to him and his doctor after his second checkup. Again, afterwards, Charlie claimed to be tired and just wanted to rest. Though his eyes were closed, Alan could tell he wasn't sleeping.

"Charlie? Charlie, open your eyes."

Charlie groaned at being disturbed from sleep, though he hadn't found it yet. It was starting to affect him. Sleep eluded him since his last nightmare, save for a few hours when exhaustion had finally set in. Unfortunately, Dr. Smith had noticed too and said it showed that he especially needed to talk to a psychiatrist. He'd given Charlie a few sleeping pills. He didn't give him a whole bottle since he was supposed to be going to therapy and it would help him sleep. Charlie didn't plan on going, so he'd have to make the pills last.

"What, Dad? I'm tired," he grumbled to his father.

"I know, but I need to speak with you. It's important."

Feeling a bit of panic for his brother's safety, Charlie opened his eyes and focused on Alan's face. He couldn't tell what Alan wanted to say, but since he saw no fear or sadness on his father's face, he assumed his brother was okay.

His vision was clearing much more and it was easier to focus. It still wasn't enough for him, though. He wondered if it'd ever reach enough.

"Sure. What is it?" Charlie sat up and leaned forward.

"I, um, I talked to Dr. Smith after your first appointment." That statement alone was enough to get Charlie's pulse racing.

"Since you weren't really giving me straight answers, I wanted to get them from him. As I was talking to him, I got the distinct feeling that he was leaving something out. When I asked him about it, he said I'd have to get my answers from you."

Alan paused to give Charlie time to process what he'd told him and to decide what to tell him. Alan hoped it would be the truth.

"Would you care to tell me what it is he had to leave out?" He pressed gently when Charlie wouldn't say anything.

He just shook his head. "No. No... I don't have anything I need to tell you that I haven't told you already."

Alan studied Charlie's face for any sign that he was lying. Though he still didn't quite believe him, for now, he chose to trust his son.

"Okay. If there isn't anything you want to tell me, I'll let you sleep."

"Thank you." Charlie stretched out again and rested his head against the pillow, closing his eyes. Alan moved across the room and bent down to brush his son's curls away from his forehead. He kissed his son lightly on the head.

"Sleep well, kiddo."

Like he could actually sleep now.

* * *

Don came over to Charlie's house after a long, hard day at work. After parking his SUV, he had to stop and take a moment. He rested his head on the steering wheel and moaned. He didn't need more days like this. He had enough of them already. Still, they seemed to pile up on his shoulders. It was days like today that made him fight harder. 

His team seemed to be running in circles to catch a kidnapper. And today, though they hadn't found the kidnapper, they'd found the body of the little boy he'd taken. It's moments like that that make him wonder if his job is worth the heartache. He always came back to the same conclusion, though. If he didn't do anything, people like the kidnapper would just keep doing what they'd done before, waiting for someone else to stop them.

Finally Don left the safety of his SUV and went inside his childhood home. He could hear his father in the kitchen, probably fixing dinner. He found Charlie lying on the couch.

"Hey Buddy," Don said half-heartedly as he sank exhaustedly into an arm chair across from the couch.

"Hey," Charlie replied, equally non-enthusiastic.

"How was your checkup?" Don was happy he remembered.

"It was fine. My vision has improved more, though I could have told you that... So what's new with you?"

Don stood up and began to pace slowly to the opposite wall. He couldn't stay sitting. His muscles ached to do something, to think of a way to catch the damn murderer.

"Are you guys surviving without my help?" Charlie teased.

Don spun around, unappreciative of the joke. "You know, the FBI was doing fine before you came. We're still capable of solving cases without your help. We can survive without your stupid math," he snapped angrily at his little brother. Upon seeing the color drain from Charlie's face, he could have kicked himself.

"It-It was a joke. I-I-I don't doubt the intelligence or capability of-" Charlie fought to defend himself before his older brother interrupted him.

"Charlie, stop. You don't have to explain anything to me. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I've had a hell of a day and I took it out on you. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Charlie wouldn't meet Don's eyes, a sure sign he wasn't okay. Even after all these years, Don hadn't picked up on that sign.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Really."

"You sure?"

"I'm positive, Don."

Don sighed and returned to his chair. He hated that he'd not been able to control his temper in front of his brother. He knew Charlie was having a bad enough time as it was.

"So what's bothering you so much?" Charlie asked, trying to lend a helping hand toward his brother.

"This last case...it's, I don't know. It's really getting to me."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, it's okay. You should be resting. Besides, you can't really do much without reading the files or writing down equations."

"I could. Just read the files to me and I can dictate the equation for you, and-"

"Whoa, Buddy. Take it easy. I'm sure we'll get it under control soon." Don could only hope that was true.

"You sure? You know I can help if you need me to."

"I know and I appreciate the offer, but I know we can get it under control."

Alan walked in, surprised to see his oldest son in the living room.

"When did you get here? I didn't hear you come in."

"I've not been here long. How are you doing, Dad?"

"Fine. Better than you, from the look of it."

"Yeah, well, most people are."

"Are you all right?" Alan searched his oldest son for signs that he wasn't at least physically okay.

"I'm fine, Dad, really. Don't worry about me."

"Ha! Like that will ever happen. It's time to eat you two." Alan went back to the kitchen to bring the food out.

"Okay. Ready Charlie?"

"Yeah." Don extended his hand to Charlie and he took it so his older brother could pull him up. However, he wasn't prepared for the way his legs went out from under him almost immediately after standing. Charlie clung to Don to keep himself upright. Don, surprised by how his brother suddenly latched onto him, nearly fell as well. Regaining his footing, though, he grabbed onto his little brother to keep him from falling as his legs went completely out from under him. He had to hold Charlie up to keep him from sliding down to the floor.

"Are you all right?" Don asked as he looked down at his little brother, who clung fearfully to him.

"I-I don't know."

Alan walked in carrying a plate of roast beef and was surprised to find Charlie hanging limply by his brother's arm.

"What happened?" He hurriedly set down the plate on the kitchen table and rushed over, oven mittens still on. He grabbed Charlie around the waist and lifted him into a standing position before he moved him to sit on the couch again.

"I-I don't know. I-I-I just stood and it was like my legs turned to jelly. I don't know what happened."

Don smoothed down his shirt where Charlie had clung to him.

"Are you okay, Buddy?" he asked.

Charlie reached out and grabbed onto Alan, who had sat beside him on the couch. A little shaken, he took a few deep breaths.

"Yeah. I'm-I'm okay."

"Are you sure? You scared me." Don also came over and sat on the other side of his little brother.

"I guess I'm a little more tired than I thought."

"Do you want to eat here? I could bring the dinner tray for you."

"No, that's okay. I'm fine. I'll eat with you."

Charlie moved to stand up. Don and Alan stood first to make sure he was okay.

"Take it slow," Alan suggested.

"I'm fine, Dad, re-"

It was a good thing that Don and Alan were prepared to catch him ahead of time because Charlie passed out the second time he tried to stand. Each grabbed an arm before Charlie hit the floor.

"What in the world is going on?" Alan asked as he and Don pulled Charlie to the couch.

"I don't know." Don stooped and picked Charlie up to lay him on the couch.

"I'm calling Dr. Smith. You stay with him."

"Okay."

Don sat on the edge of the coffee table and watched his brother carefully. He hoped nothing was wrong. He couldn't take that right now.

A low moan from Charlie told Don his little brother was awake.

"Charlie? Buddy?"

Charlie turned his head toward his brother and slowly opened his eyes. Groaning, he sat up.

"What happened?"

"You fainted."

"Did I?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't it time to eat?" Charlie began to stand, but was stopped by his older brother.

"Wait a minute! Charlie, you just collapsed and then fainted. Take a minute and rest."

Suddenly, Alan stormed in angrily.

"You stay put, young man!" he ordered Charlie. Seeing how upset his father was, Charlie sank into the couch a little more.

"What's going on, Dad?" Don asked, looking worriedly between his father and brother.

"Apparently, your brother hasn't been sleeping, and, _of course_ he didn't tell us!"

Charlie blushed slightly at the way his father was talking about him. It made him feel like a little kid again.

"Is that true, Buddy?" Don asked gently, noticing how uncomfortable his little brother was with the conversation.

Charlie nodded. "I-I didn't want to worry you."

"Worry us? You think you haven't done enough of that already?" Alan asked angrily.

Charlie winced at his father's words as though they had physically pained him. Noticing, Don stepped in.

"Dad, please. Stop."

Don took his father's arm and pulled him into the kitchen.

"Dad, stop. You're letting your temper get the best of you."

"But, he-"

"Is just being Charlie. He doesn't tell us when something is that wrong."

"Yeah, I hate that about both my sons."

"Dad, this is not the time to point fingers. Yelling at him for not telling us isn't going to make him want to tell us the next time something is wrong."

Alan took a deep breath. "You're right. I-I was being irrational. It just..."

"I know, Dad. Let me talk to him, okay?"

"Fine. I'll put the roast back in the oven again to keep it warm. Don't you dare let him get up."

"I won't."

"Thank you, Donnie. I needed that." Alan patted his son's arm.

Don smiled at his father before he led the way out of the kitchen. Charlie was sitting in the same spot with his head down as he stared at his feet. Once Alan returned to the kitchen, Don sat down across from his brother.

"You okay?"

Charlie nodded silently.

"You know Dad only worries about you. And you know how much it upsets him when we don't tell him what's wrong."

"I am an adult."

"I know that, and so does he. He still likes taking care of us, though."

"I just wanted to protect him."

Don smiled softly. "I know. I always do, too. Why haven't you been sleeping?"

Charlie shrugged, still keeping his gaze on the floor.

"Come on. Talk to me, Buddy."

"I don't know."

"How long haven't you been sleeping?"

"Three days."

"Charlie! That's way too long to go without sleep." Charlie could argue the point Don did it enough, though. Don wasn't going to bring it up if Charlie wasn't.

"Have you been busy thinking? Have you been having nightmares?"

"One."

"How bad was it?"

"Bad." The flash of fear across his face was enough to tell Don that is was pretty awful. He thought back three days. Charlie had woken up from a nightmare then.

"Was it the nightmare you had three days ago?"

Charlie nodded in response.

"What was it about?"

It took Charlie a while to gather the strength to tell his brother. "I... I couldn't find you."

"Why?"

"I couldn't see you. It was burning. I don't know where. I kept getting burned, so I stayed where I was. But you were calling my name. You sounded hurt, so I had to get to you. When I thought I made it where you should have been, I heard you in the opposite direction. You kept screaming for me, but suddenly, it stopped."

Charlie stopped to wipe his eyes which had grown wet from tears.

"Then what?" Don pressed gently when his brother didn't continue.

"You, um, you came to me. You stood in front of me. You were... you were dead. I was too late to save you."

Charlie turned away from Don and leaned his face into the sofa cushions.

Don, still surprised by his brother's graphic dream, moved slowly to Charlie's side. He sat down behind Charlie and took him by the shoulders. He pulled his little brother back so that he was leaning on Don's shoulder. He wrapped his arms tightly around his little brother. He felt Charlie grab onto his arm with one hand as he leaned heavily against him.

Alan, who had been listening to the conversation from the kitchen, came in then. Charlie's gaze followed his father as he came to sit in front of him. He kept his gaze there as his father soothed him quietly. He took a tissue and began wiping Charlie's face tenderly. In an attempt to comfort him, Alan began brushing his son's hair with one hand while wiping tears with the other.

"I'm s-sorry," Charlie choked out to his father.

"Sh, sh. Don't you worry about that, my little boy. You just rest."

Charlie closed his eyes and Alan continued his movements. Don strengthened his hold when he felt a shudder pass through his little brother.

"You're okay, Buddy," Don whispered in Charlie's ear. "We're all okay."

Though it hadn't been their original intent, soon Charlie was asleep. He rested easy in the protective and loving arms of his family, finally feeling safe enough to truly sleep for the first time in three days.

And he didn't need any sleeping pills.

**Last chapter's title came from the song "Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones and this chapter's title came from the song "Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace.**


	8. No Escape from Reality

**Title for this chapter comes from the song "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen.**

Charlie wasn't sure how his world had suddenly stopped spinning. He'd have to consult Larry about some sort of freeze in time.

He heard the words he feared most. He had expected the news, should have known it all along. But he kept a nagging hope that some how this would all clear up, that he would get a happy ending in this mess.

But that wasn't about to happen.

Dr. Smith confirmed that Charlie's left eye was blind and that, unless by some unlikely happening, he wouldn't see out of it ever again. It didn't seem like it should be possible. Again, Charlie questioned where he was as he felt as though he was being taken away by a black hole. Nothing showed that it was there, except for the effects on others around it. In this case, it was his blind eye. Though no one could tell a difference by looking at it, it was obvious by certain movements he made that he was visually impaired. It was his fourth appointment with Dr. Smith, nearly two weeks since his surgery. No changes. No chances of his sight coming back.

Charlie couldn't speak the relief he felt since he was taking a taxi home. His father had dropped him off but had to run an emergency shift at the homeless shelter downtown and wouldn't be back in time to pick him up. Having full sight back in his right eye, Charlie left the hospital as fast as he could. He wasn't ready to be picked up. He wasn't dealing yet. He wasn't breathing yet.

Charlie sank onto his knees when he reached the garden area of the hospital for patients and their families to visit. He wasn't in a particularly nice spot. He'd just gone down as soon as there was a grassy area. The knees of his pants would be stained green, but he didn't care.

Though the idea of his condition being permanent had crossed his mind, he never wanted to believe it could happen. He didn't know what would happen now. On a "normal" day, Charlie would be worried about his brother and how he'd take it once he found out. Though it was still his plan to not let Don or Alan find out, right now it wasn't a big concern.

The nightmares had ended a week ago, though sleep was still hard to find some nights. Right now Charlie felt like he was back in a nightmare. He began to shake his head, hoping he could will himself awake.

Feeling the overwhelming weight on his shoulder, Charlie sank fully to the ground, his face connecting with the grass and dirt.

He lay there, not knowing what to do for a long time. He knew he wouldn't be helpless. It wasn't going to be that horrible. But he wanted his sight back- all of it. He'd learn to deal with being blind in one eye. He'd make it through somehow. The only problem was that he'd have to do it alone. No one else could know.

After a nurse informed Dr. Smith that Charlie was outside in the grass, he came rushing to his patient. His appointment had been over for almost an hour now. Charlie should be home. He was still lying face down in the dirt when Dr. Smith got to his side.

Taking his patient gently by the shoulders, he turned Charlie over and saw the complete helplessness on his face.

"Charlie, why aren't you home? Do you need a ride?"

"No. I'm calling a cab." A hint of the normal, stubborn Charlie shone through as he got up and checked his pockets for his cell phone.

"This isn't healthy. Come on. You know we have excellent specialists here who will help you learn to move around and do every day things on your own. I must insist that you go to a psychiatrist. I truly believe it will help you."

"And what will I tell my friends and family, huh? When I am conveniently absent from work and home, how will I explain that to them? Do you think they wouldn't know? Do you think they're stupid? I'll be fine on my own."

"No, you won't. You need to tell someone. Please, talk to Dr. Fray. Set up an appointment with him. It'll help, I promise."

Charlie stood and walked toward the sidewalk.

"Where are you going?"

"To call a cab."

He got his ride home, feeling no better than he had before. When he got to his room, the physiological effect caught up with him and he had to throw up.

Almost completely out of it, Charlie got in the bathtub and sat down. He turned on the shower to hot water and sat there, fully clothed. He was thankful he was home alone. If Alan had picked him up, he'd have to tell his father because Alan would see something was wrong. He had that sort of detector.

Charlie stayed in the shower until after the hot water ran out. Even then, he stayed shortly after until the cold seemed to settle inside him. He was relieved, though, because that meant he could actually feel. And if he could feel he was still alive.

Charlie changed out of his wet clothes and put them in the dryer, knowing there was no explanation for why he'd done it. He went upstairs and laid down on his bed. He was about to let the tears fall when he heard the front door open.

"Buddy! You home?" Don called from downstairs.

Knowing he had to disguise his misery, Charlie quickly got up and rinsed his face and plastered on a fake smile.

"Charlie!"

Taking a deep breath before his "performance," he left his room and found Don at the bottom of the steps.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" Maybe he should go into acting.

"There you are. Dad called me and said for me to tell you he'd be late. He said he tried calling your cell and here but you never picked up. Something wrong?"

"What? No, nothing that I know of. I just forgot to turn my cell on."

"How long have you been home?"

"About an hour."

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to pick you up. I mean, I would have if I had been closer, but I was on the opposite side of town."

"Don't worry about it."

"Dad said traffic is horrible so he'd stop for supper there."

"That's fine. You want to order pizza?"

"Sure. Dad cooks so much we hardly ever get to have any. I'll call. It'll be my treat."

"Thanks."

Charlie went to the living room and sat down on the couch. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He could hear his brother ordering a pizza with everything on it. He'd have to pick the anchovies off since he didn't like them, but Don did.

"Buddy? Are you sure you're okay?"

Charlie hadn't realized he'd let the pain show on his face once more. He quickly covered it up as he opened his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine. So you ordered?"

"It'll be here within the next 30 minutes." Don sat down on the chair across from Charlie. "How did your appointment go today?"

"Fine. I'm allowed to read, write, watch TV, and get on the computer as long as I do each in small amounts."

"Well, that's good. Anything else?"

"I'm back to full sight." He hated saying that. He'd have to be on his guard to make sure Don and their father never noticed anything was different.

"Oh, thank goodness. Congratulations, Buddy! You'll be back to work in no time and you can escape Dad's hawk eyes."

Charlie forced a smile. "Yeah."

"You know, I was so worried there for a while. I was so... afraid that you'd never be able to see again, or at least you wouldn't get your full sight back. It-it would have really bothered me, knowing you couldn't see because of me. I'm so glad you're better."

Charlie could feel the color drain from his face, could feel his insides knot. Don might as well have told him that if he ever found out the truth about his vision it would kill him. He could never find out. Charlie would do everything in his power to prevent it.

"Charlie? You okay?"

"Isn't that the door?"

Don frowned in confusion, having heard nothing, as he stood and went to the door. When Charlie thought his brother couldn't hear, he ran to the bathroom and threw up.

It was too much fo Charlie. It was too much pressure. He should tell Don right now, get it over with. Then he wouldn't have to carry this weight around, have to be on his guard 24/7.

But what if he did tell Don? Would it be so hard on his brother? Would the guilt eat at him? Would he never be able to forgive himself?

Don beat himself up enough as it was. Charlie couldn't risk making his brother suffer needlessly anymore than he already did. It would be too hard. Charlie would learn to deal with it. Somehow he'd make it alone.

He flushed the toilet and rinsed out his mouth. He heard Don call for him so he left the safety of the bathroom.

"Pizza's here," Don said as he poked his head out the kitchen door.

"Good. I'm hungry." He walked into the kitchen and immediately Don's gaze went to him.

"You okay? You disappeared on me suddenly."

"I'm fine. Stop asking."

"Okay, okay. It just looks like something is bothering you, that's all." Maybe he's not that good of an actor after all.

"Nothing's bothering me. Everything is fine. Let's eat."

Charlie took the pizza box and brought it to the dining room while his brother carried a bottle of beer in one hand and a glass of Coke in the other.

After they finished eating their pizza, the two went to the living room and watched TV. Don found the playoffs so they watched it. Don was happy to see former LA Dodgers player Shawn Green doing so well. Green now played for the New York Mets, who the Dodgers were playing against. He always thought that it had been stupid to trade him. He was glad, though, that they had gotten Nomar Garciaparra. It would be a good game. The Mets had already beaten the Dodgers 2-0. If the Mets won tonight, it would be over for the Dodgers. Don hoped that his team could make it.

Alan arrived by the third inning. Charlie started when he heard the door close. He had begun to doze off on the couch.

"What are you doing watching TV? You're not supposed to do that."

"It's nice to see you, too, Dad. I'm allowed to now, just as long as I don't for too long."

"Okay. Hi, Donnie."

"Hey, Dad."

"You boys eat?"

"Yeah, Charlie and I got a pizza."

"Pizza is not food, unless you know how to make it right."

Alan came over and sat beside Charlie on the couch.

"So how was your appointment?"

"Fine. I'm back to full vision, if you didn't already know."

"That's wonderful! See, Don, you had nothing to worry about."

Charlie felt another jab to his stomach. He couldn't tell them. They couldn't know. Don had to be protected from the truth. It was better to lie to him than let him go on blaming himself.

Don smiled at his father's statement. He felt relieved. Though he still felt some guilt over the pain Charlie had to go through because of him, it was easier now that Charlie could see again. The guilt eased off him and he stopped beating himself up.

By the fifth inning, Charlie fell asleep on the couch. Alan smiled down at his son who laid against his shoulder.

"Hey, Dad?"

"Yes, Don?"

"I-I don't want to worry you, but Charlie seemed kind of upset today. I'm not sure what it was, but he seemed like something was bothering him all day."

Alan felt a note of fear. Maybe it was what Charlie wasn't telling him, what Dr. Smith couldn't tell him. At first Alan had thought it was about Charlie's sleeping habits, but it seemed he was wrong about it. Not wanting to worry Don, he chose not to make a big deal about it.

"I'm sure it was just because he had an appointment today. It's probably nothing."

Don looked at his father confusedly. He had expected more of a reaction from his father than that. Were they hiding something from him?

Charlie broke the two men out of their thoughts when he gave a loud whimper and grabbed onto Alan's arm in a tight grip. Alan sucked in a sharp breath at the tightness in his arm. He felt Charlie's fingernails dig into the skin.

"Dad? Are you all right?" Don looked worriedly between his father and brother.

"I'm okay. Wake him up."

Don rushed over and started shaking Charlie.

"Wake up, Buddy! Come on, wake up!" Don said loudly, trying to make him wake up faster when he saw the grip he had on their father's arm.

"No! Stop!" Charlie cried out.

Alan's arm began to throb with pain, so he fought to get it out of Charlie's grasp. He pried his son's fingers off his arm and pulled it away when he saw Charlie reach for it again. This time he found Don's shirt and pulled his startled older brother to him.

"Make it stop," Charlie hissed when his brother's face was less than inches away from him.

"Charlie! Wake up!" Don screamed and when Charlie woke up this time, he hit his head against his brother's.

"Ow!" They both cried out as they grabbed onto their heads where they had connected.

Charlie leaned back against the couch again and held his forehead.

"Charlie, are you-" Charlie jumped with a gasp as he heard his father's voice beside him. Turning so he could see him, he looked at his father.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Are you all right?"

"Yeah. I-I'm fine." He looked to his older brother who was rubbing a red spot on his head. "Are you okay?"

Don smiled at his little brother. "You've got a hard head. I'm fine, Buddy. Don't worry about me."

But he did. Charlie worried about his older brother a lot. It was out of that worry that he chose not to tell Don the truth. Couldn't Don see it? Didn't he know how much Charlie wanted to protect him, as his older brother protected him?

"I think I'm going to go to bed." Charlie stood and started for the steps.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Alan asked.

"I'm fine, Dad," Charlie replied without looking back. He went to his bed and lay there. He shivered at the memory of his dream. Black crows were poking his eyes and he couldn't see. Everything had gone black, but he could still feel their beaks and claws scratching at him.

As he lay there in bed, he finally let the tears fall. He was behind the safety of his locked door, knowing no one would interrupt his moment to grieve his lost vision.

Meanwhile Alan and Don were still downstairs. Don came closer to his father and looked at his arm.

"Roll up your sleeve," he ordered gently.

"It's fine, Donnie. Don't worry about it."

"Do it."

Sighing, Alan obeyed. He was as surprised as Don was by how it looked beneath the clothing. His arm was red and purple. It was plain to see where Charlie's fingernails had been beneath the bloody areas. It hurt about as bad as it looked.

"Oh, Dad. Let me go get something for that, okay? You sit tight."

Alan smiled at his son's concern. He worried as much as he did sometimes. He was glad that he and his wife had raised two boys who cared so much about their family, though sometimes they weren't too good at showing.

Don came back with a washcloth, a bottle of peroxide, and several band-aids. He kneeled down in front of his father and wet the washcloth with peroxide.

"This may sting a little."

"Haven't I always told that to you?"

Don smiled. "Okay, so maybe I picked that line up from you. It always stung a lot, though."

"That makes me feel better."

Don gently wiped his father's arm with peroxide before he bandaged it.

"I can't believe he got you that good." Don shook his head.

"I know. He seemed okay, though, once he woke up."

"I know. I don't know what it was all about. It was weird, though."

"Yeah."

Once the band-aids were all put on, Don stood. "Better?"

"Yes, thank you Dr. Don."

Don laughed. "I think I'll head home."

"No, no. Stay. Watch the end of the game. Look, it's tied up four to four."

"Well..."

"Come on. Stay. Please."

Don smiled. "All right. If you insist."

Don and Alan stayed up and watched the end of the game. Though disappointed that the Dodgers lost, Don was thankful for the time spent with his dad and brother.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Larry and Amita came over the next day to visit Charlie. They had stopped by a few times since he'd left CalSci. He was out in the garage working on some equations when they came.

"Hello, Charles," Larry said upon his entrance, Amita close behind him.

"Larry! Amita! It's nice to see you. Come on in."

Smiling, the two came in and looked at the board. Sometimes it was hard to follow what Charlie was doing, but Amita could tell, from taking Charlie's classes, that he was just working on questions for his students. They were far too simple for Charlie to be going over.

"How was your appointment yesterday?" Amita asked.

"It was fine. As you can see, I'm able to read and write again. Dad says if I'm out here longer than an hour, though, he'll come in after me. I'm back to full vision."

"That's wonderful news! Do you think you'll be returning to CalSci soon?"

"Well, the fall quarter is almost over. I don't want to confuse the students. They've had Dr. Ashland for a while now, so they're probably comfortable with him. I plan on returning for winter quarter."

"A stupendous idea. I must say, though, your absence has definitely affected the students. I think they all want you back."

Charlie smiled. "Well, they'll get me back soon enough. Winter quarter begins in two weeks."

"Don't I know it. I have to give five different finals next week."

"How about you, Amita? How are you doing with school?"

"It's going well. I've been helping Larry out a lot lately, so I can't complain."

"Well, you can, as long as he's not in here." The three laughed at Charlie's joke. Charlie was thankful no one seemed to hear the emptiness in his laugh, except for him of course.

"I have a class to teach soon, but I wanted to come check on you before hand since we had time from our lunch hour."

"Well, that was thoughtful of you. I should probably stop now anyway or Dad will be out here."

"I'm sure he will. We miss you at CalSci."

"Thank you for saying that. Stop by anytime."

"We will. Bye, Charlie."

"Bye, Amita. Bye, Larry."

"Good-bye, Charles."

Charlie watched his friends leave and waved good-bye to them. Then he went into the kitchen for something to drink. He found a bottle of water and opened it. He drank greedily from the bottle. When he finished, he closed the fridge door and threw away the bottle.

Charlie jumped and screamed when he turned back around and found his father standing against the wall, near where he had just been.

"Dad! You scared me." Charlie put his hand against his pounding heart.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell me something?"

"No. I-I don't know what you're talking about. I'm going to get back to work, okay?"

Charlie quickly escaped the kitchen.

Alan held a greater suspicion now, one that scared him. If it was true, it would change things. Still, his oldest couldn't find out. Alan wouldn't tell him. It would be hard to keep such a secret from his son, though. He would learn to do it. He'd have to for Don's sake.

Tomorrow, he planned on testing out his theory on what Charlie wasn't telling him. He prayed it wasn't true.

**I'm so sorry this is so short. Yesterday I was gone all day and I barely got the computer Friday. I'm SO sorry! I'll update with a better one Wednesday, okay? I'm soooo sorry! Please forgive me!**


	9. When The Hour is Upon Us

Alan observed his youngest for the next few days. His son was a poor actor in his opinion. He could see his son was hurting, that something was bothering him. Maybe it was just the all-seeing-all-knowing father talking. Maybe others couldn't see it as well as he could. Don had made brief comments a few days ago, but had let the matter drop after that. Alan couldn't understand how others couldn't see what was so obvious to him.

Alan was thankful Don had chosen not to come over tonight. He knew this would be a good opportunity to confront his son. His suspicion had become more and more likely. Alan just hoped that if it was correct, Charlie wouldn't deny it.

Charlie noticed the way his father watched him even more carefully than usual. So, he sought solitude in the garage. The past 20 days had been very trying for him. The first week was extremely difficult because he couldn't see hardly anything. It had been a real struggle for him. But dealing with hiding the fact that he was blind in one eye had been the most difficult. Charlie knew how much it would worry his father if he knew about his blind eye. He didn't want to be babied because of it. He would be fine on his own. He didn't want anyone feeling sorry for him or making things easier on him. He would still be independent. He refused to let this stop him.

More than that, he didn't want Don to find out. His brother had done so much for him already. Don was his protector. He had always been there for him. Charlie at least owed him protection from the truth. He knew Don had done the same for him. Though he understood how frustrating that could be, Charlie was thankful he didn't know some of the things that had happened to his brother. He wanted to be a part of his brother's life, and it hurt him that Don didn't trust him enough to tell him the truth. Still, Charlie knew how it would scare him if he knew his brother was seriously injured.

Don didn't need to know about his eye. He wouldn't tell his brother. Charlie regretted ever making Don seem like a bad brother. Though his brother often seemed oblivious to Charlie's feelings, he knew Don took his comments to heart. Now his brother would probably use things Charlie had said against him to back up how horrible he thought he was for allowing Charlie to get hurt. It wasn't fair of him to judge himself so harshly. If Don already was punishing himself enough, Charlie wouldn't dare add more to make his brother use against himself. Don couldn't see how good of a brother he was. Maybe Charlie didn't tell him enough. He'd fight to remedy that. It was only fair that he returned the favor to his brother.

Today, Charlie locked himself in the garage. He needed a moment to himself. The effects of his fight to hide the truth were beginning to show. It was easier to hide it than pretend it wasn't there. If his father didn't see him and he didn't see his father, there was no reason to hide. He could embrace it, relax a moment, knowing he didn't have to be on his guard.

Charlie sank onto the floor, leaning against the wall behind him. Though numbers, math, equations that needed to be solved clouded his  
mind, the one thing that was always first in his thoughts pushed the math away. It was hard. He'd already gone weeks without talking to anyone about how it was only seeing out of the one eye. It would be easier on him if he didn't have to watch what he did and said all the time. He had to pretend to be able to see clearly out of both eyes. He didn't even trust his friends with the knowledge that he was blind in one eye. It was a heavy burden he carried, and he would continue to as long as he could. It was a small price he had to pay to protect himself and his family.

Today seemed especially hard. He pressed his face in his hands and felt them dampen as his tears spilled from his eyes. It was so hard. He had to remind himself multiple times a day that it was worth it because every day he'd think he should just tell the truth and it'd be over. He would spare his brother the guilt, spare his father the worry. It would be worth it, the hurt, the stress, the strive to make sure no one knew.

When Charlie allowed himself a long time to himself, he stood up. His father knocked on the door right before he left. Charlie opened it and found his father waiting worriedly outside.

"Are you all right? You've been in there an awfully long time."

"I'm fine, Dad. You want me to fix lunch?" Charlie walked past his father and headed for the kitchen door.

Alan thought he had seen the remnants of tears in his son's eyes. He couldn't be sure since it had been such a brief glimpse. He figured his son was leaving quickly so he couldn't see any tears.

Alan followed his son into the house. Charlie was getting out the turkey lunch meat when he came in. His son had already gotten out the bread and cheese. Alan came over and got out the mustard.

"Here," he set the jar on the table.

"I've got it, Dad. Just go sit down, please." Charlie fought to keep the snap out of his tone.

"All right," Alan consented and went to the dining room to sit down.

A few minutes later, Charlie came out with two plates. Each had a turkey sandwich on it and a side of potato chips. Both liked their sandwiches the same, so it was easy to fix. He went back into the kitchen and came out with two glasses of lemon water.

"Thank you, Charlie. It looks good," Alan commented before eating.

"You're welcome."

Realizing it was time for the news, Alan stood. "You don't mind if I turn on the TV do you?"

"No. Go right ahead."

The images on the screen scared them both, though. The writing on the bottom of the screen described a shooting across the street from the Los Angeles FBI headquarters. The reporter explained that five were injured, two off them being agents. Alan and Charlie just stared at the TV, neither moving.

Then the phone rang.

Both their hearts stopped beating. Charlie stood and rushed to the trash can not too far away. He never would have made it to the bathroom without spewing the contents of his stomach on the floor. Momentarily torn between seeing to his youngest son and answering the phone, Alan had to pause before answering.

"He-hello?" Alan's voice shook as he spoke into the phone.

"Hi, Dad."

Alan felt his breath leave him in a rush. "Donnie! Are you all right?"

"I'm okay, Dad. I am one of the five injured, though."

"What? Are you okay?"

"I just said I am," Don laughed. "Ow. I just broke a couple of ribs. I had my vest on, so don't worry."

"I had my vest on" meant he'd been shot. How could Alan not worry?

"Oh, Donnie."

"It's okay, really. Did Charlie see?"

Alan turned his attention back to his youngest still on the floor and found Charlie's frightened eyes on him. Alan smiled reassuringly.

"Yes, unfortunately. He was a bit preoccupied when the phone rang. He was emptying his stomach."

"Aw, man. I didn't mean to worry him. Let me talk to him."

Alan held the phone out to Charlie. Charlie clutched it tightly and brought it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Buddy. You okay?"

Charlie closed his eyes and breathed a silent "thank you."

"You still with me?" Don asked when his brother didn't say anything for a long time.

"I-I'm here. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just got a few broken ribs. It's nothing too bad."

"That's good." Charlie's breathing was shaky. He was failing to fight off tears.

"Hey, could you do me a favor?"

"Anything." His voice broke off toward the end as he choked on a sob.

"Would you mind keeping Dad away, at least for a while? I don't really feel like being smothered right now."

"Okay."

Charlie heard someone say something in the background. Don replied, "I'm an FBI agent!" The he groaned. "I gotta go, Buddy. Apparently I'm not supposed to have a cell phone. I'm okay, I promise. I'll see you later, Buddy!"

"Bye."

"Bye!"

Charlie hung up the phone and covered his face with his hands as he released the tears he had tried to hide from his brother.

Seeing his son so upset, Alan rushed to Charlie's side and took him in his arms. Charlie turned his face into his father's chest.

"Why must he do stuff like this to us?" he asked.

Alan laughed. "I don't think he does it on purpose."

"I know, but it scares me so much." Charlie squeezed his father around the waist.

"Do you know what one of the scariest moments of my life was?"

"What?" Charlie knew there had to be many.

"Your first days of high school, you and Don both."

Charlie laughed against his father's shirt.

"I'm serious! Your mother and I were so worried about you two and for good reason when it came to you apparently."

"That was years ago. Get over it, Dad. I have."

"You were a mess! If I'd been twenty years younger I would have beaten those boys up myself."

"Yeah, well, you didn't have to."

Alan smiled. "Your brother was always good about that. I got a call at work saying he'd gotten in a fight. After I asked who with, I told the principal, 'Do what you want to punish him. He's not getting in trouble from us.'"

Charlie laughed again and pushed out of his father's arms. "Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome, kiddo." Alan grabbed his son's head and leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead.

"You ready to go see your brother?"

"Dad, maybe we should wait a while."

Alan gave his son a stern look, and then came to an assumption. "Did he tell you to stall me?"

Charlie grinned, enough of an answer for Alan.

"I see. Well, he can be in for a surprise."

"I'm in trouble."

"Oh, yes you are."

Maybe Alan would get around to confronting Charlie tomorrow.

* * *

Don wasn't too surprised when his family showed up shortly after he called them. He could see that the scare was affecting his little brother. He hated seeing that. Don knew his father was also affected, but Alan must do a better job at hiding it. 

"Well, that didn't take long. Couldn't you hold out a little longer, Buddy?" Don teased.

Charlie gave him a tentative smile in return before ducking his head and going to stand in the corner of the room.

"I heard about you, mister. You're in big trouble." Alan walked to his son on the bed and planted a kiss on Don's forehead.

"Uh-oh. Charlie tell on me?"

"Yes, and you had to go and scare us to death."

"I'm sorry, guys."

"We forgive you, but try not to let it happen again. There's only so much this old heart of mine can take."

"Dad, you want to go get my discharge papers?"

"Sure. I'll be right back."

Don was thankful for the time alone with his brother.

"Come over here, Buddy."

Charlie slowly went to his brother, trying to cover the tears and fears that must have shown plainly on his face.

"Oh, Buddy. It's okay. Come here." Don opened his arms for his little brother, seeing how miserable Charlie looked. After a short pause, Charlie went to his brother. He pressed his face into his brother's shirt to hide the tears streaming down his face, though he was sure Don could tell by the wet spot that slowly grew on his shirt.

"You scared me."

"I know. I'm sorry, Buddy. It's a part of my job. Eventually, you get used to it."

Charlie sniffled. "Not me. Every time seems worse because it means one more moment you could have been killed. People only have so much luck."

"I thought you didn't believe in luck."

"I don't, but it's what I've named what ever it is you have that's kept you alive so long."

Don laughed. "I see."

Alan came in by the time Charlie had wiped away his tears.

Don stayed at home for the night, getting spoiled by his father and brother. The next day he went back to work on desk duty, though he hated it. It was still work.

Knowing they'd be alone for a while, Alan waited for a good time to test his own theory. He found it after lunch when Charlie sat in the living room and started reading a book.

Alan tiptoed his way into the living room. Charlie was usually pretty engrossed in books enough not to notice when someone starts talking to him. However, he usually acknowledges someone's presence.

Alan sat on the arm chair beside Charlie, being on his son's left. He succeeded in making a silent entry. He should have gotten something to do for the time being.

It was confirmation enough for Alan when his son didn't notice he was there for over half an hour. Charlie had even looked up from his book and shifted in his chair. It wasn't possible that he hadn't seen Alan the whole time.

"Charlie-"

"Ah!" Charlie screamed when he heard his father's voice so close beside him. He turned his face so his right eye was facing his father so he could see.

"Dad, you scared me." Charlie laughed nervously.

"I've been sitting here for forty minutes, Charlie."

He shook his head. That couldn't be. "No. No, that can't be."

Alan nodded his head.

"No."

"Yes. Charlie, isn't it about time you told me the whole truth?"

"What do you mean? I already told you." Charlie's pulse began to race. He felt panic rise in him.

"I'm your father. You can tell me anything."

"What? There's nothing to tell!"

Charlie stood and ran to his room.

"Charlie!" his father called after him.

He slammed the door and locked it, then slid down it to the floor.

This couldn't be happening. If Dad knew, then Don would. And if Don knew...Charlie didn't even want to think about that.

How did his father know there was still something he wasn't telling him? Was it that obvious? Was that why his father had sat by him? Maybe Alan already knew. That was probably it. Oh, God.

"Charlie! Charlie open this door right now!"

Charlie shook his head, though his father couldn't see him.

"Charlie, come on. I know about your eye."

Charlie's heart stopped beating. So he did know. He slowly stood and opened the door.

"What about my eye?" He tried to keep his voice from shaking.

"That you can't see out of your left eye."

Charlie gasped. "It isn't true!"

"Charlie, it's okay. Now I understand why you've been having such a rough time. I can't imagine what it would be like being the only one to know. I am hurt that you didn't tell me, though."

"It isn't true!" Charlie backed up. "I can see fine! See? You're wearing a black dress shirt and blue jeans. That shoe on the floor is brown and the clock says it's 1:45. See? I can see just fine!"

"I never said you couldn't see at all. You're just blind in one eye."

"It isn't true! It isn't true!" Charlie backed up to the corner of the room and slid down to the floor. Alan, who had stayed back before, went to his son. Charlie just kept shaking his head saying, "it isn't true" in a quiet voice.

"Oh, Charlie. It's okay now. Now you don't have to carry this alone."

Knowing there was no point in further denying it, Charlie gave up hiding. He buried his face in his hands a moment, and then lifted his face to his father.

"Please don't tell Don. Please don't tell Don. Don't tell Don. Don't tell Don," he now repeated after grabbing onto his father's hands and burying his face in them.

And now it made sense to Alan.

**It's been one of those weeks, but I've survived. I hope you liked this chapter. It is a bit of a cliffhanger, but not much!**


	10. How Can You Learn What's Never Shown?

**Hey guys! Sorry I had to write that other piece, but I really needed it out of my head. Sorry it delayed this story a bit. I have a test in each subject this week, so wish me luck! At least I shouldn't have much homework!**

Alan hugged his son tightly to him. Charlie was crying, begging him to not tell Don. Alan hadn't realized his son was trying that hard to keep his big brother from finding out. He was thankful that he had chosen not to tell Don, too. Charlie probably would have been mad at him if he had.

"Sh, sh. It's okay. You're okay now. I'm here." Alan squeezed his son tighter.

Charlie grabbed fistfuls of the front of his father's shirt and squeezed tightly. "Don't tell Don!" he begged loudly.

"Sh, sh. I won't. I won't." Alan fought to reassure him.

Why did he have to know? Charlie didn't want it this way! What if Alan told Don? What would he do? He felt himself begin to panic and tried to push it away, but the thoughts kept rolling in his head until he breathed irregularly. He fought to get enough air.

Alan heard his son begin to wheeze and gasp for each breath. Standing, he pulled his son along with him. Charlie gripped his shirt tighter and tighter, beginning to pull at it as he fought for each breath. Alan slowly made it to the kitchen and he got into one of the lower cabinets and pulled out a paper bag. He gave it to his son and Charlie crumpled it in his fist a moment before breathing into it. Alan sat Charlie down on one of the kitchen chairs and he took another.

Charlie continued to look at Alan with panicked eyes. Alan fought to reassure his son that he wouldn't tell Don as Charlie's breathing slowly worked back to normal.

"Are you going to tell Don?" Charlie asked with a high-pitched voice. It was hard to hear since he was speaking into the bag.

"No, I won't. I promise. Just calm down."

Charlie closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. After a while, he took the bag away and took a deep breath.

"Are you all right?" Alan asked.

He nodded, shaking slightly with fear.

"It's okay now, kiddo." Alan reached out and hugged his son again. Charlie sank into his father's arm, thankful for some support.

"How did you know?" he whispered against his father's shirt.

"I didn't know, I just suspected. When you didn't notice I was in the living room with you for so long, I figured I was right. Why didn't you tell me? It's obvious you didn't want to tell Don, but you could have told me."

Charlie sniffled, fighting away tears. "I didn't want to worry you. You worry enough as is."

"But you've been all alone! Does anyone else know?"

"Besides Dr. Smith?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Oh, Charlie." Alan held on tighter. "To think you've been going through this alone. How long have you known?"

"Since two appointments ago."

"Charlie!"

"Well, I knew before then, but it wasn't finalized until two appointments ago. I haven't been able to see out of that eye since the accident." Charlie hated calling it an accident, since it was intentional. But he didn't like calling it "when I got hit with a baseball bat" either.

"You've done pretty well."

"Thanks. I've been trying really hard to hide it."

"And you've done a good job of it. Much longer and I would have just dismissed it, thinking I'm just a crazy old man."

"You're half right."

"Watch your mouth!" Alan swatted Charlie's back and laughed. He pushed his son out of his arms and studied his face. He lightly brushed Charlie's left eye with his thumb and sighed.

"My poor little boy," he said in sadness.

"I'm okay, Dad." His voice full of misery said otherwise, though.

"Now, why can't you tell Don?"

Charlie's face held panic again. "You're not going to tell him are you?"

Alan sighed. "No, as I said before, I won't."

"He... he takes so much on himself as it is. I can't... I can't let him blame himself for this, too. He already can't forgive himself for letting me get hurt in the first place. If he knew I'm blind in one eye because of it, it'll kill him. I don't want that to happen. He shouldn't blame himself. It wasn't his fault."

Alan smiled at his son, proud of him. When he just sat there and grinned at Charlie, Charlie grew suspicious.

"What?" he asked, wondering what his father was thinking.

"Nothing. I'm just proud that your mother and I raised two sons who are so thoughtful of each other. You two worry about each other so much. I'm proud that you want to take care of each other so much."

Charlie put a hand over his mouth and yawned.

"You need to get some sleep," Alan stated.

"Yeah."

"Come on." Alan pulled Charlie to his feet and walked his son up to his bed.

Charlie stretched out on his bed and yawned again.

"Sleep well. I'm going to go call Donnie." Alan started walking toward the door.

"Wait!" Charlie screamed, panicking.

"What? What?" Alan got scared.

"Don't!" Charlie grabbed onto Alan's hand and pulled him over. Alan sat on the bed and looked into his son's frightened eyes.

"What is it?"

"Don't tell him!"

"I wasn't going to, Charlie. It's okay."

"Don't tell him. Please!"

"I won't." Alan looked worriedly at his son, wondering what had him so upset over this.

"Don't tell Don."

"I won't."

Alan reached out and brushed his hand soothingly across Charlie's face. Charlie closed his eyes and leaned into his father's hand.

"Don't tell him."

"No."

"Don't tell him."

"I won't."

"Don't... don't tell him. Don't tell Don."

Slowly Charlie drifted off to sleep, mumbling for his father not to tell Don.

Alan wasn't worried that Charlie's eye sight would affect him, but keeping it from Don would.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don was surprised to get a call from his father during the day. He hoped nothing was wrong.

"Hey, Dad," he answered.

"Donnie! I'm sorry to bother you. I was wondering how you were feeling."

"I'm doing okay, Dad. Everything all right there?"

"Well... sort of."

Don felt some alarm. "What do you mean 'sort of?'"

"Oh, nothing, nothing. Charlie's just been having a rough day. He's asleep now, so it's all right. Are you coming for supper tonight?"

"What happened? Why is Charlie having a bad day?" Don needed answers!

"I don't know. It's just been hard on him. He just wore himself out, trying to do so much. Now, are you coming tonight?"

"Sure, I'll be there."

"Good. Why don't you bring Megan, David, and Colby? Megan was worrying about Charlie and she never did get to see him."

Don smiled. "I'll see if they can make it."

"Good, the more the merrier! I'll see you around, say, seven o'clock?"

"Sounds great."

"All right. I'll see you then. Bye."

"Bye, Dad."

Don stood and went to Megan's desk. She was hunched over a bunch of papers when he walked up and leaned on her desk.

"What?" Megan looked up, questioning the smile on his face.

"Dad just called. He wants to know if you want to come to dinner tonight."

"Ooh, I finally get to see Charlie, huh?"

"Something like that."

"Okay. Is Larry coming?"

Don grinned, knowing he could take that question and run with it. "Why do you ask?"

Megan blushed slightly, a rare sight for her. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Why don't you call and see if he wants to come? Ask if Amita will, too."

"Okay."

"Dad says around seven."

"I'll be there."

"Good."

Don walked around Megan's desk and went to the area where David and Colby worked. Their desks were facing each other's so that was as far as Don had to go.

"Hey guys."

"Hey Don. What's up?" David asked as he leaned back in his chair and turned to Don.

"Dad has invited a bunch of people to dinner tonight, and that includes you two. Interested?"

Colby grinned. "I haven't had a good meal in a long time. That sounds good to me."

"Sure, I'll come," David also agreed.

"Good. Be there by seven."

"We will. Thanks, Don."

Don smiled as he went back to his office to work on the paperwork. He had barely gotten through one file when Megan came in.

"Larry and Amita are both coming."

"You happy about that?" Don asked, meaning the full smile on Megan's face.

"Maybe. You'd better call your dad and tell him to expect two more guests."

"Good idea."

Megan smiled before walking away.

Don called his father with the news and was pleased to hear that his father was happy with the additional guests.

He hurried through his paper work so he could get there a little earlier. He stopped at his apartment and got a change of clothes. When he got to Charlie's house, he changed first.

"Hey Dad! Need any help?" Don asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"No, no. I'm fine. Why don't you go check on your brother? He's been sleeping so much I haven't gotten to tell him."

"Dad!"

"What?"

"They're going to be here in like thirty minutes."

"So?"

"So, he may need time to get ready!"

Alan stopped. "Oh. I never thought of that. He just seemed to need the rest so much, I thought nothing of it."

Don chuckled. "Apparently. I'll go get him up."

"Okay."

Don took the stairs slowly, trying not to bother his aching ribs. Charlie was still asleep when Don entered his room. Don could see his little brother was still bothered by something and he wondered what.

"Buddy? Buddy, wake up." Don said as he shook Charlie's shoulder.

Charlie shot up in bed, surprising Don.

"Hey, whoa, whoa. Take it easy." Don held his hands up in surrender.

Charlie blinked a few times and then focused on his brother.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he rubbed a hand over his left eye.

"It's almost six thirty. I came for dinner. I figured you'd like to know that we have five guests also joining us."

"Five? Who the hell did you two invite?" Charlie jumped out of bed and headed for his dresser.

Don laughed at him. "Megan, David, Colby, Amita, and Larry."

"Damn it," Charlie cursed as he fought to pull out one of his dresser drawers.

"Here. Let me help you." Don moved over and pulled the dresser open. Charlie took out a clean dress shirt and went to the bathroom, closing the door without another word to his brother.

Charlie had rushed into the bathroom, not just to hurry to get ready, but to escape his brother. He had been surprised by his brother's appearance and wasn't prepared yet to deal with him. He wasn't ready. He needed time to prepare. Before he fell asleep, he'd been worried about Don finding out and immediately after, Don was there. That wasn't enough time.

Don shook his head. That had been interesting. He went back downstairs and waited for the guests to arrive. Charlie got downstairs five minutes before seven and thankfully no one had arrived yet. Don was surprised to see his brother's hair was even dry.

Megan and Larry were the first ones to arrive. Megan looked nice in a pale blue v-neck shirt and a black skirt. Don always thought it was funny to see her dressed up since she's usually dressed plainly for her FBI work.

"Charlie!" Megan exclaimed when she saw Charlie standing by the foot of the steps. Charlie smiled as she came over and gave him a hug.

"How are you doing? It's been so long, I was starting to think Don really had been lying to me."

Charlie chuckled. "I'm good."

"Good!"

Larry came over and shook Charlie's hand. The two exchanged a brief conversation.

"Where's Alan?" Megan asked Don.

"Working his ass off in the kitchen."

Megan laughed. "I'll go see if he needs help."

Megan went into the kitchen and found Alan carving a pork roast. He looked up when she walked in.

"Hi Alan," she said as she came up to him. The two hugged and Megan placed a kiss on Alan's cheek.

"Well, you look stunning."

"Thank you. Do you need any help?"

"No, I just finished up." A look passed his face and Megan looked at him in concern.

"Alan? Is everything okay?"

Alan looked around and took her by the elbow, leading her to the far end of the kitchen.

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Of course. What's going on?"

"Charlie... Charlie's been having a rough time lately."

"Well, that's understandable, isn't it?"

"Well, it's not just that. He... he's blind in his left eye."

Megan gasped and placed a hand over her mouth. "What?"

"Yes. Apparently the injury caused him to lose sight in that eye."

"Oh my goodness. Does... does Don know?"

"No, and that's why it has to be a secret. Charlie's been worrying himself to death that Don will find out and beat himself up over it."

"Those two. They worry as much as mother hens." She shook her head.

"I know. Do you think... could you talk to him some time?"

"Of course, Alan."

"Thank you."

Don walked in and saw the two in the corner. He raised a brow in question. "Did I miss something?"

Alan smiled, hiding the worry that had been on his face seconds before. "Nothing. Is everybody here?"

"Yeah, that's why I came to get you."

"Okay. We'll be there. Have everyone sit down."

Megan smiled at Alan and gave his arm a squeeze before leaving the kitchen.

Though it was a pleasant evening, Megan had trouble keeping her mind off Charlie's blind eye. Studying him closely, she could see small things that he did that showed it. Of course, you had to know to look for it for you to be able to see it. She was determined to talk to Charlie soon and hoped she would be helpful.

Charlie did enjoy the night with his friends. He was a little scared, though, being with all those people. He prayed no one noticed.

And he feared that by the way Megan was looking at him, she already knew.

Would she tell Don?

**Well, that didn't take too much longer. It's a little shorter than usual, I think, but not too bad. I hope to be able to update again by Wednesday or Thursday. See you then!**

**Title of last chapter come from "Now Comes The Night" by Rob Thomas and this one comes from the song "I'm Still Here" by the Goo Goo Dolls.**


	11. You Keep on Building The Lie

Alan hoped his plan would work. After Charlie confessed to being blind in his left eye, he decided Megan would be someone worth telling. He trusted the agent and knew she was good with helping people out emotionally. He just hoped Charlie would listen to her. He knew his son wouldn't seek psychiatric help, though Alan knew his son would need it.

The evening together went well. Charlie enjoyed all the laughter and liveliness in the room. He still felt uncomfortable under Alan and Megan's scrutiny. He had a feeling she knew, which caused him to feel panicked. He trusted her, but if she thought Don knew, what if she let it slip?

"Charlie? Charlie!" Alan spoke loudly, trying to get his son's attention. He couldn't help but notice the look of the "other brood."

Charlie jumped, startled out of his thoughts. He heard a few snickers around the table. "What?"

"I asked you if you want some more pie about five times already. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, thanks. No more pie for me, please."

He looked over at Megan and saw her eyes were on him, rather than Larry who was discussing something with her. Charlie blushed and turned away from her gaze.

"So Whiz Kid, when do you think you'll be back to consulting for us again?" Colby asked.

"I'd say in a couple weeks, before I start back teaching."

"Oh, yes, Charles, CalSci is definitely lacking when you're not around. Many of my students have approached me about you. You are sorely missed," Larry spoke.

"Well, thank you, Larry, but I doubt I'm that missed."

"Come on, Buddy, everyone at work keeps asking me about when you'll be back, especially Colby over there." Don grinned at the agent.

"So I worry about the kid. Big deal. That doesn't mean I 'm dying without him."

Charlie made a hurt face. "I see how it is. You don't even miss me."

"Yeah, Colby. Shows how much you care." David lightly hit his friend on the arm.

"That's just heartless," Megan added to it.

"I never said I didn't miss him I just said-" When the four all began giggling, he gave up. "Shut up."

Laughter roared across the table.

"You guys should have Amita help you out for a while. I know she is more than capable," Charlie suggested once the laughter died down.

Amita blushed. "I don't know."

"Well, come on, Amita, you've helped Charlie out before," Don commented.

"I don't know. It's not really my thing. It's so much pressure to be right. I mean, lives depend on it."

"Oh, I'm sure you'd be fine." Megan didn't doubt her intelligence.

"Maybe. Okay?"

"Fair enough," Don agreed.

"Well, I hate to eat and run, but I really should be going. It was a wonderful meal, Mr. Eppes," David said as he stood.

"How many times do I have to tell you kids to call me Alan?"

"Alan, right. Thank you."

"You're quite welcome."

"I'd better be going, too." Colby also stood.

"Well, thank you both for coming. Come back anytime."

"I may just take you up on that offer some day, Alan. See you guys!"

"Bye," everyone chorused.

"Here, I'll see you out." Don followed them toward the door.

Slowly the group of guests began to leave until the Eppes men were alone together. Alan worked in the kitchen doing dishes, though Don was supposed to be helping him.

Charlie sank onto the couch, tired from the long day he'd had. He was proud of himself for holding things together so well. He had expected to break down. Megan hadn't mentioned anything to him, for which he was thankful.

Don followed his brother into the living room and sat down across from him.

"Dad said you had a rough day today. Something wrong?"

Charlie was so tired he didn't want to lie... but he had to. "I don't know. I've just been really tired, that's all."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

From the way Don was talking, Charlie though it sounded like he knew about his blindness and was trying to get him to come out about it. But Don couldn't know... could he?

"No, I'm okay."

Don leaned forward. "Look, I know you've had a really hard time lately..." Seeing the look on his brother's face, Charlie interrupted him.

"Which isn't your fault."

Don gave him a small smile. "Okay. As I was saying, you've had a really rough time lately. I know how hard it's been for you. I just want you to know that you don't have to rush into anything. If you're not ready to start consulting again for another three months, I'll understand. Come back when you are ready, okay?"

Charlie smiled at his brother's concern. "I know, Don. It's okay. I'll be back when I'm ready, which should be in a couple weeks."

"As long as you know."

"I do."

"Aren't you supposed to be helping me, Donnie?" Alan called from the kitchen.

Don rolled his eyes. "Yes, Father."

Charlie grinned at his brother as Don went into the kitchen to help their father.

He remained on the couch and let his thoughts take over. He feared the idea that his brother could find out. He didn't want him to know, but if Don were to find out, he wanted to be the one to tell his brother. He didn't like that his father knew, and possibly Megan, too. And if Megan knew, she'd probably tell Larry. Eventually, word would get around. He feared that. But what he also feared was that his father would break. Alan had never been good at lying and had never liked to lie to his sons. Charlie knew that and hoped that since this was such an important secret that his father would be able to keep it.

Charlie ended up worrying himself to sleep. Don and Alan found him there, slumped on the couch.

Don smiled. "I guess he had a long enough day."

"Yeah, he did."

"I asked him if he was okay, but he said he was just tired. Do you think he really is okay?"

No, Alan didn't. "I'm sure he's fine." He hated lying to his son.

"I hope you're right."

Don went over to his brother on the couch. He leaned down and gently shook his brother's shoulder. "Come on, Buddy. You'll be more comfortable in bed."

Charlie turned over in his sleep and moaned. Don looked at his father and smiled. "Can you at least put your arms around my neck?"

When his brother remained limp, Don grabbed his brother's arms and put them over his shoulder before scooping his little brother in his arms. It would have been just as easy to wake Charlie, but Don wanted his brother to get as much sleep as he could.

"I'll help you," Alan said quietly as he cut Don off at the steps. He went upstairs and pulled down Charlie's covers. Don followed close behind and laid his brother on the bed. Alan covered his son up and bent to kiss his son's forehead. He ran a hand soothingly down the left side of Charlie's face. He hated knowing Charlie couldn't see on that side of his face.

"It reminds me of nights when you boys would fall asleep out of bed and your mother and I would carry you upstairs and tuck you in. I guess sometimes you boys still need a little bit of that care."

Don squeezed his father's shoulder. "Let's let him get some sleep."

"Okay."

Quietly the two slipped out of Charlie's room. On the way down the steps, Don turned to his father.

"You do know that I was faking being asleep most of the time, right? I just was too lazy to get to bed myself... and I enjoyed the extra attention."

Alan smiled sadly. "I'm sorry if you ever felt neglected, Donnie."

Don waved it off. "Don't worry about it."

At the bottom of the stairs, Alan grinned. "I always knew you were faking, but your mother was always convinced you two were asleep. I think she enjoyed it more than you did."

"Probably. I guess I'll crash here tonight, okay?"

"Of course. It's more than okay. Need anything?"

"No, I'm good. 'Night, Dad."

"Good night, Don." Alan pulled his youngest into a hug. He loved having both his boys at home. Then everything felt right.

* * *

Megan came over the next day. Charlie was surprised to see her come alone, though he should have expected it. He didn't like the idea that she may know. He should have asked his father. 

"Hi, Charlie. Can I come in?"

"Sure." Charlie stepped back for her to enter. She smiled at him and walked inside.

"So, last night was fun. I was beginning to wonder about what Don had told me about you."

"Really? You didn't need to."

"I guess not."

Alan walked in to see who had come and smiled when he saw Megan.

"Ah, Megan. How good to see you again. Something I can do for you?"

"I just came to talk to Charlie."

The three stood in silence for several long minutes until Charlie grew uncomfortable.

"Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

"How you're dealing with only seeing out of one eye."

Charlie's eyes grew large and he swung around to run away. His father caught him, though.

"It's okay. It's okay. She knows not to tell Don. Calm down." Charlie fought against his father, pushing to get past.

"Charlie." Megan walked up to him and turned his face with her hands.

"Charlie, look at me."

Charlie's eyes shifted to his father a moment.

"No, look at me, not your dad."

Charlie finally lifted his gaze to hers, though he felt uncomfortable. He just wanted to run.

"It's okay. I know you don't want Don to know. It's up to you to tell Don, not me, not your father. Okay? I won't breathe a word to anyone... not even Larry."

Charlie sank a little in relief and stopped struggling. Alan gave his son a quick squeeze across the shoulders to comfort him. "It'll be okay, kiddo. You can trust Megan."

Charlie knew that. It wasn't trust that he was worried about. He just didn't want to talk about it. If he did, he would have called a psychiatrist. What if Don showed up and saw Megan here? He'd ask questions. What if she started coming over a lot? Don couldn't be fooled over it for too long and Megan would have to tell Don a better answer than "just visiting" or something like that. What if he knew? What if he found out?

"Can we talk?" Megan asked when Charlie didn't respond anymore.

He nodded and let her guide him to the living room. Alan left them to their privacy and went out back to feed the koi.

Megan sat down on the couch so she could see Charlie from the arm chair across from her. He looked nervous and she wondered why. It was obvious to her that he didn't want Don to know and she could see that the idea that he might find out scared him. She would just have to find out why.

"So, how long have you known about your eye sight, Charlie?"

"It hasn't been official for long, but I haven't been able to see out of my left eye since my vision started returning."

"So you thought there was still some hope that your vision would return?"

"Dr. Smith says there's still a slim chance, but it isn't likely to happen. I've given up on that idea."

"Why?"

"Because I don't think it'll happen. I've gotten used to the idea. I don't see a reason in hoping to get it back just to have to face the reality that there's no longer any chance that my vision will return in that eye."

"Don't we all need a little hope, even if it's something we think is impossible?"

Charlie shrugged. "I'm not saying there's no reason to hope in anything. I just don't think I should be hoping for something that statistically is nearly impossible to happen."

Megan smiled. "I see... What's with the idea that you can't tell Don about it? Why not? He's your brother. He has a right to know."

"We all have rights. I have a right not to tell him."

"Fair enough. But why not?"

"I don't want him to feel guilty about it. He worries enough that he's failing in his job as a big brother. I don't want him to think that he's right."

"Wouldn't he be a better brother if he'd be able to help you get through it, though?"

"Maybe. I just don't want him to have to go through this guilt."

"What guilt?"

"He brought me there that day. He already blamed himself for my injury. If he knew that I was blinded in one eye because of it, he'd nearly kill himself with guilt. He'd never forgive himself."

"So you think it's his fault, too?"

"No!" Charlie screamed in outrage. "I know Don would never do anything to purposely hurt me."

"Why can't you tell Don that?"

"I've tried, but he doesn't listen. I wish he would. He blames himself for everything that goes wrong. He doesn't need to take it all on himself."

"Isn't that what you're doing right now? You're trying to take this all on yourself, but it's hard. Your father knows now and so do I. If you tell Don, you won't have to keep holding this secret on yourself and it won't become a heavier and heavier burden to you."

"If Don can do it, so can I. He's protected me from enough already. I should be able to protect him from this one thing."

Megan let this sink in with Charlie. Moments later, she leaned forward. "But you're not Don."

Charlie felt tears of anger and resentment prick his eyes.

"I don't have to be Don. I can do it! You don't think I can?"

Seeing how he was getting upset, Megan argued, "I never said-"

"You didn't have to! That's what you meant, isn't it? Only Don is strong enough to protect someone else. No one else can be so good at hiding the truth to save someone else from pain or guilt. Is that what you think? Am I not strong enough? Am I not good enough to protect my brother?"

"No, Charlie. You misunderstood what I meant. I-"

"Well I can! I can be strong enough! I will be because I can take care of my family just fine on my own, without letting anyone know about my eye!"

Charlie ran out the door and into the backyard. He had to get away. He sank to his knees when he got to the edge of the koi pond. He just stared down into the water, watching the fish swim around and searched for a pattern to the way they swam.

Alan, who had been close by, was surprised when he saw his son come bolting out the door. It worried him when he saw Charlie begin to fill the pond with his own tears. He rushed to his son's side and took him in his arms to comfort his son.

Megan watched the exchange, sorry she had been the cause. She wiped at her eyes when she could see Charlie begin to cry. She hadn't meant for it to happen. Her conversation with Charlie had shown her how much he cared about Don. Megan hadn't meant to upset Charlie. She knew he could be just as strong. What she was implying was that Charlie didn't have to be like Don.

It was obvious how much the Eppes men cared about each other. She hated to see it go to waste when they wouldn't express it. Megan knew Alan tried, but he also tried to lighten how much affection he showed. It was because he was afraid of how his sons would react to too much displays of affection that Alan didn't show more. Megan found that sad.

She found a small piece of paper and a pen. She wrote a note to Alan asking him to call her, if he needed anything or just to talk. She figured Charlie would wait a while before contacting her. When he did, she'd explain.

With one last look out the kitchen window, Megan smiled and let herself out.

Sometimes she didn't know about those boys.

* * *

Charlie finally escaped his father's grasp. He had quit crying a while ago. When he finally said he couldn't breathe, Alan let go. 

"Dad... did you tell Megan about my eye?"

"Yes. Didn't you know?"

"Well I figured as much, but why? Why did you have to tell her?"

"Because I knew you would never get the help on your own. You've been refusing to see a psychiatrist. Megan is good with people. I thought she could help you."

"It was bad enough you found out! I didn't tell anyone for a reason. I didn't want anyone to know; that's why I asked Dr. Smith to keep it private!"

"Well, I don't understand why."

"Because I don't want Don to find out!" Charlie couldn't believe his father's trouble understanding that.

Alan sighed. He'd heard it before. "I know that, okay? But don't you think you can trust me - your _father_ - enough to tell me about it?"

"That's just it, Dad. I wanted to trust you, but I didn't want you to have to lie to Don, too. I thought it'd be easier on my own."

"It's an awfully big burden for you to carry alone, Charlie. You need someone else to share the load."

"No, I don't! I was doing fine before you found out. I wish I'd never told you. Do me a favor and not tell anyone else, okay?"

"Charlie!" Alan called when his son walked away, but Charlie wouldn't stop.

He went up to his room and angrily slammed the door. From outside, Alan could even hear it.

Alan went inside and washed his hands. He sighed as he slumped over the sink. He hated fighting with his sons. It had proven difficult already, knowing about Charlie's eye. He wondered how much longer it would last. He rubbed his temples as the feeling of a headache about to begin became noticeable.

He didn't hear Don enter the house until his son came through the kitchen door.

"Hey, Dad. I was wondering where you guys were. Did I just see Megan coming from over here?"

"Yes. She was visiting with Charlie." Alan sighed.

"Oh... you okay? You seem a little tense." Don pulled off his tie and draped it across the back of one of the chairs.

"I'm okay. Your brother and I just got into a bit of an argument and now I feel a headache starting."

"Well, sit down a minute. Take a break. What did you guys fight about?"

Alan fought for an answer. "Well, apparently I'm smothering your brother."

Don gave a small chuckle.

"Do you have something you'd like to add?" Alan asked.

"Well, you do smother him, Dad. Why do you think I have my own apartment?"

"I don't know why since you're here all the time."

"Ouch. You got me there. Seriously, though, if it bothered Charlie that much, he'd move out or kick you out."

"The latter makes more sense since this is his home."

"Right. Let me go talk to him, okay?"

"Fine."

"It'll be okay." Don patted his father on the back before he headed up the stairs to talk to his brother.

Charlie stalked around the room angrily. His dad had no right to tell Megan and Megan shouldn't try to tell him he's not strong enough. It's what they both were trying to say. He couldn't take that. Why couldn't they see he was strong enough to protect his brother?

As Don slowly opened the door, Charlie moved toward the wall and slammed it with a hard punch.

"Whoa!" Don called, surprised to see the force behind his brother's punch. With that power, Don knew it was going to hurt.

"Damn it," Charlie hissed as he brought his fist to his chest. It hurt, but he didn't care.

"Are you all right?" Don asked.

"Fine. I'm perfect." The sarcasm was more than clear.

"You want to talk about it?"

"No!" Charlie punched the wall again, repeating the same curse afterward.

"Take it easy, Buddy!"

Charlie felt the pain cause tears to form in his eyes. He tucked his fist in his pants pocket, hiding it from view.

"Just calm down, okay? Sit down on the bed. Please," Don fought to soothe his brother.

Charlie panted loudly and sat down on his bed with a loud thud. He felt exhausted, but he knew that in a matter of minutes he'd want to do something again.

"Are you okay now?"

"No! Damn it, Dad won't let me be alone for five minutes! I hate how he thinks I'm a baby and I need to be taken care of. Sure, I'm not rough-and-tough Don, the FBI agent. That doesn't mean I can't take care of myself and anyone else if I want to."

"Of course not."

"Why can't Dad see it? I'm capable of taking care of myself!"

Charlie punched a pillow and grunted, anger welling inside him.

"Hey, look at me. Look at me."

Charlie raised his gaze to his brother's face.

"Dad doesn't think you can't take care of yourself. He's a father. It's what he's supposed to do. Sometimes, he pretends we're more in need than we really are because he needs us to be. I know he knows you're capable of taking care of yourself, but he doesn't want you to be."

"Damn it." Charlie moaned again, only this time because he knew his brother was right. Though he was supposed to be the genius, sometimes his brother was a lot smarter than him.

"I hate when you're right." Charlie leaned back so that he was lying on his bed.

Don chuckled. "That happens, what, once a year?"

Charlie smiled through his anger, cooling his temper.

"Let me see your hand."

Charlie pulled his hand out of his pocket and put it in his brother's hands.

"Man, you did a number on it. I didn't know you could hit that hard. Remind me never to cross you."

Charlie smiled at his brother's compliment.

"All it'll need is some ice." Don stood. "You comin'?"

"No. I'll stay here."

Don smiled. "I'll bring that ice then."

"Thanks."

"And Charlie?"

"Yeah?"

"You're going to have to face Dad eventually."

Charlie knew that and he hated the thought. He just wished this whole nightmare was over with for good.

**Success! I got another chapter finished! Oh, it's amazing I'm still awake. This has been a trying week, to say the least. Oh, I just want to go home and go to bed, but I still have another class, and then some of my favorite shows are on. Well, at least this is the last class for the day.**

**The title for this chapter comes from Sarah McLachlan's song "Angels." If anyone has any ideas for song titles, let me know, okay?**


	12. The Moment of Truth in Your Lies

Charlie stumbled out of bed early the next morning after hearing the clattering of pots and pans. He watched his dad in the kitchen and could see he was struggling with himself. Charlie frowned because he knew he was partly to blame for his father's distress.

"Damn." Charlie was surprised to hear his father curse. Alan pressed his hands to his face and sighed as he stopped to take a moment. He felt guilty for pressuring Charlie and for betraying his son's trust.

"Dad?"

He jumped when the center of his thoughts spoke from behind him. He smiled softly at his son.

"Hey, kiddo. I, um, I was going to make us some eggs. Is that okay? Will it be enough?" Alan turned his back to his son and got out some eggs from the refrigerator.

"Dad, stop. Please."

Alan stood and looked at his son.

"What?"

"Just... stop. Okay? Sit down." Charlie pulled his father by the arm and led him to a chair at the kitchen table.

"What is it? Are you okay?"

"No, because you're not okay. Look, Dad, I never meant to make you feel bad about what happened yesterday. I mean, I was kind of mad at you for telling Megan, but I understand you were trying to help me. Please, don't feel so bad about this. Okay?" Charlie reached out and squeezed his father's arm.

Alan nodded, tears in his eyes. "I'm just so sorry, kiddo. I-I didn't mean to upset you. I-I-I just wanted to help you and I know now that I just ruined it."

"Dad, no. Don't talk like that. I-I was upset it and I wasn't thinking clearly. It wasn't your fault."

"Well, I know there had to be some truth in what you were saying. I was being insensitive toward your feelings. I should have been more understanding."

"Dad, you can't understand. Only people who are going through this would. It's not really something you can imagine or pretend. You have to live it to understand. And with my situation, it's even more difficult. I can't put into words how much I don't want Don to find out. I know you can understand that because you know how hard Don pushes himself and how hard he'll be on himself when he finds out. But it's also different because he's my brother. There's something between us that makes us understand things about each other others don't get.

"The main thing that bothered me was how you made me feel so... so weak. I've always known Don is the strong one and I'm supposed to be the smart one. I get that. You wouldn't call Don stupid, would you, just because I'm the smart one?"

Alan shook his head.

"Of course not! Don can still have brains even though I'm supposed to be so much smarter. It's not fair to judge me weakly because Don is stronger. I know that, but I have my own strengths, and not just in intelligence. They're not the same as Don's, but when it comes to my family, I can be strong, too."

Alan smiled. "I know, son. I know. You are strong. Maybe I lost sight of that, but I know you are. You've gone this long already without anyone's help, though you've been blind in one eye. You've made it through without hardly any difficulties. You're amazing."

Charlie blushed, now embarrassed. "Really?"

"Of course." Alan leaned forward and hugged his son tightly.

"I know you are strong. I believe in your strength. And if you don't want anyone else to know, that's what you'll get. I'm sorry I seemed to doubt your strength. I didn't mean to. I was merely suggesting that you shouldn't have to be alone in this."

"I'm not alone. I have you."

"Yes, my boy, and you always will." Alan winked at Charlie and stood.

"Now, let me get to making those eggs, okay?"

Charlie smiled, relieved that things were now okay with him and his father. They'd keep this a secret as long as they could.

But how long would that be?

* * *

Don came over later that morning to grab a bite to eat. 

"You guys okay now?" he asked when he walked into the kitchen and found Charlie and Alan eating together.

"What? We weren't before?" Charlie asked with a grin.

Don smiled back and went to the stove.

"Got any left for me?"

"Of course. There's plenty."

"Good, I'm hungry."

Don dished himself a plate of eggs and put a piece of bread in the toaster. He took his plate and set it down at the table before getting himself a cup of coffee. By the time he finished pouring the cup, the toast came up. He returned to his spot at the table and sat down.

"So I guess I made it at a good time?" Don asked between bites.

"What are you talking about? We're fine now, okay? What more do you want?" Charlie waved a hand at his brother.

"I was hoping to see you guys fight it out, you know, John Wayne style."

"Ha ha, very funny. Eat your eggs." Alan shoved his son playfully on the arm.

"What? You guys need to stop being so touchy all the time."

"Hush." Alan pointed to Don's eggs to signify he needed to eat. Don rolled his eyes and obeyed, feeling like a little kid.

Charlie sat in silence as he ate his eggs. He was deep in thought, thinking of how his brother hadn't found out yet. His father was to his left at the moment, so he didn't want to try to focus on him right now. Don on the other hand was sitting almost directly in front of him, so his brother wouldn't notice any difference in the way he looked at him. He just hoped his father wouldn't direct any questions at him for a while.

"So, Don, how's work going for you right now? It seems every time you come over we just talk about me," Charlie started a conversation.

"It's okay. I think things have slowed down since you haven't been around, but it's good."

"I'm glad to hear it. Before you know it, I'll be back."

"Not soon enough for me, Buddy."

Charlie smiled, happy to be missed by his brother. He missed getting to work with Don. He now spent his days at home being bored basically. Things had improved once he was able to do more things. He just couldn't wait until he could do things full time and get back to work. He actually missed work.

* * *

Charlie returned to teaching at CalSci four weeks later, having already started back with the FBI. He thrilled with the pressure, with the rush to get things done. Already there was never a dull moment, much unlike the many weeks before. He loved being back into his old routine. 

His students noticed the change in the way he taught, how he wrote on the chalkboard. He never went very far to the left on the chalkboard. There was always the same cutoff point. Though they noticed, none thought much more of it and just accepted it as the way he wrote. They were just happy to have their teacher back.

Charlie was surprised when Megan showed up at his office around his lunch time. She was leaning against his desk when he walked in from his last class.

"Megan. What are you doing here?" He had seen the agent briefly, having worked on the case, but the two had remained apart most of the time.

"I came to apologize, Charlie."

"Is there something new about the case?" He didn't want to talk about it.

"Charlie, please. We need to talk." She reached out and grabbed his arm gently. He turned to her with an annoyed glance.

"So talk. What do you have to say?"

His words stung her. She didn't mean for it to be so bad.

"Please, listen. Your dad just wanted what is best for you. He told me because he knew you wouldn't ask anyone else for help. I haven't told anyone and I never plan to. This is your information to give out to whoever you please. I know it was wrong of you dad to tell me without your permission, but I promise I will never tell anyone. Okay?"

Charlie softened a bit, though he didn't want to. He had forgiven his father so easily. Why hadn't he forgiven Megan yet?

Because she had wounded his pride.

"Look, it's okay. I get it. I don't care that much that you know. It's just..."

"What, Charlie?"

He sighed. "I-I don't appreciate you telling me that I'm too weak to take care of my family."

"Oh, no! That's not what I meant at all! I know you can do this. You're brilliant, Charlie. You're more than capable of taking care of your family. I know that."

"No, you don't. You assume that I can take care of my family with my brains. Well, I can have strength, too, Megan. I'm not just some genius who is only good for his brains. The way I told Dad, you wouldn't call Don stupid because I'm the smart one, would you?"

"No, never. Your brother is very intelligent."

"Exactly! But, see, with me, people know me by my brains. They don't even think about my other traits. Sure, I don't shoot guns and I have never won a fist fight before, but when it comes to my family, I know what I have to do. I know how to take care of them and you implied that I didn't. Maybe you didn't mean to, but I know that's what most people think. It happens. I understand that. But, please, try to consider me as a person, not just a genius."

Megan smiled softly. He'd definitely gotten his point across.

"Okay, Charlie. I get it. I'm sorry if I made you feel weak. I know you're stronger than that, now at least."

"Thank you. You're forgiven."

"Good." She reached out and hugged Charlie.

"I'd better go see Larry. He'll wonder why I haven't come to see him yet."

"Okay. I'll see you later."

"Bye, Charlie."

"Bye."

Charlie was relieved to have that settled with Megan. He didn't like being mad at her. It was better to be on good terms with someone who could potentially save your life.

The next day Charlie was working at the board when his brother walked in. Since the door was to his left and Don slipped in quietly, he didn't hear or see his brother enter.

Don watched his brother work, amused at Charlie's obliviousness to his presence. He'd come to get some time with his brother. He was attempting to make up for the time they missed when they were supposed to go to the batting cages.

"Knock, knock," Don said with a grin, already anticipating Charlie's reaction.

Charlie jumped, causing him to draw a squiggly radical sign. "Don! How many times do you have to do that?" He placed his hand over his rapidly beating heart.

"It never gets old and you never learn."

Charlie rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. "So... what are you doing here? Any changes in the case?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. I want to take you out for lunch. You're free right now, aren't you?"

"Yeah, until two. Are you ready now?"

"Unless you're busy, yeah."

"Okay. Let me finish this real quick." Charlie quickly jotted down the ending of his algorithm and then turned back to his brother.

"Done."

Don chuckled. "Buddy, what's up with the board? Is there something wrong with that side?" He pointed to a section to the left of the board that was completely empty.

Charlie felt his pulse race again. He hadn't noticed that he'd been doing that. Usually, when he looked at the board he just concentrated on the section he was reading or writing on. Would Don think too far into it?

"I, uh, I don't know. I guess I was just too wrapped up in what I was doing to pick that side."

Don shook his head. "Whatever, Buddy. Come on. Let's go get something to eat."

"Okay." Charlie breathed a little easier when his brother didn't continue the topic any more.

When they stepped outside the campus building, Charlie expected to go to Don's car. When they didn't, he questioned his brother.

"Where are we going?"

"There's a new place down the street I want to try. It's called Dias Buenos. It's some Mexican place. I thought you might like it. It's close enough to walk and you know how traffic is this time of day."

"Doesn't that mean 'happy days' in Spanish?"

"I don't know. Does it?"

"I'm pretty it sure it does."

Don shrugged. "Well, it isn't very original, but who cares? Megan said she and Larry tried it and liked it."

Charlie smiled, even though by now he should be used to Larry and Megan dating. Don smiled, too.

"Well, it must be good if Larry liked it. He's a pretty picky eater."

"Is he really?"

Charlie shook his head as they stopped before getting to cross the street. "The lunch ladies hate him because he has to have his food a certain way."

Don laughed. "Is he still living out of his office?"

"Yes. I've offered him our guest room like a million times. He keeps saying he doesn't want to have to deal with furnishing a house."

"What? It's not that hard," Don said before they made a mad dash across the street.

"I know! It's not like he doesn't have enough money, either. Has Megan said much about it?"

"Too much. She tells me to tell you to talk some sense into him. Of course, she'd never tell him to stop."

"Of course not. Is this it?" Charlie looked up at the sign.

"Yep. This is the place. I hope it's not too crowded." He held the door open for his littler brother.

"Thanks."

They were seated quickly, but it was still rather packed inside. They sat at a booth and waited for someone to take their order.

"My next class will not appreciate this."

Don chuckled. "I bet not. So what are you getting?"

"I was thinking the fajita rollups. How about you?"

"Tacos."

Charlie smiled when a waitress came up to take their orders. When she left, he turned back to his brother.

"So what's the catch? Did Dad send you to keep an eye on me?"

Don was surprised and felt a little hurt. He didn't want his brother to think that every time he took his brother out "just because" that he'd think he had a plan behind it.

"No. I just wanted to spend some time with you. That's all."

"Oh." Charlie felt a little embarrassed for assuming his brother was up to something for having lunch with him. "Did you know I caught Dad peeking into my office yesterday?" He quickly changed the subject.

"No! Did he really?"

"Yes. Security took him away." He could barely contain the smile on his face.

"Get outta here!"

Charlie nodded his confirmation. Don broke into a fit of laughter and Charlie joined him.

Don ended up wiping his eyes from laughing so hard. But then he grew serious again.

"Buddy, I don't want you to think I have something up my sleeve every time I invite you out to eat or something. I just wanted to make up for the time we should have spent at the batting cages."

Charlie was touched that his brother cared that much. He had been upset about missing that time with his brother. He was happy his brother was trying to make up for that.

"I hope this time works out a little better." Don chuckled nervously.

"Don, you don't have to do this. Really."

"No, I want to. Look, you weren't the only one who was upset about missing time we'd spend together. I was looking forward to it, too, you know."

"You had?"

Don smiled softly. "Of course, Buddy. You're my brother and I want to spend time with you and not just at work. It was disappointing that we weren't able to spend more time together before but so soon after you were hardly able to do anything. I'm so glad you're okay now."

Charlie grinned at his brother. "I am, too. And, Don, I really don't think I would be here now as I am if it hadn't been for you."

"Well, thank you, Buddy, but I know it wasn't me. You have some strength in you, one I never realized was there before."

Charlie stared in surprise at his brother. He hadn't expected that.

The waitress brought their food and the serious talk was replaced by exchanges of the latest case and some simple conversation.

After Don insisted on buying, the two headed back to the CalSci campus. They had to stop again at the crosswalk and were surprised they were the only ones there to cross.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" Don asked as he enjoyed the view.

"Mm-hm." Charlie, however, was keeping his eye on the sign across the street. When it said "walk," he began to obey.

The sound of screeching tires was nothing new for Charlie. Working in LA, he had grown accustomed to the many sounds of traffic whizzing by. So he didn't think twice at the sound of screeching tires, signaling someone cutting a curve too fast. The car had run a red light and, coming from his left, he didn't see it coming at him.

"Charlie!" Don reached out and grabbed his brother. Every move seemed in slow motion. He waited for the outcome, praying his reflexes had been fast enough.

Charlie was yanked back by his brother in barely enough time. With the power Don had pulled him, he was knocked to the ground behind his brother.

"Charlie! My God, are you okay?" Don hit the ground in front of his brother, amazed he'd come out of the situation alive.

Charlie nodded, though his racing pulse and sick feeling in his stomach would normally suggest otherwise.

After Charlie's nod, Don took that as his permission to yell at him.

"What do you think you were doing? Were you trying to get yourself killed? My gosh, Charlie, how could you have not seen that truck? What, are you blind?"

Charlie flinched at the word. It only took a moment for Don to realize what he'd just said. Could it be?

Don grabbed Charlie's head, forcing his brother to look at him.

"Charlie, are you blind?"

Charlie remained silent, terrified.

"Are you?"

Charlie looked away from his brother's eyes, even when Don shook him roughly.

"Answer me!"

**Well, guys, I'm taking a leap of faith here. I hope my assumption that you guys will think it's time for Don to find out will prove correct. I'm sorry if you guys don't and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update. This is kind of a cliffhanger, but it's just leading up to more angst to come. You're not missing anything too important yet except for Don's reaction when Charlie tells him that he is blind in one eye.**

**Thank you to all those who have sent me lyrics to help! I appreciate it! Right now, the topics I want for lyrics would be something to do with guilt or pain or misery. Something along those line. So, if you feel productive, look for some and send them to me if you can. Thanks!**

**  
This chapter's title comes from the song "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls. Man, I need to stop using their songs. LOL**


	13. HopingThis Isn't How The Story Has to Go

Charlie had to take a moment to catch his breath. It had seemed to rush out of him at the word "blind."

"Well, answer me, damn it!" Don, who moments before had been concerned, was now raging with anger.

"Yes... in my left eye." Charlie finally managed to answer the question and he felt the ground go out from beneath him. What had he done?

Don couldn't name one emotion that described what he was feeling. Anger, hurt, guilt, betrayal. All mixed in his mind but only came out as anger.

"What the hell, Charlie! Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I didn't need to know?"

"I-I was trying to protect you."

"Protect me? Yeah, Charlie, you did a great job of that. Who else knows?"

"Dad... and Megan."

"What?" Don screamed, causing Charlie to flinch. "You told Megan before me?"

"Actually Dad told her."

"Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better. My own father couldn't tell me either!"

"Please, don't blame Dad, or Megan. I made them promise not to tell."

"Why? I had a right to know! I should have known about this sooner! How long have you known?"

"Since my vision started clearing."

"So you didn't tell me about it and lied to me for almost two months? Wow, I feel I can really trust my family."

"Don, please. I didn't mean for you to feel this way. I-I was just trying to protect you from the guilt."

"Yeah, well, you judged me wrong, pal. Not knowing is a hell of a lot worse because you didn't trust me enough to tell me!"

Don started to walk away so Charlie stood and grabbed his brother's arm.

"Don, wait-"

"Don't touch me!" Don shoved his brother hard, causing Charlie to fall to the ground.

Charlie watched his brother run into the blur of traffic, barely making it across the street before getting hit. As the cars moved past, he lost sight of his brother. He could feel the hole that separated him and his brother grow until he knew there was no way around it.

Charlie was overcome by a wave of tears. He hadn't mean for this to happen. He wondered how he could be such a genius yet still be capable of making such a huge mistake.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don sped away from CalSci, disgusted at the sight of it because it reminded him of his brother too much. His mind whirled with thoughts and at the center of it was an agonizing pain caused from his brother's betrayal.

He pulled over at an abandoned gas station and just sat for a long while. He knew he couldn't go back to work like this, though the pain he felt would always be first on his mind.

Don felt hot tears stream down his face. He couldn't believe Charlie had kept it from him for so long. If Charlie had told him right away, the main thing he'd feel would be guilt. But that wasn't the case now. Charlie had kept something extremely important from him. Don wasn't exactly in the forgiving mood.

Today had been so wonderful. He and his little brother were getting along so well. Don had actually felt closer to his brother. And then he had come close to losing him. And then this?

Don rounded his fist on the steering wheel as he grunted in anger. He didn't know what to do. He felt like his relationship with his brother had been broken indefinitely.

After regaining his composure, Don returned to work, feeling every bit as angry, but he now had it more under control... or so he thought.

"Don, I'm glad you're back. I just found-"

"I don't want to hear a word out of you, Reeves," Don said angrily before entering his office.

Megan was surprised at Don's outburst. She cautiously made her way to Don's office and looked at her boss.

"Oh. He told you."

"Didn't I say I didn't want to hear anything from you? Get to work."

"Don, you must be upset but Charlie was only-"

"I know. He was 'trying to protect me.' Go do your damn job!"

"Look, you have to give him a break-"

"Leave this building now! You're suspended!" Don screamed as he stood up, causing several heads to turn in their direction.

"For what, if I may ask, sir?"

"For disobeying orders. Get out of here."

"Of course."

Megan knew Don was just mad. Normally, she would have fought back, but she could see Don was in no mood for that. She supposed she had crossed the line by getting too personal. So she wouldn't complain too much about being suspended.

"Colby!" Don screamed for the agent.

"Yes, sir?" Colby wasn't about to take any chances of getting on Don's bad side, though he thought it was unfair of his boss to suspend Megan.

"Send Charlie a fax. Tell him to send all he's done so far and all the files he has back here. He's off the case."

"Okay." Colby couldn't keep the surprise and confusion out of his voice.

"Something you'd like to add, Granger?"

"No, sir. I'll get right on it."

"Good."

Don sat back down at his desk and faced a framed picture of him and his brother together. it brought on another wave of anger so he picked it up and threw it at the wall. The sound of shattering glass stilled the whole office.

Don knew he had to get a hold of himself and he wouldn't be able to do it at his office.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charlie returned to his office. He could see a fax waiting for him. He walked over to it and read what it said.

"No." Charlie choked on a sob. Don was cutting off all ties with him. He didn't even want him on the case anymore. If Don was that mad, how would he ever fix this?

Charlie decided to go home. He canceled his last class of the day, though he did take time to leave an assignment for his students. He rode his bike home and actually managed to get lost at one point.

He finally arrived home a little earlier than usual. Alan was surprised to find him home so soon. He had been sitting in the living room reading when Charlie came in.

"Charlie! What are you doing home so early?" Alan stood and came toward his son who stood frozen just inside the house.

"Charlie? Are you okay?"

The last few hours caught up with Charlie in a matter of seconds. As his body reacted, Charlie ran for the bathroom.

"Charlie!" Alan didn't know what was wrong with his son but he knew the sign that Charlie had to throw up. He followed his son into the bathroom and held Charlie's hair back for him.

As the retching subsided the tears and sobs came, making Charlie shake.

"What's the matter? Are you all right?" Alan dropped to the floor and turned his son away from the toilet and toward him after flushing the toilet.

"You were right, Dad. How could I have been so stupid?"

"What? What is it?"

Charlie turned misery-filled eyes to his father. "Don found out."

Alan gasped. "Oh, no." He feared how it went since it had caused such a reaction from Charlie.

"You were right, Dad. I should have told him sooner. Now... now he hates me."

"No! Your brother could never hate you."

"He can now! You weren't there, Dad. You didn't see his reaction. He-he thinks I betrayed him. And I don't know how to fix it."

Charlie leaned forward as his stomach lurched. He threw up once more, emptying his stomach of the remainder of its contents.

"I don't, I don't know what to do! He pulled me off the case and now there's nothing! There's nothing that'll keep us together. Nothing! Oh, God." Charlie hugged himself tightly as he began to rock back and forth.

Alan reached out and took his son in his arms, taking over hugging his son.

"Sh. It'll be okay. It'll all work out. I promise."

"No it won't! I-I've ruined it. I broke Don's trust. He can't even work with me anymore. Oh, God. How do I fix this?"

Hearing the signs of a panic attack in his son's voice, Alan held onto Charlie tighter.

"Calm down. It'll be okay. You'll see."

Charlie's cries turned into quiet shrieks muffled by his father's shirt. He felt his heart tear painfully in two. The relationship he had worked so hard to build with his brother came crashing down and it was all his fault.

After his tears were spent, he sought the comfort of the numbers. He went out in the garage and started a simple algorithm. Once finished, he stepped back and looked at it. He could see it was horribly wrong. Tears of frustration came as he furiously wiped the chalk off the board.

Charlie went to the couch in the garage and laid down and cried. He wished he could make it all go away but there was no point.

He had made the worst mistake of his life and not even math could fix it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alan called his oldest son when Charlie went out to the garage.

"Unless someone died, I really don't want to talk to you," Don snapped at his father. Alan was surprised at his son's anger toward him.

"Please, Donnie, don't take that tone with me. You're taking this way too far."

"Really, Dad? I think I'm taking it pretty normally considering my family has been lying to me!"

"Don, you've really upset your brother. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Yeah, well, he should have thought about that before he decided to lie to me."

"Please. He's extremely upset. He needs you."

"Too bad. He's the genius. He'll figure something out. Has he turned to P vs. NP yet?"

"Don, that's not fair."

"You know what else isn't fair? My family not having the decency to tell me that my brother is half blind because of me. How's that for fair?"

"Please, just-"

"I'm going away at the end of the week. I don't know how long I'll be. Don't expect to hear from me."

"Where are you-"

"Bye."

Alan stared at the phone in his hand for a long time. He felt tears come to his eyes. When he looked up he found Charlie watching him.

"Was that Don? Did he call?"

"No. I-I called him."

"What did he say?"

"He's going away for a while. He didn't say where."

"No!" Charlie screamed as he dropped to his knees.

"Charlie, what is it?"

"This is just like last time. I drove him away to Albuquerque. Now I've done it again. Oh, God."

"Oh, Charlie."

Alan held Charlie once more and the two cried together. Alan feared Charlie was right. He was afraid they had lost Don once more.

Would they get him back this time?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don knew he was being too cruel toward his family. He wasn't behaving like himself and that bothered him. But he did need some time away. This had struck him too hard. It was causing him to behave irrationally and he was losing control. He couldn't have that, not with his job.

He'd get Megan back and sign the case over to another agent. Since he'd never taken much more than a day off at a time he knew he could get about all the time he wanted. He wasn't sure yet where he'd go. He just knew he wouldn't tell Charlie or his father. Maybe he wouldn't tell anyone.

When he got to his apartment, he immediately went for his fridge full of beer. He drank so he wouldn't allow himself the chance to feel guilty. He drank so he could forget for a moment the pain he was feeling and the betrayal that hurt him to the core.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Larry came over later that evening to check on Charlie. He was surprised his friend had canceled a class so early in the quarter. There was a certain feel to the Eppes home that caused Larry to feel more concerned for his friend. He could see Alan was having some troubles and it scared him. He feared something horrible had happened.

Charlie was in the garage when Larry came in. He was staring at a math problem he had attempted over ten times and still had not come up with a solution.

"Charles, is everything okay?" Larry asked as he came toward his friend.

"I've tried this problem probably a dozen times... and I still don't have the solution. In the time you've known me, how often has that happened?"

"I'd say close to never. Charles, what's going on?"

"It's like what I've done to Don. I can't fix it now. It's unsolvable."

"Weren't you the one who said only those who have failed to solve problems will think that?"

"I suppose so. But this... this I don't think I can fix."

"Would you care to share with me this trifling dilemma you have with your brother?"

"I lied to him. I never told him something... something very important. And now I've betrayed his trust. I don't think I can fix it."

"I sincerely doubt it can be that bad, Charles. Perhaps you're overreacting?"

"No. I've ruined it. I don't think I'll be able to save my relationship with Don."

"Well, you must take into consideration that there will always be certain quarrels between brothers. They'll-"

"I'm blind, Larry! I can't see out of my left eye and I didn't tell Don! What kind of brother does that make me?"

"Oh, Charles, I-I had no idea."

"Yeah, well, neither did Don. Now he knows and I'll never gain his trust back."

"No, no. Don't talk like that. It'll work out some how. I'm sure there's a good explanation for why you didn't tell Don and when he calms down he'll see it, too."

"I was trying to protect him. How could I have been so wrong, though? This never should have happened. Never."

There was a knock on the door before Megan entered.

"Hi, guys. I saw your car here, Larry, and stopped in. How are you holding up, Charlie?"

"I'm not. How are you? I'm surprised you're still in one piece."

"It's okay. I just got suspended." Megan laughed it off.

"What?" Larry couldn't believe Don had gone so far.

"Not you, too." Charlie went to the couch and laid face down.

"What do you mean?" Megan went to him.

"I've ruined it for everyone. I never should have allowed you and Dad to get involved. Now I've got Don mad at the two of you also."

"It's okay, Charlie. It was my fault for stepping over the personal boundaries. Besides, I'm sure Don will have changed his mind by morning. It's no big deal!"

"I don't know what to do. Don told Dad that he's going to go away for a while and I don't know where. He wouldn't tell Dad. What if I've driven him away again?"

"What do you mean again?" Larry was confused.

"Well, Don never has said it, but that's why he left before. That's why he was in Albuquerque instead of LA. He couldn't take living near me anymore so he left."

"Charlie, I really don't think that's the case." Megan refused to believe that.

"I do, though. I was always bugging him. I-I promised myself I'd never chase him away again when he came back after Mom got sick. And that's exactly what I've done now."

Charlie pressed his face in the cushions on the couch to absorb the tears that spilled down his face. When his sobs reached Megan and Larry's ears, they both felt the pain for their friend. Both tried to help him by telling him assuring words and by patting him soothingly.

Charlie looked up at them with red-rimmed eyes. "The only thing is, how long is he going to be away this time?"

Neither had an answer for him.

**Wow, speed typer! LOL Thanks again for all the help you've brought with the lyrics!**

**Thanks to stealthy290 for this title from "Golden"by Switchfoot.**


	14. Running Away from Pain

Charlie could feel an aching pain in his back. When he turned over it felt even worse, but by then he could understand why it hurt. He was laying on the couch still and had spent the night there. His father must have brought him a pillow and a blanket because they hadn't been there before.

Charlie ran a hand over his pillow and could feel its dampness. He could remember crying last night, but the pillow wouldn't still be wet. He must have felt the power of his dreams more than he thought.

Charlie stumbled out of the garage and went inside his home. Alan was setting a plate of waffles on the table. He looked over when the side door opened and his son walked in. He smiled sadly at him, feeling the same weight as his son, though Charlie would have argued otherwise.

Silently Charlie sat down at the kitchen table and looked up at his father. He couldn't think of what to say.

"Has, um, has Don called?" It was the first thing on his mind, but he figured he already knew the answer.

"No. I'm sorry, kiddo." Charlie felt like crying again, but managed to keep from it.

He nodded in understanding. Don had a right to be upset. Charlie just couldn't stand it being this way.

"Did you sleep okay? I couldn't wake you so I left you out there to sleep. I hope you were warm enough."

Alan had hated seeing his son out there. He had found him curled up in a ball whimpering. Alan had stayed out there for an hour, just holding Charlie and rocking him back and forth. He wished he could do the same for his oldest. He knew Don was also hurting, maybe even worse than Charlie. But Don wouldn't let him in. He never really had.

Alan sat down beside Charlie and watched him eat. Charlie picked at his food and each bite seemed to stick at the lump in his throat.

"Oh my boy." Alan leaned forward and wrapped his arms tightly around Charlie, hoping to some how absorb his son's pain. The warm embrace of his father's arms made Charlie want to cry even more. He managed to only let a few tears slip. He leaned heavily against his father.

"Something good will come of this. I promise."

Charlie could only hope his father was telling the truth.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the end of the week, Don had decided to go into the woods, near the foothills of the San Gabriel Mountains. It wasn't too far away, but he knew he'd have to find a secluded area. He had picked a log cabin to rent. There he was far enough away to live in peace, but close enough to society that he could get help easily if he needed it. He honestly didn't plan on leaving the cabin if he could keep from it. He'd be off for a whole week. It would have to be enough time to deal with his troubles. Don figured it would be long enough at least for him to have a handle on his emotions. If he hadn't figured out what to do about him and Charlie by then he knew it could wait.

Don did feel loads of guilt. It was the only thing that kept him from completely leaving his brother and father for a while. He hadn't allowed why Charlie did it to seep in yet, but he did feel the guilt heavily. It had been bad enough knowing he had caused his brother lots of physical pain. He had been sorry enough for causing that. But the permanent damage he had done should have been unforgivable.

But Don hadn't seen any anger in his brother's face. He'd only seen fear. Don truly believed his brother when he'd said that it wasn't all his fault. Don had been the one to lay the blame on himself, not Charlie. He appreciated it, too.

But it wasn't enough. Don thought he and Charlie had come to the point where they trusted each other with private information. If that was so, Don should have been one of the first to find out about Charlie's eye, not Megan. He couldn't count the number of times he'd seen Charlie since the accident. He was an FBI agent! He should have seen that something was wrong. But, no, he was too blinded by wanting his brother to be okay to see that Charlie wasn't.

Don felt sorry for his brother. He felt responsible for why Charlie was half blind. But he also felt so... betrayed.

No bullet had hurt as much as his brother's betrayal. It was so wrong. Don couldn't begin to name all the feelings inside him. It was too much. It had been too important for Charlie not to have told him. He could have told him so many times. But he never did. When he finally told Don, it was because his brother could already see it.

Don ran a hand through his hair. He couldn't grasp his emotions and it bothered him. He felt a pressing need for control. He couldn't get it here, knowing his brother would be so close and would probably try to reach him. Don couldn't handle that right now. It was too hard.

He was actually getting ten days off. Today was his first day. He couldn't face any more time with Megan. She had tried to apologize three times then tried to get him to talk to Charlie five. He couldn't take that. It had been hard enough for him to keep his mind off his brother.

The next day would be spent traveling and resting. When he was to the point of full potential, he'd think. He'd think a lot over his vacation, until he finally came up with some way to forgive his brother or to get this resolved.

He had no idea how he'd do either.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After trying but failing to reach Don throughout the week, Charlie could hardly stand it. He'd heard from Megan that Don would be taking time off today. He couldn't find out where Don was going. Apparently his brother wasn't telling anyone, or at least anyone who could tell him.

On Friday night, the night before Don was to leave, Charlie and his father ate silently. Charlie, as usual, was lost in thought.

Alan, who seemed to have grayed more in the past few days in all his sixty-four years, was trying to hold himself together. He had tried and failed to talk to his oldest son. It was beginning to affect him. He couldn't continue like this. He had gone through it years before and he didn't want to have to again. He wasn't strong enough. Alan knew that it had affected Charlie last time, too.

Things had changed dramatically since then, though. Alan felt closer to his boys and he knew the two were closer now as well. It was more personal this time. It was too painful.

Charlie could think of no other way around it. Suddenly he stood up and Alan looked at his son.

"I'm going to him, right now."

Alan sighed with relief. "Thank God. Please... fix this."

"I will, Dad. I have to."

Charlie rode his bike quickly to his brother's apartment complex. Upon arrival, he quickly ran up the stairs and knocked on his brother's door.

Even mad at his brother, Don felt concern when he saw his brother standing outside his door.

"Is everything okay?" he asked when he opened the door, though his tone didn't exactly tell how concerned Don really was.

"No. Can I come in?"

Don stepped away from the door and let Charlie enter. He didn't want him here, but seeing how awful his brother looked kept him from slamming the door in Charlie's face.

"We-we have to talk." Charlie chastised himself for not thinking more about what he'd say.

"No, we don't. Is Dad all right?" Don knew his brother said something wasn't right, but he figured he was referring to their situation.

"No. He's miserable. I don't remember him looking so scared and sad, even when Mom was sick."

"Yeah, well, you didn't see him near the end, did you?" Don saw his brother flinch and took perverse pleasure in it.

"Don, I don't want to fight you. Please, hear me out."

"I'm listening. Talk. I need to get some sleep soon."

Charlie was pleased his brother had allowed him to get this far. He wouldn't stop now.

"Please. Don't go. You- you can't. We'll work something out together. It'll never get settled if you leave."

The desperation in Charlie's voice made Don want to cave, but he couldn't.

"I'm leaving. It's just for a week. I can't work it out with you when you're my biggest problem."

Charlie hated the way that sounded. He had to keep reminding himself that Don was upset. This wasn't normal behavior for his brother.

"I-I know we can get through this. We have to. It's killing Dad; it's killing me. I-I-I want want to be able to help you understand. I can't let you continue hating me."

"I never said I hated you." Don could actually feel his strong guard melt a little.

"Oh?" Charlie felt a glimmer of hope. "I'm glad to hear that. You have to understand that what I did was to protect you. It wasn't meant to hurt you, I swear. I'd never do something like that to intentionally hurt you. I just didn't want you to have to go through blaming yourself."

"Well, you chose wrong. Are we done?"

"No! Please, Don. You have to understand my side! I can't let you do this alone. I can't let you do this to Dad. Do it to me, or whatever you like, but don't punish Dad. He's suffered enough."

"You know, Charlie, I can do whatever the hell I want. You've been saying I have to do a lot of things and you think you can stop me from doing what I want to?" Don felt his anger rise so he took a deep breath to calm himself.

"Look, just go all right? I really don't want this to get any worse."

"Don, you can't-"

"I said go!"

_"You begin to wonder why you came."-The Fray in "How to Save a Life"_

Don's anger showed through once more, but Charlie stayed where he was.

"No. I won't leave you like this. It can't happen."

"Charlie, go. Now."

"No! I'm staying right here."

The two brothers faced off and glared at each other. When Don could see Charlie wasn't going to give up easily, he took matters into his own hands.

"Fine. We'll do this the hard way."

Charlie hated what was about to happen. He knew his brother was too strong for him to have a chance at stopping Don. His older brother grabbed him by the wrist and began to pull him to the door.

"No, Don, please! We can work this out! You can't do this!" Charlie screamed as he fought against his brother.

Don won quickly as he slung his brother out the door. Charlie caught himself on the railing outside and by the time he turned around Don had closed and locked the door, even going so far to hook the bolt and chain.

Don slammed the door behind him and slid his back against it until he reached the floor. Light tears came to his eyes.

Charlie wasn't going to leave so easily. He went to the door and pounded on it.

"Don! Please, don't do this! I'm sorry! I never meant for this to happen. Please believe me!" Charlie pounded on the door with his fists.

Don felt the impact of each blow physically. Each pound felt like a stab in his stomach. He had more trouble holding back tears.

"Don, no! It can't be like this! We gotta make this work! I won't go back to the way we were! I can't, Don! Don't make me. Please, don't make me!"

Don could hear the moment his brother fell against the door, heard him slide down. Then came the broken tears that also set off Don's tears.

"Please. Don, no. Please. Please. I-I-I love you. Please. Don't make it end like this. I need you. Don't leave me. Please."

Don heard his brother's quiet pleas, but he couldn't reach Charlie now. The brothers were separated by more than just a door now.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charlie gave up by eleven o'clock. He had begged his brother to stay, had asked to know where he was going. He had to reach him, but Don was at a place where Charlie's arms couldn't reach.

Charlie forgot he had brought his bike so he walked home. It was incredibly stupid of him. It was amazing he hadn't been mugged. He wouldn't have noticed, though.

He stumbled inside his home after midnight. He was surprised when his father appeared.

"I didn't expect you to be awake still." The emptiness in Charlie's voice made Alan find his answer quickly.

"What happened?"

Charlie remained silent for a long time before he turned to his father. "I-I lost him. I lost him and I don't think I'll get him back... I'm so sorry."

Charlie sank heavily onto one of the kitchen chairs, as though a great weight had pushed him down. In Alan's mind he saw his son age. He stepped to his son, hoping he could ease some of Charlie's ache.

When Alan placed his hands on Charlie's shoulders, Charlie flinched.

"Don't, please. I... I don't deserve your comfort."

Alan saw his son slip away from him. He could see such a similarity between his sons. He knew now that Charlie was just as strong as Don. They both fought alone. Neither had to. It was their choice to be alone.

Respecting his son's wish, Alan nodded and started to walk away. "Don't stay up too late, kiddo."

When Alan was out of sight, Charlie dropped his head to his hands. He couldn't cry. He had brought this on himself. It was his fault. He could have changed this, could have prevented his family this pain.

It was all his fault. He had been so wrong. He had seen the pain on his brother's face. It was the last thing he had wanted. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Charlie would settle for being blind in both eyes if it meant he could have his brother back. He feared Don would change his mind and stay gone longer. Eventually he'd get to liking being on his own again and he'd forget about them. If that happened, Charlie didn't know how he'd survive. He was barely surviving now.

Charlie didn't remember ever feeling so scared and lost before in his life.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don saw his brother's bike outside his apartment the next day. If he had been in a better mood he would have brought it to his brother. He couldn't do that, though. The sight of it bothered him and he quickly packed his bags in his SUV before he had to see it any longer.

Arriving at his destination, Don breathed in the clear air. It was different from the crowded, polluted air of LA. Though he'd always lived in bigger city areas, Don always had had a heart for the outdoors. His cabin was surrounded by woods and perched on a hill. The view from his bedroom window was beautiful. The fall colors had disappeared, now leaving the trees bare. The winter weather had taken the color away, but the beautiful creeks and hills still showed the mountain's majesty.

Don moved into the living room and stretched on the comfy couch. Resting his hands behind his head, he was actually able to relax. He fought away all thoughts of Charlie for the moment. For now he just wanted to sleep.

A pain tore inside him, causing Don to wake up. He quickly shot up into a standing position. He looked around, almost expecting to see some evil there to get him.

The pain attacked him again and it took his breath away. Don gasped for breath as he sank to his knees.

Alone. The word tore through him. It wasn't something he had considered before.

The emptiness threatened to consume him. Without Charlie and Alan, Don was alone. They were his only family. He had friends, sure. But his only constants were his family. The only people he could always depend on were his family. He needed them.

Without them, he was alone, nothing. If he couldn't forgive them, he'd be alone. He'd have no one to look after him, no one to talk to when he'd be in need. Alone. It hurt.

Don never planned on it to hurt so much. It would definitely affect his decision by the end of the week. He knew he couldn't be alone forever.

But what if he couldn't forgive them? Would he be able to stay away from them long enough, or would family ties bring them together?

Alone. He didn't like the feeling.

He had come here running away from pain, but he had found a new pain here, named alone.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charlie returned to school as usual on Monday. By four o'clock in the afternoon, he was being asked to leave.

"What? Dr. Adams, please don't do this. I-I need this job. I have to have some way to keep busy."

He was talking to Dr. Marcus Adams, the college president of CalSci. Someone had been watching him. When Charlie made four mistakes and needlessly corrected a student, he was called into Dr. Adams' office.

"I'm not firing you, Charles. I just want you to take some time off. I believe you've come back too soon. Something is still bothering you and it's affecting your work. I can't have that. You may return when you're ready. Until then, Greg Johnson will be taking over for you."

"But-"

"No buts. Go home. I need you to get better."

"Yes, sir."

Larry, having heard Charlie was in Dr. Adams' office, was waiting on his friend outside since he was on break from his classes.

Charlie came out feeling hollow. Work was the one thing that kept his mind busy. If he had to be at home all day with nothing to do, he'd start thinking about Don. And that would be too hard.

"Charles? Is everything okay?" Larry asked as he fell into step beside Charlie.

"I'm being forced to take another leave. I messed up, Larry. I messed up and it cost me the one thing that kept my mind busy. What am I going to do now?"

"I don't know. You'll think of something, I'm sure. You know I'm here if you need me, don't you?"

"Yes, Larry. I do. Thanks."

Charlie took out his cell phone and dialed the taxi cab company he used often. He had quite a ways to go today.

"Who was that?" Larry asked once he'd hung up.

"Taxi service."

"Taxi service? Why? Can't your father take you home today? I would offer, but I have a class soon."

"No. I don't want him to take me home. I want to go some where else."

"Where's that, Charles?"

"The beach."

"What? Why?"

"You wouldn't understand. I'll see you later."

Charlie went out to the front of the school to wait for the taxi to come pick him up.

Larry didn't understand why Charlie wanted to go to the beach. He feared something was wrong so he chose to call Alan. He didn't reach him at home, so he promised himself he'd call after his class or sooner. Charlie may need his father.

Charlie paid the driver and went out to the beach. It was time for high tide. No one was where he went, which was exactly why he went there. It had been a favorite spot for the Eppes family. It was where he and Don had spent many summer days and even weekends. The water was cold, but Charlie didn't mind, even though it was the beginning of winter. It didn't affect them as much. He wouldn't have cared anyway.

He laid down on the sand, still fully clothed, including his shoes. He watched seagulls fly over head and he wished for the same carefree nature. No worries for the birds. No brother to betray unintentionally. No pain to start from somewhere deep inside and spread through your body like blood flows.

It was too much for him. He wanted his brother. At times like these he would call his brother to get him out of this slump. But because of him, his brother wouldn't care less if he was having so much pain. Charlie had caused Don enough.

The water began to reach the bottom of his feet. It felt cold to him, but soon he got used to it as the waves repeatedly hit his feet and slowly worked up his body. If he was in a real hurry he would have done his head first.

Charlie lay there and waited for the tide to take him away. Suicide wasn't on his mind, just an escape. He needed to escape and he relied on the waves to help take him. The soothing sound of the waves beating against the sand and against him calmed his racing mind. If he couldn't keep his job, he could lay here and do this all day.

Charlie let the waves lull him. He waited for a brilliant thought to arise, but one never came. He just laid there alone. Alone was how he'd been feeling a lot lately. He wanted that to end, but one person would make the difference for him. That one person would never come. He couldn't call on big brother to save him now. He had sabotaged that relationship. Maybe if he stayed away he could save his father from the grief he'd bring.

Alone. Alone on a beach, waiting for the waves to take him away, Charles Edward Eppes lay there. No one was there. He didn't deserve anyone to come to his rescue, but he still prayed for the one person to come. But Don wasn't coming. Don may never come back.

It was his own fault, so Charlie accepted the fact. He waited for the waves to come closer and slowly take him out to see. Maybe then he could forget for a minute how much he hurt and how ruined his life was.

Maybe.

**This chapter's title comes from the song "Tales of Another Broken Home" by GreenDay. Thanks to knadineg for that!**

**Sorry again for taking so long. I know, I stink at this sometimes. I hope you're not too mad. I do work hard on these, I promise you!**

**The quote added in the story there is just perfect for that moment I think. I suggest you read the lyrics to the song "How to Save a Life" because it explains that moment between Don and Charlie SO well. It's awesome and The Fray are awesome. **

**Thanks for keeping with me this far! We'll keep on going, right? See you later!**


	15. Your Tears Scattered 'Round the World

Alan wasn't expecting the phone call he received. Larry called him that afternoon to tell him that Charlie was forced to take a leave from work. Larry seemed concerned about Charlie since he told him he was going to the beach.

Alan also feared for his son. Something like this might push Charlie over the edge. Charlie was dealing with enough right now in his life. This was just one more additional stress.

Knowing the most likely place on the beach Charlie would go to, Alan drove the distance to the beach. He hadn't been here in years. The last time he had been had been shortly after Margaret's death. He had been going through a stage where he searched for reminders of his wife. He went places they had gone together. It had been a rough time for him because he was missing his wife so much. He hadn't realized at the time how much he was neglecting his sons. After about a month of searching, he realized he was needed elsewhere and he took care of his sons. He pushed past his own grief for them.

Alan walked along a small trail that led to the opening of the beach. As he expected, no one was there, except Charlie. If it had been any other time, the sight of Charlie lying half covered in waves would have been comical. Alan slipped off his shoes and rolled up his pant legs since Charlie was already halfway covered in water.

Quickly Alan made his way to his son. Charlie lay with his eyes closed. He almost sensed his father was there, but he didn't care.

"Charlie? Are you all right?"

He didn't answer his father as a wave lapped around his hips.

"Son, what are you doing?"

"Waiting for the tide to take me out."

"Oh, Charlie." Alan sat beside his son on the sand, allowing his feet to get hit with the cold water.

"How can you stand that?" Alan asked, his feet already cold.

"You get used to it after a while."

Alan didn't like the idea of Charlie being covered in the cold water for so long.

"I heard what happened at school today."

"I figured. You wouldn't be here otherwise."

"That's true."

Charlie closed his eyes again and tried to concentrate on the sound of the waves. His father had broken him out of his peaceful state and he wanted to go back there.

"Charlie, everything is going to be okay."

Charlie opened his eyes and looked at his father.

"You don't get it, do you? Everything is not okay. Gradually things are getting worse. It was bad enough I got hurt. Then I found out I'll never see out of my left eye again. Later, Don found out. I could hardly take him not talking to me, but now he's who knows where and he may not be coming back. And today I was told I had to leave work until I got my emotions straightened out. Work was the only thing that kept my mind off all the problems in my life and now it's causing more. That's why I'm here right now. That's why I'm waiting for the tide to take me out. Maybe then the problems will go away and hopefully you won't inherit them from me."

Alan reached out and brushed Charlie's hair back with his hand.

"We all make mistakes, son, and we all go through times like these. I promise you, it gets better."

"Really, Dad? From the way things are going right now, I should be expecting you to abandon me next."

Charlie turned his head away from his father and concentrated on finding his peaceful place again. The horrors of real life were returning to him and he hated it. He wanted to be free of it all.

Alan thought that Don would be a good comfort for Charlie right now. If only he was here. Alan hated that Charlie would even say something about him abandoning him. He could never do that to his son and especially now at such a critical time in his son's life.

"Charlie, I would never intentionally leave you. You need someone right now."

Alan moved closer to Charlie and propped his son up against his shoulder and arm.

"But I want that someone to be Don," Charlie whispered brokenly.

"I know you do. He'll come back to you. I promise."

Charlie turned his head and pressed his face into his father's neck.

"It won't be soon enough."

Alan wrapped both arms around his son.

"I know, kiddo. I know."

Charlie pulled away from his father and laid flat against the sand.

It would be easier to just lay there and go to a more peaceful and pleasant place. It would be better than going home and allowing himself to think on all of his troubles.

The pain would consume him if he went home. But if he stayed here, who would be there to greet Don when he finally decides to come home?

"Charlie!"

He barely had enough time to react to his father's call. A large wave covered his entire body and he swallowed the horrible tasting salt water and it burned at his eyes. When the wave went back down, Alan quickly pulled Charlie farther away from the water's edge before the next wave came.

"Are you okay?" Alan asked as Charlie choked out a mouthful of sea water.

"Yeah," Charlie replied hoarsely.

Alan rubbed Charlie's back as his son kneeled on all fours and spat out water. Water dripped off his clothes and curls and onto the sand beneath him.

"Come on, kiddo. Let's go home."

Charlie sat back on his heels and looked at his father.

"Okay."

Alan smiled and stood, then helped Charlie up. Thankfully, Alan had thought to bring towels. Charlie sat wrapped in them until they got home and by then he was fairly dry.

Upon entering, Charlie absently hit the play button on the answering machine. On the second message, he froze.

"Um, hi, guys. It's me. Don. I just... I wanted to let you know I'm okay now and I still plan on coming home at the end of the week. I knew you'd worry, Dad. Well, I'll go now. Bye."

Both stood frozen in place for a long time. The sound of Don's voice brought on many emotions for the two.

"Damn it!" Charlie, angry that he missed an opportunity to talk to his brother, picked up a paper weight off the table and hurled it across the room. However, when he realized where it was aimed, he covered his mouth with his hands in horror.

The last family picture that had been taken before Margaret died crashed to the floor. Charlie rushed to the picture on the floor and gingerly picked it up out of the shards of glass.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'm so sorry." Charlie felt tears come to his eyes at the thought of what he could have done. He stared down at the picture in his hands and began to cry.

"Here, Charlie. It's okay. We'll just get a new frame for it."

"Ow," Charlie cried when he sliced his finger on a piece of glass.

"Be careful," Alan admonished, knowing he had told his sons a thousand times to be careful when picking up glass.

Charlie grabbed the finger as his father took the picture and what was left of the frame from him.

Alan scraped off the remaining glass and put it in the trash. The frame also was broken, so he freed the picture from it. He was relieved to see it wasn't damaged.

He wasn't expecting Charlie to snatch the picture out of his hand as soon as it was out of the frame. Charlie took it and held it protectively against his heart. Alan could see that his son had only bothered to stick a napkin around his finger to control the bleeding.

"Here. Let me see your finger."

Charlie whimpered and stubbornly turned away from his father. He left his father in the hall and went to the living room. He sat on the couch and gently pulled the picture off his chest. Lovingly he stroked the image of his family with his thumb. When he got to the image of him and his brother, he choked on a sob. There they stood, arms wrapped around each other's shoulders with smiles on their faces. He wished it could be like that again.

Charlie's lip began to quiver and he bit his lower lip to still it. Tears began to fall freely down his face, dripping off his chin. Alan came up behind Charlie and wrapped his arms around his son. Charlie silently cried, remaining motionless as he stared down enviously at the brothers in the picture. They weren't very close, but the love was there. The support was there. They'd always be there for each other. Charlie missed those brothers. He wanted them to be that way now.

Just like the scattered shards of glass from the picture, Charlie felt his strength break.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday afternoon it rained. Don wondered if his tears made up the raindrops.

He'd been fighting so hard to stay mad at his family. When he was mad, it took the blame off him. When he was mad, he didn't feel so alone.

Don was unable to escape the nagging feeling of loneliness. He had attempted to make it disappear. He spent endless hours in the woods, watching TV, or sleeping. Nothing took it away. The hollowness wasn't getting filled by any task, any thoughts to take his mind off it. He needed more. He needed to fill the gap so he could be whole. Staying away wouldn't accomplish that.

Don knew he wasn't ready to go home, though. He hadn't made up his mind on what to think. One minute he felt like the victim and Charlie was being the bad guy. But then he'd begin to see his brother's side and he'd begin to understand why Charlie did it. So many thoughts filled his head. All were indecisive on how to feel toward his brother.

Don walked to the screen door of the cabin and looked out at the rain. It was coming down hard. He could tell that it would continue for several hours and would make it impossible for him to walk the trails in the woods tomorrow.

Feeling as if the rain was depicting his current mood, Don opened the screen door and walked out. The rain instantly soaked him. Don watched the fabric of his shirt slowly begin to cling tightly to his skin.

Don sat on a small bench outside the cabin, close to the creek's edge. He watched as the water quickly ran through the small stream and he noticed the difference in its depth.

Don didn't feel the cold of the rain on him. Though quickly drenched, the coldness didn't register. Yes, there was a certain chill around him, but it was not caused by the icy rain. There was more to it than that. Loneliness was not a warm friend to cling to. Uncertainty was not welcomed inside. Fear didn't belong here.

Raising his face to the sky, rain poured onto Don's face as he closed his eyes. He lifted his arms and caught the rain in his hands. Don willed the rain to wash away the anger, fear, uncertainty, loneliness and hoped that some how it would give him a fresh start, a fresh look at his situation. Something had to be done to fix this.

Little did Don know, it was raining in Los Angeles, too. Charlie was out in the garage when it began. His father was out buying groceries and Charlie hoped he'd thought to bring a jacket.

Much like his brother, Charlie watched the rain from the safety of the garage. However, something drove him to go out there. He could remember as a child he had loved to go out in the rain. His mother had even encouraged it when he wouldn't get muddy. He would let his imagination run wild with it. He would run around and just enjoy being wet, especially on warm summer days. In later years, he'd sit out there and try to predict when a rain drop would land on his hand.

Today he felt the same comfort from the rain calling him. Charlie stepped out into the yard and squinted against the raindrops that clung to his lashes, or maybe they were tears. It was hard to tell the difference sometimes.

Charlie moved to the koi pond and, as always, his brother came first to mind. He missed his brother terribly. Though it had only been five days since he'd seen Don, it felt much longer. He didn't know where Don was, so he could only think of him as being too far away. Then again, if he wasn't at home, he was too far away.

It was there as he stood in the rain that he came up with an idea. He went inside the house and called a taxi. He was gone before Alan returned.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alan wasn't too concerned when he didn't see his son in the house. He figured since it was raining he was still inside the garage.

When he finished putting away the groceries, he decided to go out to check on Charlie. He ran from the house to the garage to keep from getting too wet and was surprised to find his son not in the garage.

He returned to the house and noticed that the light on the answering machine was lit, indicating that there was a new message. Alan pressed the play button and had to sit down upon hearing it.

"Hey, Dad, it's me. Don't worry, but I probably won't be home for a while. I'm going to go find Don, Dad. I have to. I-I can't go on like this. I promise I'll try to bring him home. Wish me luck. Don't worry too much."

Worry. When it came to his boys, that was all he felt.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charlie didn't even know he could be that persuasive. He went to talk to Director Merrick and convinced him to tell him where Don was. With that information, he hired a driver to take him to his brother.

The rain continued, causing a slight delay. He went over in his mind what he could say to his brother. There had to be a perfect way to tell Don how he felt. There had to be a way to fix it.

No mathematical equation could help him with this one. He was on his own, relying on how well he knew his brother and the emotions that he felt.

Fear seemed to radiate from him when they pulled into the road that led to Don's cabin. He was annoyed when his driver was too afraid of ruining his car to drive up the steep gravel driveway. So Charlie had to get out and walk up the hill in the rain, justifying his decision to not tip the man real well.

It was already dark now. Charlie had taken time to pack a small backpack with essentials in case Don didn't let him stay or wouldn't hear him out. Charlie prayed his brother would listen to him.

Charlie struggled to get up the slick gravel road. He ended up going along the road into the woods, using trees to help pull himself upward. When Charlie finally reached the top of the hill, he was soaked, even with his jacket on. He squinted in the dark and from the short distance he could see his brother inside the cabin watching TV. The sight brought tears to his eyes.

Don was up watching TV. The rain hadn't stopped for several hours and the thunder filled the air so that he had to raise the volume on the TV.

When the first knock sounded, he thought it was just the wind beating something against the cabin. When he heard it again, he went for his gun.

Cautiously he approached the door. Leaning forward, he opened the door with one hand and held his gun out with the other.

He stood there, the door open, holding his gun on his little brother. He was too surprised to react.

"Charlie? Are you okay?" he asked when he finally got his bearings and put his gun away.

Charlie stumbled forward and caught himself on the front of his brother's shirt.

"Please, Don. You-you have to come back home. I-I can't keep doing this. I-I c-can't l-l-ose you too."

Charlie fell down and was only held up by his brother's strong arms.

Don kept his brother upright as he brought him to the couch. He hated getting it all wet, but he couldn't leave him on the floor, where he would surely end up if Don let go of him.

Charlie sat with his teeth chattering as Don went to get him a blanket. Don returned angrily with a blanket for his brother. Charlie wrapped into it tightly, absorbing the warmth greedily.

"Th-thank you." Charlie closed his eyes against the comforting warmth. He shouldn't be that cold already. The sight of his brother had struck a nerve and he wasn't as composed as he had planned to be. He wanted to come to his brother and make demands, show his strength. But when Don opened the door and had a gun on him, he lost all strength and succumbed to the fear and cold.

"What the hell are you doing here, Charlie? You could have gotten yourself killed coming here! What were you thinking? Oh, yeah, I forgot, you don't think! You're the only genius I know who doesn't use his head for damn common sense! Is it that hard to know not to come in the middle of the night in the pouring rain to get here? I left for a reason! I called and told you I'd be back! There is no reason for you to be here!"

Anger poured out of him like sweat. It wasn't anger over Charlie's betrayal. No. It was Don's brotherly concern for his brother than often came out as anger rather than worry. He would never show his worry like that, especially not right now. That would mean he still cared.

"I-I-I had to see you. I have to make this right. Please, hear me out."

"Haven't we been over this before?"

"No. Not the same way, at least. Last time you got mad and kicked me out. I understand, though, Don. You have a right to be mad at me, furious even. I don't blame you for that. But, please, you have to understand that I'm killing myself enough for the both of us for what I did. I don't need you to hate me, too. I-I hate myself enough already. I can't handle so much hate. Please, understand that. I would do anything to fix this. I can't have you gone. I can't not know where you are because that scares me to death. My stomach hurts, I can't sleep, I can't eat. Nothing helps ease my pain. It's just not working. I've tried, Don.

"You're the only one who can make me better. I know that now because nothing else has worked. I can't forgive myself knowing you haven't forgiven me. Dad is trying, but I know he's hurting, too. No reassurances make me any better. I was told today that I had to leave work until I got this mess cleared up. It's making that much of a difference, Don!

"You would probably think I'd be in the garage right now working on P vs. NP, wouldn't you?"

Don couldn't deny that that's where he assumed his brother was. He felt guilty for the thought, though it was most like Charlie.

"Well, guess what? I haven't been able to do math! That's why I was told I had to leave. I was messing up on math, Don, math. Do you know how often that happens? Basically never. The fact that I couldn't do math correctly was an anomaly. Can I show you enough how much this has affected me? I don't think so.

"Don, I lost Mom. I messed it up big time. I should have done something for her near her death. I know that. I can't let this end the same way. I can't allow myself the chance to lock myself in the garage and let this go unsettled. We have to talk. We can't just let this go. I'm hurting, Don, and I know you must be too. I can't tell you how sorry I feel for causing you any pain. It was never, ever my intention. I just wanted to protect you. Please, don't make me lose you now, too."

Charlie covered his face with his hands. Don stood watching his brother with a hard look. He knew his brother wasn't lying to him. Charlie didn't do that. He could see the signs anyway. The gaunt form and the haggard face showed Charlie's struggle. Don knew he didn't look any better for it, either, but he was surprised to see that it had taken a worse toll on Charlie than it had on him.

"Charlie, I-"

Charlie closed his eyes tightly. "Don't say that."

"What?"

"Don't call me that."

"Why?"

"Because that means you're still mad. I can't stand that, Don. I... I can't take it."

Charlie doubled over and held his stomach, feeling his insides churn at the thought that his brother was still mad at him.

Don had never realized that he normally called Charlie by his name when he was mad. He was still mad now, but he was beginning to soften toward his brother.

"I-I am still mad at you, Charlie." He almost stopped when he heard his brother whimper. "But it's because you didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. It's because you didn't think I could handle it. You've put this on yourself, not me. I didn't tell you to feel guilty about it. I didn't want that. I know you get after me all the time about not trusting you enough to tell you when I'm hurt because I know it upsets you. I don't want you hurting and upset, so you should know that's not what I meant to happen now."

"What do you think I wanted?" Charlie screamed. "Do you honestly think this is any different? Just because you're not the one feeling it doesn't mean anything has changed. You don't like to tell me you're hurt because it upsets you. I know what you were going through when I got hurt. You were blaming yourself and when I knew I couldn't see I couldn't let you do that to yourself again. You had finally stopped blaming yourself over it. Damn it, Don, I'm doing the same thing! You protected me from the truth and that's the exact same thing I'm trying to do! I didn't know it was going to blow up in my face. I didn't know it would make things worse. If I did, do you honestly think I would have hesitated to tell you?"

Charlie was standing now, panting out each breath, feeling like a bull.

Don stared at his brother in surprise. He should have seen that, but he hadn't. He should have known that there was more to it than just Charlie trying to protect him. It was the same thing. Charlie was allowing himself more hurt just to protect him. He had suffered for Don. Why couldn't Don have seen it before? He felt like a jerk.

"Buddy, I-"

"What did you say?"

Don smiled. "I said 'Buddy.'"

Charlie smiled, too. "You don't know how long I've wanted to hear you say that."

**I guess this is a bit short, isn't it? Oh I feel horrible! I take forever to update and then it's not a very good one at that. You all must hate me. :-( I promise you I'm not being lazy! I've been working extremely hard on my school work and when I get the chance, I dedicate a lot of hours to writing. I have to! This week has just been a mess and it's not going to get much better because soon final's week will be coming. Then things will go smoothly after that.**

**Please understand my predicament. I apologize a million times for not updating sooner and for not giving you a better chapter!**


	16. All My Fears Have Pushed You Out

**I'm bad and forgot to thank sunshower89 for giving me the title to the last song. It comes from the song "Dream Brother" by Jeff Buckley. Thanks to Sushi Chi for the title to this one. It's from the song "Sympathy" by the Goo Goo Dolls.**

**Thanks to Ataea for the help with this chapter. I hope it's not too fluffy for your taste. LOL**

Don smiled sadly at his brother. He had been too hard on Charlie. That much was obvious. Seeing his little brother now made it too perfectly clear. Hurting his brother was not a part of his plan. Sure, he had had enough anger toward his brother to think badly about Charlie, but he never wanted this.

Love of his little brother chased away the anger and drew out the guilt. Charlie hadn't had time to sulk about his vision. Never had Don seen his brother complain. Charlie hadn't had time to. He went straight from finding out he couldn't see out of his left eye to hiding that fact from the rest of the world. It wasn't fair. Charlie had been so unselfish. And here Don chose to be so selfish that he made his brother have more problems than ever. Charlie didn't need that. He didn't deserve that.

Don walked to the couch and sat beside his brother. "Does it hurt?"

Charlie looked up at his older brother. "My eye? No. No, it's fine. I just can't see out of it."

Don sat at his right, so he was still able to see his brother. Charlie gave his brother a tentative smile, knowing his last statement had sounded rather funny.

"Just," Don said sarcastically.

Charlie gave his brother a long look. "Are we... okay?"

Don smiled. "I guess so."

"Good."

"Buddy, look, I... I was too hard on you. I know you'll try to say otherwise, but I mean it. I shouldn't have left you. We could have worked something out, right?"

"I hope so."

"I just... I thought you trusted me more that that, you know? I know you've basically told me the same thing before, but I didn't know you had the same feelings toward me. I mean, I trust you, Charlie, but I don't want you to take blame on yourself for things you can't help. Is that the way you were feeling?"

Charlie nodded. "That was what I couldn't understand. We're practically thinking the same thing. It was almost as if you were mad at yourself."

"Hell, Charlie, I am! Because of me, you're half blind. Of course I'm mad at myself."

"That's not the way I meant it. Besides, you shouldn't be mad at yourself. It was an unlikely occurrence that we didn't predict. These things don't plan themselves. They just happen. You couldn't choose not to bring me with you that day because you were afraid of me getting hurt. You were just getting a statement! That's one of the safer parts of your job, Don. I know how you are. You never once meant to put me in danger. I know that wasn't any different the day I got hurt. That's why I've never blamed you. No one can be blamed, except for the jerk that hurt me. It was an accident, Don, nothing more."

Don was suddenly smiling at him and Charlie didn't know why.

"What? Why are you smiling at me?"

"Do you have any idea how unselfish you are? My God, Charlie, anyone else would be rolling around in self-pity if they were in your shoes. And instead of giving yourself a moment to grieve for yourself, you jump in protecting me and Dad. Who does that, Charlie? I don't know anyone who would do what you have. Damn, I just wish I would have seen all this sooner."

"You make me out to be a saint," Charlie blushed over his brother's praise.

"You should be counted a saint! Buddy, do you know how rare it is to find someone who will not take every sob story they have and use it in any way to their advantage? You should be at home, in your room, crying about how horrible your life has turned out now. I can't figure out why you're not."

Charlie felt stung by his brother's words.

"You misjudge my strength... all the time. I don't appreciate it, Don. After all this time, I would have hoped you'd have seen that I'm not as fragile as you make me out to be. I know it seems that way, but it isn't.

"When you got shot during one of the first cases I worked on, I panicked. I had just gotten you back into my life and because of me and my math, that almost changed. I don't just fall apart every time you get hurt. I love you to death, and it kills me to see you hurt, especially when it's because of me. But, please, give me some credit. I fell apart twice shortly after you came back to be with Mom. I haven't since then. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

Don looked down at the floor, ashamed of making Charlie feel so weak. That image of his little brother was gone now. How had he been so blind?

Don had the tendency to think he was the only strong one in the family and often it left him oblivious to others' strengths. He knew this was the case now. Heaven forbid his brother be any where near as strong as him. Don felt pathetic. Charlie was probably stronger than him, in a different sense of the word. Sure, Don could handle pressure, fights, and threats. But how would he have acted if he was in Charlie's situation? Would he really have done something so selfless?

"Buddy... I'm so sorry. I can't believe I've been that stupid. I don't know what I've been thinking. You're right, though. I have only seen you as you were when I first came back. God, how could I have been such an idiot?"

Charlie nudged Don with his shoulder. "Don't be so hard on yourself."

"You make me sick," Don said with a grin as he put his arm around Charlie. "I'm still mad that you didn't tell me right away, but I know why now, so it'll be okay. And you have to answer something for me."

"What?"

"How long have you actually taken time to be upset over being blind in one eye?"

Charlie looked down sheepishly. "About a day all together, at the most."

"My gosh, Charlie. How did you do it?"

"You have no idea how many times I wanted to tell you, or anyone really."

"So why didn't you? You should have. You deserve time to let this sink in and to feel sorry for yourself."

"But I don't feel sorry for myself. I'm just sorry I put you through all this."

"Hey, it's okay, Buddy." Don hugged his brother tightly and was given one in return.

"Are you okay? I mean, if you need to cry or something, go right ahead."

Charlie smiled. "I've had enough tears to last me a while, thank you."

Don frowned. "I'm so sorry, Buddy. I never meant to hurt you."

"I know. It's okay. I deserved it."

Don started to argue, but Charlie raised his hand in protest. "No. I don't want to get into that. We both are sorry. Let's leave it at that, okay?"

After a brief silence, Don turned to his brother again.

"What are we going to tell Dad?"

"I have no idea."

"Is he... is he okay?"

"Right now? Probably not. Will he be? Yes."

"I didn't mean to hurt him, either."

"I know. I think he does, too."

"So what are we going to do? There's no point staying here much longer."

"Well, we could..." Charlie said teasingly.

"Like Dad wouldn't see right through that. You want to go home tomorrow?"

"Sure."

"Well, we'd better get to bed. Lucky for you, this cabin has a roll-away bed."

"Yay."

As Charlie was setting up his bed that night, Don suddenly stopped inside the living room where Charlie would be sleeping.

"I was just thinking. How did you know I was here?"

Charlie grinned widely. "That will be a story you'll love to hear."

"So tell me."

"That one we'll save for the ride home."

"Are you serious? I can't wait until then now. Tell me."

"You'll find out soon enough. Go to sleep." Charlie tossed a pillow at his brother and Don caught it.

"I saw that. You think you're so tough, huh, kid?"

"Uh-oh."

"Damn right 'uh-oh.'"

Don ran to Charlie and picked his brother up and twirled him around his shoulders. He ended it with a slam to the roll away bed that bounced Charlie about two feet in the air and back down.

"Get to sleep, tough guy," Don said as he walked out of the room.

Though just slammed to a hard mattress, Charlie was almost laughing he was so happy. He had his brother back. It made all the difference.

Charlie didn't know how he had survived without his big brother.

* * *

Don got up early the next morning. The rain had stopped, leaving behind a muddy earth. He wasn't looking forward to how his SUV would fair because of it.

Charlie was curled up in a ball on the roll away bed when Don went through. Wanting to give his brother some more time to sleep, Don covered his little brother up with another cover, figuring that was why he was curled up so tightly. However, it was not.

Dan was in the kitchen, which connected with the living room, when he heard Charlie. It sounded as though his brother was screaming with his mouth closed. Wondering what was going on, Don left his already cracked eggs on the counter.

Charlie was squirming in his bed when Don came to the living room. Don wasn't sure what was going on. Charlie made the same screaming sound, but it sounded more pained this time. He flung his arms out in a protective manner, looking as if he was fighting off some invisible foe.

"Hey, Buddy. Come on. Wake up," Don said as he shook his brother.

"Ow!" Charlie cried out as he grabbed his head. He began to whimper repeatedly and moved slowly back and forth.

"Buddy, wake up!"

Don shook his brother until he woke up. Charlie cried out in a high pitch and looked up at his brother with horror-filled eyes.

"Are you okay?" Don sat on the bed beside his brother and absently rubbed his brother's back.

"My head hurts." Charlie rubbed his head where it hurt.

"I think I have some Tylenol in my bag. You want some?"

"Yes."

Charlie shivered after Don stood to get him some medicine. The thoughts of his dream seemed all too real. It had happened in real life, so that had the reality effect.

He hadn't dreamt of when he got hurt before, so reliving it was rather frightening for Charlie. The bat had connected with his head in the dream and even after he woke up the pain was still there. Again he rubbed the aching back of his head.

"Here you go." Don placed the pills in his brother's hand, along with a bottle of water.

"Thanks."

Charlie took the pills and prayed they'd work quickly.

Don sat down beside his brother again and watched the pain etch across his face. "You want to talk about it?"

Charlie took a deep breath to help control the pain. "I... I was dreaming about when that man hit me with the baseball bat. I haven't before, so it was hard trying to relive it."

"I bet."

He nodded. "That's why my head hurts."

"Oh, Buddy. I'm so sorry." Don squeezed Charlie's shoulder.

"It's okay. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'd better get up and start getting ready."

"Okay. I'm making some eggs. You want any?"

"No thanks. I'm not hungry."

Charlie stood and started to walk away. Don stopped him with a light touch to his arm.

"Hey. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just not hungry." Charlie smiled to reassure his brother before leaving to take a shower.

After his brother was out of the shower, Don also headed in that direction for his turn. However, he stopped when he saw his brother sitting in the living room holding his head.

"You okay?"

Charlie jumped, not having heard his brother enter.

"Stop asking that. I'm fine, really."

"You sure don't look it. Come on, Buddy. What's up?"

Don sat on the arm rest of the couch above his brother and waited patiently.

"I didn't think it would still hurt this much. I... I had been out of it when I first got hit. But now it feels like the bat hit me again even harder. I hate this feeling."

"It's okay, Buddy."

Charlie smiled weakly. "I know it is. I just wish I hadn't had to dream about it. It had been a while since I'd dreamt. I was starting to get used to it."

"No dreams?"

"No sleep."

"Gosh I hate hearing that." Don felt another stab of guilt.

"I couldn't sleep. I couldn't do math, Don. You know something is wrong then. I just... I couldn't. I couldn't do anything but think of you and how much I messed up this time. And then nothing else worked. Who has time to sulk when you're searching for a reasonable explanation as to why your world suddenly fell apart? No, sulking was the last thing on my mind for sure."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, Don! It wasn't your fault! Everything that went wrong had something to do with me, okay? Not you. If someone is to blame, it's me. It's my life that is messed up right now. That fact just also happened to affect your life."

"Hey, come here." Don wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulder and squeezed. "Your life isn't messed up, Charlie. Bad things have been happening to you, but that will stop soon. I promise you that. Trust me, okay? This isn't your fault. It's just a weird twist of fate acting out against you. You can't help that."

"It's still my life."

"I know that, but there's no logical reason for it. You didn't deserve it. It just happened."

"I guess you're right."

"I am right. This is not going to happen again. This is just your run of bad luck, okay?"

Charlie nodded and looked down at the cell phone in his hand. "Guess how many messages."

Don grinned. "Ten."

"Nope. Twenty-three."

"What? That's crazy."

"All from Dad."

"I figured as much. Let me get in the shower and we'll head his way, okay?"

"Okay. Should I call him?"

Don made a serious face. "No. No, we'll see him when we get there. He'll be okay for a few more hours." Charlie obeyed his brother's wishes, though he hated to leave his father in the dark.

The ride home was long so Charlie fell asleep. It was hard for him because he couldn't see his brother without turning his head almost all the way around to the other side. When it got too frustrating for him, he went to sleep.

When they were nearing home, Charlie awoke and told Don about how he persuaded Director Merrick into telling him where Don was. Who knew math could confuse someone into consenting to giving you information?

Don was laughing until his sides hurt by the time Charlie finished the story. "That is too funny, Charlie. He was that confused?"

"Yep. He said if I stopped confusing him he'd tell me."

"That took guts, Charlie. Hats off to you."

"Thanks."

Don grew silent and solemn fast when he saw his childhood home come into view. It was time for him to face his father. How badly had he hurt him? He hoped his father was in a forgiving mood.

Alan knew the instant the SUV pulled into the driveway, though he was down stairs in the basement and couldn't see the driveway from there. He knew one or both of his sons were home. He couldn't remember running so fast.

Don was already out of the car when Alan opened the front door. The two locked gazes and neither moved. They stood frozen in place, reading each other for signs of things they feared. All either of them saw was love. Don took the first step and Alan matched it. Slowly they made their way to each other until they were standing face-to-face.

"Hi, Dad," Don said quietly after the silence dragged on.

"Oh, Donnie." Alan grabbed his son in a tight embrace as tears flooded out of his eyes. Don too felt emotions clog his throat as he clung to his father with equal strength.

"You're home. You're home." Alan kissed his son's cheek, giving himself another sign that it was real. His son was home.

"I'm sorry," Don said with a choked voice.

"Hush, little boy. You're forgiven. You're always forgiven."

Those words brought the tears out for Don. He suddenly sobbed and buried his face in his father's shoulder. He was always forgiven. It made his shoulders feel light as air.

"It's okay, Donnie boy. You're all right now. You're home."

Alan rocked his oldest son to ease the sobs. He felt so relieved.

Looking over his oldest son's shoulder, he found the reason for Don's return. Charlie was watching the two with a smile on his face. They were his family, his whole world. He needed them.

Alan motioned Charlie over with his hand. He had been so afraid Charlie would get hurt again. He thought he knew Don better than that, but he feared he'd be wrong. He was so happy that Charlie had been successful. Alan knew how much Charlie needed his brother.

Don seemed to sense Charlie was coming over so he stepped back, allowing Charlie room in the group hug.

"Oh, my boys. Thank God, you're home."

Alan kissed each of his son's heads. It was so good to have them home.

"Come on. Come inside. I'll fix you a big lunch. What would you like?"

"Anything, Dad. I'm starved," Charlie replied.

Don looked over at his brother. "Oh, I see how it is. You passed up my breakfast so you could have more room for Dad's lunch. Well played, Chuck."

"I'm not Chuck."

"Whatever, Chuckles."

Charlie shoved his brother as they entered the house.

"Are you two already fighting? You just got home."

"No, Dad. We're not fighting," Charlie said innocently.

No. The two brothers would not be fighting seriously for some time. They'd been through a roller coaster of troubles together, but they'd arrived safely back at the beginning of the track. They were together. They were a family. And that meant they were just fine... because they were a family.

**Success! I've made it with another chapter. This week with school has been better, but soon finals will be here. I do have some time off next week, which will help. I hope it won't be another week before I update again. I'll try hard so that doesn't happen.**

**Thanks for everyone's help and support. Oh, and this isn't the end, if you couldn't tell. It does have that kind of ending feel to it, doesn't it?**

**See you next chapter!**


	17. I Never Needed Anyone's Help in Anyway

Charlie sat down on the couch while his father prepared an early supper for them. He closed his eyes as he leaned his head against the back of the couch. His head hurt again, but he chose to ignore it.

"You okay, Buddy?" Don asked as he sat down beside his brother on the couch.

Charlie smiled in response. "Yeah, I'm okay. We're all together again."

Don smiled, too. "It's good to be back."

The feeling of emptiness was gone for Don. He couldn't bring himself to leave his family like that again. He needed them. It had been too hard trying to stay away. The only thing that allowed him to get through it was the anger. And even that hadn't survived when loneliness crept in.

"I'm tired," Charlie yawned out.

"Go to sleep then."

"No, Dad will have supper ready soon."

"Charlie, you have plenty of time to take a nap. What's the matter? You don't feel well?" Alan said as he came into the living room.

"I'm just tired, Dad."

"Well, go to sleep. Supper won't be ready for a while."

"Okay. Wake me up when it's ready."

"Will do."

Charlie groggily walked up the steps and went into his room. He collapsed onto his bed. He moaned as he rolled over and pressed his face into the pillow. His head throbbed with every heart beat, signaling a massive migraine. He hoped he'd be able to sleep it off.

Downstairs, Don and Alan were sitting on the couch. Feeling the weight of missing his son, Alan had to hug his son again.

"I missed you so much."

"I know, Dad. I missed you, too."

"So how are you? Are you okay? Are you and your brother all right?"

"Yeah. We're fine. Dad, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course. What is it?"

Don licked his lips in a nervous gesture. "How bad did my leaving affect Charlie, honestly?"

Alan sighed as he remembered the pain his youngest had endured. "It... it was painfully hard on him. I-I've never seen him so upset. After he was asked to leave school, I found him at the beach. He was waiting for the tide to take him out, literally."

"What? Why?"

Alan shook his head. "I've never seen him so hopeless. He'd just... he'd given up. It hurt him, Donnie. It hurt him real bad."

"Don felt moisture come to his eyes. "I-I never meant for that to happen, Dad. I swear I didn't."

"Hush. I know you didn't. You were hurt. Charlie and I both knew that. It's okay."

"Charlie didn't have to feel so bad. I overreacted. This never should have happened."

"Son, you can't change what's already happened. It's okay now. We're all together again and all is forgiven."

"Has Charlie... has he talked to you much about losing his sight in his left eye?"

"He's barely spoken a word about it to me. The only time he did was when I first found out, but it wasn't to complain. He was just begging me not to tell you."

"Damn. He's too strong and independent for his own good."

Alan smiled. "I'm sure he'd love to hear you say that. He spent most of his time when we discussed it convincing me that he is stronger than we give him credit for."

"Well, he proved that. Who can honestly say they'd handle it like he did? It's inhuman."

"I know. I'm quite proud of him. He took a lot on himself to protect us. Not many can say they'd do the same."

"I know."

Alan stood and started for the kitchen. "Supper should be ready in a little less than an hour if you want to take some time to get cleaned up. I brought the rest of your bags in."

"Thanks, Dad. I will."

Don went upstairs after taking out a clean set of clothes. He took a long shower. When he got out, he was hoping that it'd be long enough before dinner so he could take a nap. The hot shower made him drowsy. However, Alan called up to him that it was time to eat soon after he was finished. He walked across the hall to his brother's room. Standing over his brother's sleeping form, Don smiled proudly at Charlie. He couldn't imagine what all Charlie had gone through. It wasn't fair for him to push away all his pains to take on someone else's. Charlie deserved a chance to feel bad about what happened to him. Instead, Charlie felt bad only about hurting his brother and worried about how he could protect Don. It wasn't fair.

Don reached out and shook his brother's shoulder and got a groan in response.

"Come on, Buddy. It's time to eat. You were the one who said for us to wake you up in time and you said you were starved."

"Bring me a glass of water and two aspirins. That sounds good enough for me."

Don frowned in concern. "Your head still hurt, Buddy?"

He gently laid his hand on his brother's forehead.

"Yes. Please don't touch it. It only makes it worse."

"Sorry. I'll go get you that aspirin."

Don knew he'd have questions to answer when he came back from giving Charlie the aspirin. Alan knew something was up and he'd be determined to find out what.

"What's going on? Where's Charlie?" Alan asked immediately.

"His head hurts, so he's going to stay in bed."

"Why does his head hurt? Did he get hurt again and not tell me?"

"No, Dad, calm down, all right? His head just hurts. I-I think it's some sort of ghost pain or something."

"What makes you say that?"

"He had a nightmare last night about when that son of a bitch hit him with a baseball bat. Now his head hurts."

"Oh, poor Charlie. I should go check on him." Alan stood from the table and began to go to his youngest.

"No, Dad, don't. His head hurts right now. He needs rest. Just leave him alone. He said he hasn't been sleeping well lately anyway."

"What? I never noticed that."

"Probably because you're asleep. Look, it's fine. Just let him sleep it off."

"Okay. But if he hasn't gotten up in two hours, I'll go check on him."

"You do that. For now, let's eat."

After supper, Don beat his father at checking on Charlie. Don went into his brother's room and sat on the bed beside Charlie. He was concerned with the pained expression on his brother's face. Gently he brushed his hand over his brother's curls. He smiled when the repeated motion seemed to calm Charlie.

"Gosh, Charlie. Do you have any idea how proud I am of you? You are... such an amazing person. Really, you astound me. I can't understand how you got to be so strong without my knowing it. I don't think you realize how rare it is to find someone like you. You're brilliant as hell, stop at nothing to protect your family, and don't bother to take a moment for yourself, even when you deserve it.

"I went away because I was hurt, I felt betrayed, and I was mad at you. I kept telling myself to be mad at you because that let me keep on making you the bad guy. If I wasn't mad at you, I'd see that you were trying to protect me and you were doing the same thing I've done for you. I was too stupid to see you were equally as strong as me. Hell, Charlie, you are even stronger, in different ways.

"Of course, I could never tell you all this when you're awake. No, that would definitely make you be the stronger one. I'm sorry I don't talk about these kinds of things with you. I'm afraid of you being stronger than me. You're already so much smarter, Buddy. I figured you could have intelligence as long as I could have strength.

"What I should say to you when you're awake, but won't, is that I love you. I love you and I'm so proud of you for being a better person than me. And I'm sorry I couldn't see all this sooner. It would have saved us both a lot of trouble."

Don was about to get up when his brother surprised him.

"Stop patronizing me," Charlie said with his eyes still closed.

Don jumped at the sound of his brother's voice. He smiled nervously. "How much of that did you hear?"

"Enough." Actually, he had heard the whole thing.

"Okay. I'll let you sleep then." Embarrassed, Don started to get off the bed. Charlie grabbed his arm to stop him, though.

"No. Wait. I...I appreciate what you said, Don. I don't think - actually I know - half of it isn't true, but I thank you for saying it. You didn't have to."

"Yeah, I did, Buddy. I had to say it because I believe it. I don't care what you think. I know it's true."

Charlie smiled. "Thanks."

"No problem, Buddy. Go back to sleep."

"Okay. What are you going to do?"

"I think you have the right idea. I'm heading to my room to take a nap."

"Your room?" Charlie grinned.

"Shut up. You know what I mean."

"I'm just teasing. Good night, Donnie."

"Good night, Buddy."

Don smiled as he left his brother's room. He went to "his room" and quickly fell asleep since he could rest easy after getting that off his chest.

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Though he had three more days left on his vacation, Don decided to go back to work. One of the first things he noticed when he arrived was Megan's reaction to him coming out of the elevator.

"Reeves. I'd like to see you in my office," Don said coolly as he passed her desk.

"Yes, sir." Megan slowly stood and followed hin into his office. Don closed the door behind them and sat behind his desk.

"Lucky for you, you're off the hook over what hapened. However, I need to know that you'll be able to keep your work and your personal life separate."

"Of course."

"Good."

"Don, if I may say so, I-I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about Charlie. I assume you've worked it out with him, and I'm happy for you. It-it was so hard on Charlie. I won't say another word on the subject now, if you don't want me to."

Don smiled softly. "Yes, we have worked it out. I was wondering, what happened to Charlie when I was gone that you know of?"

Megan's eyes watered as she thought of how upset Charlie had been after finding out that Don was leaving. "He... he took your leaving really hard. He thought he'd lost you forever and that killed him. I don't think he could survive you leaving again."

"Thanks. Now you can get back to work."

"Of course."

After Megan left and closed the door behind her, Don felt emotion clog his throat. He pushed it away with a few deep breaths and a change in mood.

How could Charlie think he'd lost him forever? Don had been mad, but never could he stay away for long. That hadn't been the case when he was younger, but that had changed now. He was too close to his family now. He'd never stay away for so long again if he could help it.

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Charlie thankfully was allowed to return to school the next day, too. He was happy to find his concentration was back, as well. The migraine had gone away, leaving him feeling healthy and happy to be back.

Larry, as Charlie expected, came to see him shortly after he had talked to the president. The two had not seen each other since Charlie was asked to leave.

Larry knocked on the door frame. "Charles? May I come in?"

Charlie looked up at the noise and smiled. "Of course, Larry. Come on in."

Larry smiled with relief, knowing his friend must be better.

"I see you've returned to work. I must say, that is a relief."

"Why is that?"

"Well, it should mean that your brother quarrel has ended. Am I right?"

"Yes, Larry, you are."

"Wonderful. You know, Megan and I were so worried about you. It was a little disturbing seeing you so low."

"I'm sorry if I caused you any extra burden, Larry." Charlie frowned. He hadn't meant to put his burden on anyone else.

"Nonsense, Charles. As a matter of fact, you need to lighten your load on others more often, not that you had this time."

Charlie chuckled. "Well, that won't be happening any time soon."

"And why not? You shouldn't be solely independent. No one can be. That's why we have friends and family. Tell me, what purpose do your friends and family have on your life?" Larry held his chin in his hand as he waited on an answer.

Charlie felt embarrassed because he had to think about it. "Well, they're there to love and support me. They're always open to discussions and respect my views. Um, my family takes care of me and is unconditionally my back up."

"Exactly. Now, when was the last time you came to one of your family members or friends and asked them for some help?"

"Specify what kind of help."

"Physical, emotional. When have you felt down and alone and have come to someone to get help?"

Charlie definitely had to think about this one. When he took too long, Larry called him out on it.

"You see? Charles, you tell me your friends and family are there to support you, yet you're hypocritical in the fact that you don't let them support you. You don't need support right now because you take care of yourself. Think about it. Use them for what they're worth. I bet you can remember the last time someone came to you for support."

Leaving on that note, Larry returned to his office.

Charlie sank onto his desk chair. Was he really that independent? He tried to lay that description on Don, but it worked for him as well.

Charlie was only dependent on himself. Sure, he was dependent on his father when it came to house hold chores. But he could still do them. But now was a perfect example of how independent he was.

He hid the truth about his eye from everyone he knew. He didn't come to Larry or Amita. He didn't tell his father. No, he kept it to himself and held the emotions inside, except for the times where it overwhelmed him to the point of tears.

He held it all inside just to protect Don. He could have trusted any of his friends with the information. Charlie should know they wouldn't tell. Instead, he kept the information to himself and fought it alone.

Charlie felt remorse because Larry seemed hurt that he hadn't confided in him. He should have. It would have made life easier on him.

That night, Don came over to join Alan and Charlie for dinner. Both he and Alan noticed Charlie's lack of enthusiasm. After they'd eaten, they confronted him about it.

"Buddy? You okay?" Don asked his little brother who was sitting across from him.

"Am I... am I too independent?" Charlie asked after he looked up from his cup of iced tea.

"What kind of question is that? What brought this on?"

Alan looked from Charlie to Don.

"Larry said something today and I just...I can't help but think he's right."

"What did he talk to you about?" Don asked.

"Just... I don't know. He asked me what purpose you guys had in my life and it just seemed that the purposes I listed didn't actually match what you do for me."

"Well, Charlie, I believe you are too independent at times, but your mother and I raised you boys to be that way. Of course, that plan seemed to backfire now that you boys basically depend on yourselves."

"Honestly, though. I-I told Larry that I depend on my family and friends to be my support. But when I found out that I was going to be blind in my left eye for the rest of my life, I didn't tell anyone. I didn't trust anyone else with that information because I was too independent. I could have told any one of my friends and I know they wouldn't have told Don. But I only trusted myself to keep it a secret. Why did I do that? It would have been so much easier on me to share my burden."

Alan smiled as he stood and rounded the table to go to his youngest son. Don was thinking about how much Charlie's story sounded like him.

"Charlie, it wasn't a crime that you didn't tell anyone. You were only punishing yourself. It's true, we're here for you so you can tell us things like that. But that doesn't mean you have to. What you choose to tell and not tell us is up to you. You just have to remember that no matter how heavy it feels when you carry it alone, it'll always be lighter when you let someone else help you carry it. It's basic math, Charlie."

Charlie smiled at his father and reached out to hug him. "Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome, kiddo."

Don smiled across the table at Charlie. "I'm glad you talked about this with us. It reminds me that I need to be more open with you two, too. We're both like that."

"Don't I know it. Now, I have an apple pie ready for us to eat if anyone's interested."

Charlie and Don smiled at each other. "That sounds great, Dad."

Though no pains were shared that night, the promise of later discussion hung in the air. Both sons knew they could count on each other. That's what their family did. Since they were there, they might as well take the chance of extra help.

**Well, I'm pretty lame. I'm updating on Thanksgiving. Really, what makes me think you'd want to take time away from your holiday to read this? LOL Oh, well. I am having a fun Thanksgiving and am already as stuffed as our 18 pound turkey. There's always room for seconds, though.**

**I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday! Eat up!**

**This chapter's title comes from the song "Help" by the Beatles. Thank you to D. Lerious for this title!**

**BTW, have I not used a lyric from someone who has given me titles? I want to make sure I get everyone's in because they were all so good!**


	18. In The Burning of Uncertainty

**STOP! Well, you don't have to, but you may want to reread chapter six... Did you read it? Okay, continue.**

Don was happy to be back to a regular routine. It had been a hard month, even though he'd been back home for it. There had been many hours of talking, crying, laughing, and just getting to know each other better spent with his family. He truly believed his brother was okay with his eye. Sure, he had found Charlie getting frustrated by his limitations, but it was nothing like Don had expected. Charlie made him proud every day. It was hard to believe how different Charlie had become. There was a maturity and strength to him that hadn't been there before. It was a good change, though, not that Charlie hadn't been fine before.

And now his brother was on the headset with him and his team. Charlie was directing them through an old school building. Someone had made a map to a bomb written in a complex number code that only Charlie could clearly understand. Along with the map was a time limit. Right now, they should have eleven hours and twenty-three minutes.

"All right, Charlie, where to now?" Don asked. They'd come to a number of hallways. Charlie was tracking their location with a map of the building.

"The map ends here."

"But, Charlie, there are four different hallways. Which do you think we should go to?"

"Don, I told you, the map ends here. How many agents do you have?"

"Seven, including me." Don stopped talking into the mouth piece and turned to address the other agents.

"We need to split up in pairs. Reeves, you're with Miller. Granger with Sinclair. Thompson, go with Hudson. Take your pick on hallways."

Charlie, having overheard, commented to Don, "That leaves you alone. Is that safe?"

Don smiled. "Yeah, Charlie, I'm a 36-year-old top federal agent walking an empty hall. I should be real worried."

"Just be careful."

"I will. Don't worry so much."

Don walked down the hall and stopped in a classroom. He couldn't find anything there so he moved back into the hall.

"Reeves, you got anything?" he asked through the head set.

"Nothing yet."

"Granger?"

"Nothing, Don."

"How about you, Hudson?"

"No, sir."

"Well, keep looking, guys. It's gotta be here."

Don had full faith in his brother. If Charlie said it was there, he believed it was.

When all the classrooms had turned up empty, Don moved on to the lockers. After searching for a while, he came upon one that had a lock.

"Got any extra numbers left over on that map, Charlie?" Don asked.

Charlie was surprised with his brother's question. He had just been trying to figure out what a leftover number had meant and hoped it would give them more directions.

"Yes. Why? Do you have something?"

"What number is it?"

"41514. Why, Don? What's going on?"

Don didn't answer as he tried the numbers to open the lock. As he had expected, the numbers worked and inside was the bomb, waiting on him. He had been trained to dismantle a bomb, but an unexpected surprise awaited him.

"All units, get down and out! Clear the building!"

Don turned and began to run, hearing his brother's panicked voice until an explosion sounded from behind him. He was lifted off the ground and thrown into the wall in front of him. He hit his head hard enough to knock him unconscious, leaving him defenseless to the fast-growing fire around him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Don. Don. Don!" Charlie screamed into the mouth piece, waiting for an answer. He felt panic rise in his throat with every second that passed without answer.

"Charlie, it's Megan. We got to clear out."

"Where's Don?"

"I don't know. Which hall did he take?"

"I don't know! Get him out of there!"

"We took the first."

"We took the third."

"We took the fourth."

Suddenly he heard Megan shriek. "What? What is it?"

"Charlie, there's a fire. We can't stay in here. We got to get out."

"What about Don?"

"I don't know. If he's not up, I don't think we can get to him."

"Damn it!" Charlie threw off his headset and left his office at CalSci. He ran out of the school and got in his car and sped away. He knew exactly where it was and even had a good grasp of how to get around the building. Of course, it'd be different being there in person.

Halfway there, he was stopped in traffic due to a car wreck. He got out of his car to see if he could get around it fast enough to get to Don in time. Seeing that the ambulance was still there, he knew it'd be too long for him to get to Don.

He pulled his car to the side of the road and got back out, only this time he started running. Fear and adrenaline drove him to a faster speed than he'd usually move at. He had to get to his brother. He had to know he was all right.

It took him twenty long minutes to get there and due to the heavy traffic, the firemen had not arrived yet.

Charlie saw Megan and Colby and rushed to them.

"Where's Don?" he asked even before he had reached them.

"Charlie! What are you doing here?" Colby asked, shocked that the professor had gotten there so quickly.

"Where is he?" Charlie asked again.

"He's not responding, Charlie. We'll have to wait for the firemen to arrive," Megan explained.

"Like hell we will. My brother is in there! He needs help. Someone has to do something!"

Charlie moved to run into the building. "Charlie! You can't go in there, man!" Colby stopped him by grabbing him by the shoulders. However, he wasn't prepared for the solid hit Charlie made with his elbow to Colby's stomach. He dropped to his knees and Charlie ran on, with Megan yelling at him from behind.

Charlie felt the heat of the knob of the door as he threw it open, trying his best to let go of it as fast as he could. He'd be surprised if any pain registered, though. One thing filled his thoughts. One fear scared the hell out of him. One mission drove him to run.

Don. Could he really lose him now when he had just gotten him back? He'd always had him, his brother had explained, but Charlie knew different. He had lost his brother after Don got out of college. Then he had him back after their mother got sick. But then, after Charlie had betrayed Don's trust, he had lost him yet again. If he lost Don again now, it would be the last time and that thought frightened him.

The fire wasn't really bad until he got to the choice of the four hallways. He remembered that Don had taken the second, judging by what the other agents said. He wanted to run down it to get to his brother, but the fire was too high and wide for him to get through without taking some precautions.

Charlie slid along the wall to avoid the flames, but a few times it came close enough to hit him. He felt tiny stings in his legs and sometimes his arms, but he didn't care. He ignored the pain as he quickly moved along the wall. When he was able to step away from the wall, he found a wall of fire, and at the end of it was his brother.

Charlie felt a scream build in his throat at the sight, but he didn't let it out. This time he did run and this time felt no pain at all. It would have been there in other circumstances, but there was a brotherly strength now. He had to reach Don and reach Don fast.

Don was safe from the flames except for his lower right leg. Charlie dragged his brother's body away from the fire and quickly used his body to suffocate the flames. He was more pained by the shrieks Don gave from the pain than he was by the flames that threatened to burn him.

When the fire was out, Charlie stripped his jacket off and wrapped it around his brother's face, hoping that it would provide some protection. He stooped down low so he could lift his brother. Then he noticed the blood at the back of Don's head. He hated to see that. Don was already in enough pain.

What was the best way out? The wall of fire would be too hard to get past, so it would probably mean he'd have to go back the way he'd come in. It would seem so much longer now with the weight of another person. He'd come in running but would have to take his time getting out.

Don groaned in his arms and Charlie gave him a squeeze. "It's okay, Donnie. I'm here. We'll be okay. You'll see."

At the moment, Charlie wasn't so sure. The fires would surely have spread much more in the time he'd been inside. Would they find a way out?

Charlie kept moving his head back and forth so he'd be sure not to miss an area. It frustrated him that he couldn't keep his head straight ahead and still see what he needed to. He felt a strange feeling of de ja vu settle in him, but he disregarded it. There was no way he'd lived this before.

Soon Don became heavy and Charlie choked from all the smoke. His lungs longed for clear air, not that he usually found it in the polluted air of Los Angeles, but it was better than this.

When Charlie found a small area that was not surrounded in flames, he laid Don down and was frightened to find his own pant leg on fire. He quickly beat it against the wall, attempting to put it out. He succeeded with minimal damage. His pulse raced, though, at the thought that he hadn't even noticed until he'd looked down.

Don was in fair condition, considering he was in a burning building. Charlie found his brother's breathing strong still, but his leg did concern him. The pant leg had been burned off at the calf, leaving behind angry red burns.

After a brief coughing fit, Charlie lifted his brother again, wrapping his arms around Don's shoulders to hold him up against him. He tried to hoist Don up higher so that his foot wouldn't drag, but he was too much shorter than his older brother for that. He hoped the damage wouldn't be much worse because of him.

Dragging along his unconscious brother, Charlie searched for a way out. His eyes watered as he strained to see through the thick smoke. Lack of oxygen made him feel weak, making his brother seem all the heavier. He had to get Don out, though. He had to. Nothing could stand in his way.

With another wave of strength, Charlie pulled him and Don along. He came to the stairs and was horrified when he saw that the bottom steps were on fire. He'd have to find another way.

He searched the halls and his memory for a second stair case. He thought of a place that seemed familiar on the map and found his way down. There wasn't a large amount of flames there. Charlie could hardly believe how far it had spread. The firemen would have to get there soon if they were going to save this building and the surrounding ones.

Risking himself before his brother, Charlie moved his brother's body away from the flames and had his back to it. He could see the emergency exit close beside the stairs and breathed a sigh of relief. He held Don with his right arm as he pushed the door open with his left. They were out.

By then a team of firemen and an ambulance had arrived. Charlie was surprised he hadn't passed them in the building. He coughed as fresh air reached his lungs and also heard Don cough along with him.

"Charlie!" Megan screamed when she saw him and Don. She honestly didn't think they'd come out of it in one piece. But she saw something terrible and it scared her.

"Charlie! Your arm!"

Charlie didn't hear her. He kept walking with his brother toward the ambulance. A team of paramedics came rushing for them.

"Sir, let me take him."

"Sir, we have him. Let go."

"Sir? Sir?"

The voices were all there. He should have heard them, but he didn't. His arms suddenly became cold and empty as they pulled his brother out of his grasp. He sank down, exhausted, and someone helped push him the rest of the way down. Charlie screamed out when a sudden pain seared at his left arm as someone smothered it with a blanket. What had happened to it? Why were they covering it up when it felt so hot?

"You're going to be okay, sir. We'll take care of you."

Someone will take care of him? That's nice. But it wasn't Don or his father. Who then? Charlie wondered this as suddenly the bright light of the sun turned into nothing but a peaceful, dark nothingness.

**Title comes from Sarah McLachlan's "Answer."**


	19. It's My Fault When You're Blind

Charlie moaned as he regained consciousness. The first thing he heard was his father's voice, which brought him some comfort.

"You two are lucky I'm not in one of those beds, too. I swear, one of these days you boys are going to give me a heart attack."

"D-Dad?" Charlie's voice was hoarse because his mouth was so dry.

"Oh, thank God." Alan moved closer to Charlie's bed and looked into his son's brown, confused eyes.

"What's going on?"

"You're in the hospital, you and Donnie both."

"What? No!" Charlie struggled to see over his father to his brother.

"Is he okay? What's wrong with him?"

"Sh, calm down, kiddo. He's going to be okay, thanks to you I hear."

"What?"

Alan smiled. "Megan told me there was a bomb that went off that started a fire. She said you went in to get Don out. Now, I know when you were growing up your mother and I told you never to go back into a burning building, but for this instance, I'll let it pass."

Charlie remembered then. The flames should have felt so hot, but he couldn't feel a thing. It was as if nothing could touch him, all because of the driven force of saving Don.

As if coming with the memories, Charlie hissed with pain. "My arm hurts."

Alan's face paled as he remembered that part of the story.

"Apparently, your arm was on fire for quite some time, but you didn't seem to notice. Charlie, how could you have not felt that? You have second and third degree burns on your arm!"

Charlie shook his head. "Nothing else mattered. It never hurt. I just... I just had to get Don out of there."

Charlie looked over at his brother. He saw that he had a bandage over his eyes and Charlie felt some alarm.

"Dad, wh-what happened to his eyes?"

"His eyes were flushed with MFD 300. The doctors don't think there will be many side effects with it, though. They seem hopeful that he'll not lose any vision. It's more of a precaution, really."

"Has he woken up yet?"

"A little, yes. He has a grade 3 concussion, so things have been fuzzy for him. He'll be fine, though, I promise."

As if he knew they were talking about him, Don began to stir.

"M-Mom? Dad?"

Alan's head whipped around to his oldest son. He rushed to Don's side. "Donnie? It's Dad. I'm right here."

He took Don's hand to let him know.

"It's dark."

"Yeah, I know."

"Where Charlie?"

"I'm right over here, Don," Charlie said.

"Good."

"Get some more sleep, son. You need to keep up your strength."

"Okay."

Don soon nodded off. Alan looked over at Charlie and was scared to find tears on his face. He returned to Charlie's bed, feeling somewhat like a ping pong ball.

"What is it? Are you all right? Should I call a doctor?"

Charlie shook his head. "No. I... I just was so scared I had lost him. I-I was on the headset with him and I heard the explosion, and then, then he wouldn't answer me. It was so horrible. I just got him back. What if I'd lost him? Dad, I helped lead him there! How would I have been able to live with myself?"

Alan, too, had tears in his eyes. He came around to Charlie's better side and gathered his son in his arms.

"It's okay now, kiddo. You made everything right. I'm so proud of you, too. Thank you for saving your brother."

Charlie didn't feel proud. He was terrified. It was over, sure, but what-could-have-beens kept running through his mind. Don may be okay now, but it was so scary to think that if he hadn't gone to save him out of the school that Don could be dead now. Charlie shivered.

"I'll go get your doctor now, okay? He has to go over something with you."

"Okay."

Charlie felt cold when his father let go of him. He tried to get a stronger hold on his emotions for when the doctor arrived.

"Hello, Charlie. I'm Dr. Tyler Cheney. How are you feeling?"

"My arm hurts, but I'm okay."

"Well if it becomes a problem we can give you some more morphine for that."

"No. That's okay. My father said there was something you'd like to discuss with me."

"Yes. As you may already know, you have suffered from second and third degree burns on your arm. It will be necessary to do a skin graft for the small portion of the third degree burns. It's a procedure where we'll take skin – often from a thigh or the posterior – and replace the burned areas with the skin. We'll use your own skin so there will be less of a chance of infection."

"When will I be released?"

"Well, we have an OR reserved for this afternoon. You'll need to be prepared for surgery and you should be out of surgery after a few hours. We'll need to keep you here overnight, but you should be able to go home tomorrow."

"And what about Don?"

"He'll be able to go home with you if he's cleared in the morning. He only received minor burns on his leg. It's the head injury that we are monitoring now and his eyes. He'll have to return in a couple days to have the bandages removed, but there's not much else that can be done here."

"I'll go home with him."

Dr. Cheney smiled. "I figured as much. It seems you two are close."

Charlie nodded.

"Well, I'll leave you now. A nurse will come in to prepare you for surgery in about two hours. Try to get some rest. You look exhausted."

"Thank you, doctor."

Alan returned to Charlie's right side, avoiding the injured left arm. He was glad that his son was right handed. He leaned on Charlie's bed and reached out to stroke his son's hair.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, kiddo?"

"I'm sorry we scared you again," Charlie said, referring to what he had woken up hearing.

Alan smiled. "Hush now. I was just talking. I'm just glad you two are okay."

"Good."

"Just get some rest before your surgery, okay?" Alan began to stroke Charlie's hair again.

"'Kay."

"Sh." Soon Charlie was asleep again and Alan smiled at him. He was so proud of his sons. They were both fine young men.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charlie woke up before the nurse came in to prep him for surgery. He found a note from his father saying he'd be back before he went in for surgery and if he wasn't he'd be there when he woke up.

Charlie looked over at his brother again. He hoped Don would be okay. He wouldn't wish his blindness on anyone else.

"Dad? Charlie?" There was a tone of panic in Don's voice, but also more of an awareness than before.

"I'm right here." Charlie untangled his IV line to where he could get up to go to Don's bedside.

Don couldn't understand why it was so dark. It was scaring him. Where was the light switch? What was going on?

"I'm right here, Brother. You're okay."

"What about you?" Charlie was afraid to answer.

"I, uh, I hurt my arm pretty badly. I'm going to be okay, though." Charlie didn't want to risk another fight. He'd have to tell the truth from now on.

"Sorry."

"Ah, don't be. You didn't do anything. Get some more sleep."

Confused, Don thought he was dreaming. He must have been placed in Charlie's position after he'd been hit with the baseball bat.

No wonder Charlie had been so freaked out. He couldn't see a thing and he could only rely on the person talking to him to inform him of what was going on and who was in the room with him. Where was he? What was happening?

"It'll be okay. I promise. I'll help you get through this."

Don hoped he had been this comforting to his brother as he was now in the dream. However, he still felt so scared, so vulnerable. Had Charlie felt it too? He heard himself, or rather, Charlie whimper.

A warm hand grabbed hold of his and he some how knew it was his brother's. Maybe it was because he knew the feel of his own hand, but that couldn't be the case, could it?

"I'm right here. I'm not going any where."

Another voice faded in, then back out as Don fell into a deep sleep.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charlie wasn't afraid of the surgery. He just worried about Don. He knew how hard it had been to be unable to see anything. He wanted the surgery to be over with so he could get back to his brother.

The surgery went well for him and when he woke later his father was sitting at his bedside waiting on him to wake.

"Hey, Dad," Charlie said groggily.

"Hey, kiddo. How are you?"

"I'm okay."

"No pain?"

"Nope. How's Don?"

"Good. He's been sleeping. He hasn't woken up since before I left. Did he wake up before your surgery?"

"Yeah, briefly." Charlie looked closer at his father, noticing the paleness in his father's face.

"Are you okay, Dad?"

"Me? Of course. Why?"

"You don't look so good. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I told you 'of course.' Don't you listen?" Alan didn't sound like he was teasing. There was an aggression in his father's voice that hadn't been there before.

"Dad?"

"Hush."

"Dad. Talk to me."

Charlie sat up and watched his father as he changed his hands into fists repeatedly. His brow was furrowed and he was sweating lightly.

"Dad? Dad. What's going on?"

Alan bit his lip, hating himself for beginning to break in front of his own son. That wasn't supposed to happen. He was the father. He was supposed to show strength, not weakness. He couldn't believe how similar he started to sound like Don.

"Dad?"

Alan's tears fell as he looked up at Charlie. He scooted his chair closer to the head of Charlie's bed and leaned slightly forward.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, nothing. I just can't imagine losing you or your brother. I've come too close to it so far. Children are supposed to outlive their parents. It's the law."

Charlie smiled. He reached out and rested his hand on his father's wet cheek, using his fingers to wipe at the tears. Alan leaned into his son's hand, then grabbed it with his hands.

"Thank you. I should thank you both more often. It seems like any time I get close to losing one of you, the other is there to prevent it from happening."

Alan smiled as he wiped at his tears. "I'm sorry I had to fall apart like that." He chuckled nervously.

"You're tired, Dad. Go home."

"No. I should stay here. One of you might need me."

"We always need you, Dad, but right now you need rest. Go home. We'll take care of each other."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Go, Dad. Go."

"Didn't I read you that book?"

Charlie shook his head with confusion. "What?"

"'Go, Dog, Go.' Didn't I read you that book?"

"Maybe. You're definitely tired. Maybe you should call a cab."

"No. I'm fine. I'll go home by myself."

"Be careful," Charlie said as his father leaned over and kissed his forehead. Then Alan moved to do the same with his other son.

"Bye, kiddo. Sleep well."

Charlie yawned after Alan left. He was still groggy from the anesthesia. He was ready to sleep. However, Don must have thought otherwise.

"What? Dad? Charlie!" Don began to panic.

Charlie got out of bed quickly and went to his brother. He tried to calm him as he walked by talking to him.

"I'm here, Donnie. It's okay."

"Why can't I see? What's happening?" Don was frightened. Why couldn't he see?

"It's okay, Donnie. Your eyes are bandaged." Charlie reached out and touched Don and his brother flinched. Don reached up to touch his bandages, but Charlie stayed his hands.

"Wh-what? Why?"

"Do you remember the bomb case?"

"Yeah, I went after the bomb, too. What happened?"

"The bomb went off when you went in the building."

"What? No! It wasn't due to go off for another ten hours or so."

"I know, but it did."

"Why am I in the hospital? What happened to me?"

"You got burned on your leg and your eyes got flushed with MFD 300. You'll be okay, though."

"What about my eyes? Will... will I be able to see?"

"The doctors think so. The bandages are more of a precaution."

Don sighed with relief. "What time is it?"

"It's getting late. It's around eight."

"Where's Dad?"

"I just sent him home."

"And it worked?"

"Yeah. He was tired."

"He must have been if you succeeded in convincing him to go home."

Charlie smiled. "Yeah. He was."

Don reached out for his brother's hand and Charlie took it.

"Thanks for staying. I wouldn't have wanted to wake up alone."

"No problem, Don."

Don smiled and pressed deeper into his pillows.

"I think I'm going to go back to sleep, Buddy."

"Okay. Sleep well."

"Okay."

Don hadn't asked how Charlie was so Charlie felt no need to tell his brother his arm was hurt. But did he remember that he had told him earlier? Would he have to tell Don again? And if so, could he do it?

**This chapter's title comes from the song "It Ends Tonight" by All-American Rejects.**

**Thank you to FraidyCat for giving me so much help with this chapter. As always, you ROCK!**

**And if anyone got confused, when Don thought he was Charlie, he was actually awake, just thought he was dreaming. That was FC's idea. Isn't she awesome?**


	20. Let Us Hold to Each Other

Alan was at the hospital in the morning so he could talk to the doctor about Don and Charlie's releases. They were both allowed to go home that day, so Alan just waited for them to wake up.

Charlie woke first and Alan moved to the head of the bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm good. You look better, too."

Alan smiled. "Well, thank you. I was wondering... did you tell Don?" Alan talked quietly.

"Well, yes, but I doubt he will remember it. He was pretty out of it at the time."

"Are you going to tell him again?"

"Of course."

"Good. I can't have you two fighting again."

Charlie nodded. "Yeah, I know."

"Okay. As long as you know that. Here's some clothes I brought you from home."

"Thanks, Dad."

Charlie stood and walked to the bathroom to change.

"Are you going to need any help?" Alan asked when Charlie reached the door.

"I don't think so. I'll leave the door unlocked in case I do."

"Okay."

While Charlie struggled to get his shirt on, Don woke up. He didn't remember, again, that his eyes were bandaged.

Don feared one of his worst nightmares had come true. He had always feared being captured and kept in the dark. He was afraid that was the case now. His breathing quickened and he whimpered.

"Dad! Charlie!" Don screamed, hoping that it wasn't really the nightmare he was living.

"Donnie, it's okay! I'm right here." Alan grabbed onto his son in a tight embrace and slowly Don's breathing calmed to normal.

Don heard a loud crashing sound and gripped his father's arm. "What happened?"

"I think that was Charlie. Charlie! Are you all right?"

Charlie stumbled out of the bathroom, looking quite disheveled. He had managed to get dressed, but the last few seconds were rushed when he heard his brother call his name.

"Wh-where are we? What happened?" Don asked again.

"You're in the hospital. It's okay, though. You'll be fine."

"Why is it dark?"

"It's okay, Donnie. Your eyes are only bandaged."

"Charlie? Where are you?"

Charlie stepped over to his brother and held Don's hand. "I'm right here."

Don gave a small smile, then a nervous chuckle. "You had me worried there for a second, guys."

"It's okay, Donnie."

"Why are my eyes bandaged?"

"There was a fire when the bomb went off."

Don's face scrunched up in confusion. "Didn't you tell me that last night, Chuck?"

"Yes, I did."

"Yeah, I remember. The bomb wasn't supposed to go off for several hours, but it went off before we expected."

"Right."

Once the doctor gave them their release forms, the Eppes men left the hospital and went home. Charlie led Don out to the car, much like Don had helped him weeks before.

When Charlie closed the side door of the car for Don, he looked at his father who hovered by the driver's seat, staring at him.

"What?" Charlie whispered.

"Why didn't you tell him?" Alan whispered back.

"I will! He's got a lot to deal with right now."

Don's window rolled down. "Why aren't you guys getting in the car?"

"Sorry, Don." Charlie opened his door and sat down. Alan sighed in frustration and got in the driver's seat.

Once at home, Don went upstairs to his old room to go to sleep. This time Alan helped him get there.

Charlie laid down on the couch. Though a simple drive from the hospital to the house, he felt like he'd run a marathon. There was still a dull ache in his arm uncontrolled by medication. He cradled his injured arm on his chest as he threw his other arm behind his head to cushion it.

Alan came back down the steps and saw Charlie stretched out on the couch. He went to the closet and pulled out an extra pillow and a blanket his wife had made. He could still faintly smell her scent in the fabric.

He came up behind his son on the couch to replace Charlie's arm with a pillow. Charlie turned his head to look at his father and smiled when he realized what he was doing.

"Thanks." Charlie sank into the soft pillow and turned on his side. When he did, his father covered him with the soft blue and white blanket. Charlie grabbed the top of it and pulled it under his chin. Though he wasn't looking at it, he recognized the blanket as one his mother had made. It brought extra comfort for him, making it easy for him to fall asleep.

With both his sons asleep, Alan decided to take advantage of the opportunity to go pick up some groceries from the store. Before he left, Alan took out both his sons' cell phones and placed them within easy reach of both. Also, he left two house phones for them. He knew the phones would prove difficult for Don to use, but if it were a real emergency, Alan figured Don could find the two buttons he'd need for 9-1-1.

He wrote Charlie a note telling him where he'd be if he needed him. He didn't expect to be gone long, but he didn't want his sons to worry if they woke up without him there. Feeling as content as he could leaving his injured sons alone, Alan left.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Charlie! No! Charlie!_

Don could only see his brother getting hit with a baseball bat. Everything else was black. He could see blood pouring from his unconscious little brother's body. Something held Don back. There was no way to save Charlie.

"Charlie!"

Don woke himself up with the scream. It took a moment for the real world to settle in around him. However, the dream had such a realistic feel to it that Don had to make sure it hadn't actually happened.

"Charlie! Dad!" Don recognized the feel of his old bed, so he knew he was at home. He could remember being released from the hospital, coming home, and going to bed. Charlie and their father should be home with him then.

"Charlie!"

Feeling a panic in him, Don got up and cautiously walked to the door. He held his arms out in front of him so he wouldn't run into a wall or door.

He felt his way to the steps and gulped. This wouldn't be easy. "Charlie!" he called again.

When he didn't get a response, Don slowly walked down the stairs and clung to the railing.

_Living room to the left. Through there is the kitchen. You can do this, Eppes._

"Charlie!" Don shouted as he entered the living room.

This time, he was heard.

Charlie shot up off the couch when he heard Don yell his name. "Don? Are you okay?"

Hearing his brother's voice, Don stepped toward it.

"Charlie? Are you okay?"

Charlie reached out with his right hand and grabbed onto his brother's upper arm. Needing reassurance from his little brother, Don also reached out for Charlie's arm... his left arm.

When Don't fingers surrounded Charlie's injured forearm in a tight grip, Charlie screamed out in pain. His brother immediately let go, but he still backed away from Don's grasp.

Charlie felt tears form in his eyes as the stinging pain caused a throb in his arm. He took shaky breaths, fighting the pain away.

"Charlie, what just happened? I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I... I know, Don." Charlie's voice was hoarse from the pain. He clutched his injured arm a little tighter against his chest protectively.

Charlie led Don to the couch and sat down beside his brother.

"Are you okay, Buddy? That... that shouldn't have hurt that much."

"I'll tell you about it in a minute. What about you? You were yelling for me."

Don blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. "I, uh, I had a dream about when you got his with the bat. I was beginning to think it happened again."

"No, it didn't. But, um, I did get hurt again, Don."

"What?" Don demanded once that set in.

"You were in the building when the bomb went off. You were knocked unconscious. Your... your team had to get out of there. A fire had started and was spreading quickly. You were alone in a burning building, with flames surrounding you, while you were unconscious."

"What? How the hell did I get out?"

"I-I was on the headset with you, Don. I was talking to you one minute, the next you weren't there. I... I had to do something."

"What did you do, Charlie?" The pieces were beginning to fall together, but Don didn't think his predicted conclusion could be possible.

"I got off the headset and got in my car. I made it close to halfway when traffic blocked my way... so I pulled over. I got out of my car and ran the rest of the way."

"No, Charlie... don't." Don didn't want that to be the truth.

Charlie continued. "I asked Megan where you were. She said you were still inside, so I went to the building. Colby tried to stop me, but I hit him. I went in the building. I knew it pretty well because I had gone over the maps so many times. I found you close to where the bomb had been."

Images of the way Charlie had found his brother flashed in his mind. He choked on a sob that suddenly came from his pent up emotions inside him. He didn't like seeing Don so hurt the first time. This was even harder.

"Your leg... it was on fire. I-I-I put out the flames on your leg and picked you up. I-I carried you out. And, um, when the paramedics took you away from me, I collapsed... My arm was on fire."

Don gasped. "Oh, Charlie."

Charlie felt the tears wash his face. He shook his head at the remembrance.

"I... I had to have surgery on my arm because there were second and third degree burns on it."

"No!"

"Yes," Charlie quietly replied. "It was a quick procedure. I don't think you even woke while I was gone."

"Charlie... why didn't you tell me?"

Charlie bit his lower lip. He knew it was coming. Don didn't sound too angry, though.

"I did when we were in the hospital. You were pretty out of it, though."

Don shook his head. "I... I can't believe that. Do you realize you could have been hurt even worse than that?"

Charlie stood, outraged. "I could have been hurt worse? Don, you could have died! You were unconscious in a burning building! Stop thinking about me for a second and worry about yourself!"

Don could feel the emptiness in the seat beside him.

"Ch-Charlie?" Don felt for his brother.

"No, I mean it! You could have died a few days ago! You should be worried about yourself."

Charlie stalked off toward the kitchen, completely forgetting that his brother couldn't see.

Don stood, wanting to follow his brother. "Charlie." He walked in the direction of the kitchen, but wasn't prepared for the chair in his path.

Don fell forward and reached out to catch himself. He landed hard and he felt an aching pain in his injured leg.

"Don. Don!" Charlie came running back in from the kitchen and quickly dropped down beside his brother.

"I'm so sorry, Don. Are you all right? I'm sorry! I never should have left. I'm sorry I yelled. I-"

"Charlie, stop. I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

Charlie nearly made Don fall over again when he tackled his brother in a hug.

"I'm so sorry," Charlie cried.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm all right."

"I didn't mean to yell."

"I know. But take your own advice sometime."

Charlie looked up. "What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? Charlie, you're the one who wouldn't tell me you couldn't see after you got hurt to protect me. You're the one who ran into a burning building to save me. I think you need to worry about yourself a little, too."

Charlie blushed slightly. "I wasn't really thinking when I did it. I mean... the only real thought in my head was, 'Get Don out.' Nothing else mattered. Everything else disappeared."

Don smiled. He had had that feeling before in his life over his little brother.

"I'm sorry I led you there in the first place. I'm sorry I didn't get you out faster."

Don remembered something that had happened shortly after Charlie couldn't see.

"But, Charlie... you saved me this time. Remember?"

"What?" Charlie was confused. What did Don mean by "this time?"

"Remember? You had a nightmare after you couldn't see. There was a fire and you couldn't find me. This time you did."

Charlie shivered at the thought of that nightmare. He had hated it. It had left him terrified and ashamed. He wasn't able to save Don.

It was strange that he had actually lived the dream. Charlie was proud that he had overcome it and had proven it wrong. He never would have been able to live with himself if the nightmare had come true.

Don smiled and reached out for his brother's hand. Charlie took it and squeezed.

"I'm so proud of you, Buddy."

Charlie smiled.

"Hey, where's Dad?" Don asked.

"I don't know." Charlie looked outside for the car, and smiled when he saw his father's car out front... with his father still sitting in the driver's seat.

"He's out in the car in the driveway."

"How long you think he's been out there?" Don grinned, too.

"Who knows? He probably saw us talking and decided he couldn't come in and interrupt us."

"That sounds like him. Let's go get him."

"Okay."

Charlie kept a hand on Don's shoulder to lead him out to the car. Don put full trust in his brother and they managed to get out there safely.

Alan smiled when he saw his sons coming toward him.

"Busted," Don said when Charlie opened the door.

"What? Can't I sit out in my own car?"

Charlie rolled his eyes. "It's your house, too, Dad. You're allowed to come in."

"We all know that if I had you boys would have stopped talking and who knows when it would have been resolved."

"Fine, fine."

"So, you two are okay?"

"Of course, Dad. We were before that, too," Don replied.

"Well, that's good. I told your brother to tell you about his arm."

"I know. He did, willingly, too."

"That's good. I couldn't stand you two fighting again."

Charlie threw an arm around his brother's shoulders. "Yeah, me, too."

"Me, too." Don smiled as he threw an arm around his brother, too.

"Well, let's get these groceries inside, huh, boys?"

"I think you can handle it, Dad."

Alan gave Charlie a stern look.

"What? We're hurt," Charlie gave his excuse.

"Yeah, and you'll be hurt worse if you don't help me."

"Is that a threat?"

"No, that's a fact. Come on, help me."

The three laughed as they walked to the house, each carrying only one bag. Alan could have easily gotten them by himself, but he wanted his sons with him. It was so comfortable having them all together. Alan knew that that wouldn't change any time soon now.

It was perfect.

**Title comes from "Now Comes the Night" by Rob Thomas.**


	21. Let's Write An Ending That Fits

Don and Charlie were home alone. Alan was volunteering at the homeless shelter and hoped he could leave his sons home alone for a few hours. When he got home, he'd be taking Don to the hospital to get his bandages removed.

Needless to say, Don was nervous. He could hardly imagine being blind for the rest of his life. The doctors didn't seem to have reason to believe he would lose his sight, but Don still felt the odds were against him. He knew if he asked his little brother, Charlie could tell him the true odds. However, Don wouldn't because he didn't want to know.

Charlie was stretched out on the couch and Don was sitting in the arm chair in front of him. Charlie watched as his brother fiddled with a button on his shirt that was loose. He could see the worry on Don's face and he hated it.

"Don?"

Don was startled, though he knew his brother was there. "Y-yeah, Buddy?"

Charlie sat up and leaned forward. "You're going to be okay. You know that, right?"

Don would have said, yes, but there was that question on his mind. "What if I can't see?"

"Do you think that's going to change anything? You'll still be okay. We'll get you through this."

Don felt his greatest fear come to his mouth, and he couldn't stop it from spilling out. "If I'm blind, I'll never be an agent again. I'll have to find a new job."

Charlie felt his stomach lurch. Don not be an agent? Charlie could hardly remember how Don was before he worked for the FBI. That would kill his brother.

"I know you'll be okay. I'm confident that you'll be able to see. I-I can't imagine that not being the case."

"You stuttered."

Charlie's face scrunched up in confusion. "What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?"

"You don't stutter when you're confident about things. When you aren't sure about your math, you stutter. When you know you're right, you speak without any flaws. You're not positive I'll be able to see."

Charlie looked down at his hands. He felt tears cloud his vision and it caused his voice to turn scratchy. He looked up at his brother.

"I-I stutter other times, too... like when I'm scared."

Don's worry lines smoothed over on his forehead as he turned his head toward his brother's voice. "Are you scared now, Buddy?"

Charlie's tears spilled over and he caught them on the palm of his hand as they fell off his chin. "Yeah... yes, I'm scared."

Don stood and held his hand out as he trailed the edge of the chair and to the arm rest of the couch. He felt Charlie's arm and then sat down beside his brother.

"How are you scared now, but you went through a burning building to save me?" Don squeezed Charlie's shoulder and waited for an answer.

Charlie leaned into his brother's side for a moment as he gathered the courage to speak so openly with his brother.

"I... I wasn't afraid of the fire. I wasn't scared of getting burned. I... I was only afraid for you. But don't think I'm so selfless because I'm not.

"I was afraid you'd die alone up there. I can't think of you as being helpless. It's just not you. But I knew that you were helpless to that fate up there if I didn't come. The fire department couldn't get there in time. You would have died up there because you couldn't save yourself."

Charlie found it hard to say what he truly felt that day, what he was feeling now.

"Don, I wasn't afraid that day because I knew what I had to do and what would happen if I didn't. I had to save you, Don. That was all there was to it.

"But I'm scared now because... because I'm a selfish person. I want you to always be the big brother. I want you to be the hero, the protector, the one everyone looks to for help. I-I spouted off to Dad about how I'm as strong as you are, but I'm not, Don. I'm not."

Don could feel Charlie shaking beside him. He wished he could see his brother's face.

"If you're blind, you won't be the same. You won't be the same agent, you won't be as strong as you are now due to your limitations. And because of it... I'd probably take over your role as being the stronger one. You'll need someone to get you through this and I'll be that person for you.

"I-I can't do that, Don. I don't want to be the stronger one. I-I depend on you. I'm not strong enough for it to be the other way around. I need you to help me because I'm afraid that if I try to help you, that due to my weaknesses, I'll end up failing you. I can't stand that."

Don felt pride surge through him in waves. He hardly saw himself the way Charlie did. He didn't want that to happen to Charlie either. Don had always felt the pressure of being the older brother. He knew he had a responsibility to protect his little brother and as he grew up, that responsibility took over toward other people as well. He protected his team, the public, his friends, his father. He knew what he had to do and he had fit into the role. He was comfortable with it. If he was weakened by blindness, he'd never be the same.

"I don't want you to have to do that either, Buddy. It... it takes time to fall into this role. I know you're strong enough to do it. You always have been. But it's not you, Charlie. You're independent. You don't ask for help much, but you're willing to help others. You're more of a helper than a protector, you know?

"I... I just hope that it doesn't come to you having to do all that because I don't want you put under that pressure. I hope I'll be able to see, but if I don't, we'll get through it together. Just because I wouldn't be able to see doesn't mean that I wouldn't be able to give you advice. We'll get through this, Buddy. Just think, it may be over in a few hours."

Don wanted to think that it would be over soon, but the fear of what could happen still came first in his mind. Charlie feared it, too. Did that mean the odds were against him? He hoped that wasn't the case because his doctors spoke with such confidence. He'd hate for it to turn out to be empty hope.

Charlie grabbed onto his brother's arm, like he had when he was the one who couldn't see.

"Thank you," he whispered, knowing that Don's reassurance would calm his nerves for a while. But when it came time for Don's bandages to be removed...

Charlie didn't want to think about that. He'd be okay. That was all there was to it. But "what if" was a dangerous lasso that pulled him back to reality. The rope burned his skin to constantly remind him that there was a chance that Don wouldn't be able to see. And the more he tried to deny it, the tighter the bounds became.

"Charlie... how bad could this have been?" Don asked, and instinctively, Charlie knew what he was asking about.

"Bad. Dad would have had the worst of it because... well, because we both could have died that day."

Don blew out a breath. "That's what scares me the most. I would never have wanted you to come in there after me if I had known because I know what kind of a risk that would have been for you to take. If we both died, that would have been so... so wrong. I mean, you would have risked your life for nothing. All I want is for you to be safe. You know that, don't you, Buddy?"

Charlie nodded, but remembered Don couldn't see him. "Yes."

"Good. I can't have you getting hurt. Dad doesn't want me hurt either, but he accepted years ago the life I had chosen for myself. He understands that my job is dangerous. But, Charlie, you're a mathematician. You teach at a college and consult for the FBI, among other things. That's not a risky move for you. Dad understands that.

"Did you know that after you got out of college Dad and I had a long talk about your career choice? He... he was so happy. I felt like I was almost a disappointment to him with the way he talked about it. He just kept saying that he was so happy that at least one of his sons would be safe. He was so relieved. I-I-I hated when I told Mom and Dad what I wanted to do. They were supportive, of course, but I knew that they weren't too happy about it. They'd never say it to my face, or at least not in direct ways."

Don smiled and shook his head as he remembered their not too subtle ways of letting him know that they were reluctant for him to go into a career with the FBI.

"But, Buddy, you've come into my job, and I love that because we get to spend time together. But, I never, ever want you to be put in danger again, do you understand me? I can't let this happen again. You're a consultant, you're not a field agent. I want you to be safe, just like you'd be with your job at CalSci. Dad wants it that way, and I do too."

Charlie felt fear of losing his job with Don choke him. "Wh-what do you have in mind?"

Don squeezed Charlie's arm. "I think it best that you stay at the office, ours or yours."

Charlie felt confused. "But, Don, that's what I've always done."

"Until the other day. Please, Charlie, promise me you'll never do that again."

"No."

Don wasn't expecting that. "What?"

"I can't promise that. If you're ever in that situation again, I won't be thinking about any promise I have to you or anyone else. It'll be like it was before. I'll be thinking about helping you. It'll be the only thing on my mind. It's more of a reflex. I can't stop that. So, no, I don't promise that."

Don smiled and hugged his brother tightly. "You're too much like me, you know that? I think the same thing about you."

Charlie smiled as he pushed out of Don's arms. "So I can still consult?"

Don laughed. "Of course! What, do you think I'd actually fire my own brother? Dad would never let me hear the end of it!"

Charlie laughed and turned his head when he heard a car pulling into the driveway. He saw his father's car and turned to Don.

"Don... Dad's here."

Don's hands went could and his face paled. "Is... is it time?"

"Yeah," Charlie said quietly.

Don swallowed hard and stood. "Well. Let's go then."

Charlie led Don out to the car and the three silently went to the hospital. When they were in the waiting room, Alan looked at both his boys, who sat across from him.

"Are you two okay?"

Don nodded and Charlie said, "Yes."

"It'll be okay, boys. You know that, don't you? We're a family. We can get through anything together."

Don gave a small smile. "Yeah. I know."

Charlie looked off to the side, fighting the tears of fear.

"Don Eppes?" A nurse came out to take him back.

Don stood and turned to his brother. "Buddy? Will you come back with me?"

Charlie looked from Don to his father. Alan smiled and nodded, so Charlie moved to his brother's side and they walked back together.

Don sat down on the examining table and waited for the doctor come in. Charlie could see his brother's hands shaking and he himself was getting rather shaky.

"Hello, Don. Ready to get those bandages off?" Dr. Smith said as he walked into the room.

"Yes, sir."

"Okay."

Dr. Smith easily removed the bandages and with perfect clarity, Don looked into his brother's face and smiled.

"Hey, Buddy."


End file.
